21 Stories Of Betrayals That Caused Friendships To Collapse In An Instant
Sometimes, the person who you think has your back ends up aiming for it.
Friendships are relationships that feel like home—that warm, fuzzy glue that holds our social lives together. But what happens when that glue turns to sludge?
Sometimes, all it takes is one awkward moment, one unexpected comment, or one weird betrayal to reveal that the "friend" you've been hanging out with might actually not be who you thought they were.
Imagine sitting at brunch with your best friend, the person you’ve shared countless inside jokes with and knows every embarrassing detail of your life.
Suddenly, mid-mimosa, they loudly drop a comment concerning an embarrassing rumor they know is untrue—about you. And yes, it’s loud enough for the people across the table to hear and shoot you dirty looks.
You laugh it off, thinking, “They must be joking.” But their face says otherwise. That’s when it hits you like a glass of cold water to the face: Who is this person? And how did I not see this side of them before?
Turns out, you’re not alone. Over on Reddit, people have been sharing the exact moments they realized their “friends” had a darker side that was truly terrifying to behold.
So buckle up because we've rounded up 21 of the most shocking stories. We hope your friend circle is full of keepers, but if not, maybe these stories will help you spot the signs sooner.
1. When your friend turns out to be cruel, it's time to hit refresh
When he threw a unopened can of coke at a homeless person. Stopped being his friend right then and there and I took the homeless women to get food and gave her money to go get replacement clothes from goodwill. I've never been so ashamed of someone before or after that.
davethapeanut , Olena Bohovyk/Pexels (not the actual photo)2. Training a co-worker turns into a nightmare when they go full villain and take aim at an innocent turtle. Goodbye, trust.
He was a co-worker that hadn’t been on the job long and I was tasked with training him. We worked a service route driving from job to job. He was in his van following me and I passed a turtle in the middle of the road on the painted line. I looked back in my rear view mirror in time to see him purposely swerve and run over the turtle. A*****e!
Santatim_NC , Magda Ehlers/Pexels (not the actual photo)3. Twenty years of friendship erased with one Civil War revelation. Some arguments aren’t just wrong—they’re a whole new level of unacceptable.
He explained to me, after the George Floyd protests, that the outcome of the Civil War was wrong, and that Covid was the fault of black people. Never heard any kind of trash like that from him over twenty years. I stood up, told him I would never darken his threshold again and that we were through as friends. I’ve kept my word.
Pusfilledonut , Mental Health America (MHA)/Pexels (not the actual)
The Psychology of Betrayal
Betrayal can hit hard, often shattering trust in relationships. Dr. Steven Pinker, a cognitive scientist, notes that betrayal triggers deep emotional responses linked to survival instincts. Feeling betrayed can activate the brain's threat response system, causing stress and insecurity.
This reaction isn't merely emotional; it's biological. Understanding these responses can help individuals navigate their feelings and reactions more effectively. Recognizing betrayal as a common human experience can foster resilience, allowing one to rebuild trust in future relationships.
Life coach Iyanla Vanzant emphasizes the importance of self-reflection after experiencing betrayal. She suggests that individuals should take time to evaluate their feelings, asking themselves what led to the situation and how they can grow from it. This self-exploration can transform the experience into a learning opportunity.
Vanzant also encourages individuals to engage in positive self-talk and reinforce their worth. This approach not only aids in healing but also empowers individuals to establish healthier boundaries and relationships moving forward.
4. Not letting your struggling staff keep their tips is a different level of diabolical
My friend owns a very popular food truck in the south. She’s netting a half a million a year in revenue. She needed help for a big event, so I went down and worked for her this past July. I worked with one of her regular employees and I asked how the tips were usually split up. The girl told me that my friend keeps every single tip, and that she’s never seen one. This girl is 20 years old and in college and my friend is still taking the few hundred bucks from her. That money is a drop in the bucket for my friend, but life changing for that girl. At that point I realized true greed. Haven’t talked to her since.
missmorganadams , RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)
5. At least one good thing came out of the missing wallet situation—getting to know who your real friends truly are
I'd always bought my best friend lunch in high school, Like everyday. Every when he had detention, I'd come by and drop him off food. This one week, I lost my wallet, so no money. Surprisingly he he had money that week I didn't have money. I asked him if he could get me lunch and straight up said no. I thought he was joking and then he just bought food and ate by himself. Made me really think people can be so greedy to their best friend. I stopped hanging out with him after that, and I didn't buy him food anymore. (He didn't steal my wallet it was at my grandma's house.).
DivineArcade1 , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo)
6. Thirty years of friendship boiled down to a single racist outburst. Some lines, once crossed, can’t be uncrossed.
Going on our 30th year of being friends. Dating back to meeting in boot camp and years together afterwards in navy commands. He became a US Marshall, early 2002, and it’s now 2020 and the riots were going strong. I asked him some questions to learn about what the law enforcement community opinions were about the riots. He said, and I quote, “all black people are f*****g animals!”I told him we could not be friends anymore and blocked him.
Tollin74 , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo)
According to Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned couples therapist, betrayal often stems from unmet needs within a relationship. She explains that understanding these needs can lead to healthier, more honest communication. Perel emphasizes that when individuals feel secure in expressing their needs, they’re less likely to experience feelings of betrayal.
As she notes, transparency in relationships is crucial. Couples should regularly check in about each other's needs, ensuring that both partners feel valued and understood, ultimately reducing the likelihood of betrayal.
7. Some people just don't know the meaning of responsibility
Left his wife and kids because he was in love with my wife, who wasn't interested in him at all. Then literally never saw his kids again and gave up all parental rights. Her next husband, also a friend of mine, adopted them and has been a great dad.
Pure_Mammoth_1233 , Mikhail Nilov/Pexels (not the actual photo)
8. Being this insensitive is an enormous dealbreaker
I started dating a really nice girl who worked in a jewelry store. After three or four dates, she told me that my roommate and supposed friend had stopped by the store to tell her my dad was an alcoholic. Which was true, but we both thought it was crude and strange that he did that. I dumped him and married her. Still married 40 years later.
p38-lightning , Maksim Goncharenok/Pexels (not the actual photo)
9. No disrespectful energy allowed in this house
He called his wife a c**t, to her face, in my house. I told him “you’re not gonna call her a c**t in my house.”.
Citadel_97E , Ron Lach/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Learning from Conflict
Dr. Dan Ariely, a behavioral economist, highlights how misunderstandings and assumptions can lead to feelings of betrayal. He suggests that clearer communication can significantly reduce conflicts. By actively listening and validating each other's feelings, friends can better navigate complex emotional landscapes.
Ariely recommends techniques such as 'active listening' and 'I-statements' to foster understanding. These methods encourage individuals to express their feelings without blaming others, creating a more supportive dialogue that can prevent misunderstandings from escalating into serious betrayals.
10. If your friend suggests violence against your family member like it's casual chit-chat, might be time to run for the hills
That time he told me my trans cousin should be shot and it didn’t even occur to him that that’s my cousin. He said it like I was just meant to agree with him like “oh hey, this is what us regular people think when there’s no weirdos around, right?” Haven’t spoken to him since.Edit: the icing on the cake is how he just moved on to a different topic as though he didn’t just tell me he thought a member of my family should be executed cuz pronouns or something.
TheOtherJohnson , Anna Tarazevich/Pexels (not the actual photo)
11. Thankfully, the ‘sabotage’ attempt backfired in the best way
When my friend came out MAGA.
copingstoic , Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels (not the actual photo)
12. Spoiler: It was a big deal—and so was their Karma
He slept with my girlfriend, and they both gaslit me telling me it wasnt a big deal “she didnt think of me as her bf in her head”And then sometime later she cheated on him and he was surprised…..
Honest-Advisegiver , Tope A. Asokere/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading expert in self-compassion, points out that people often respond to betrayal with self-criticism, which can exacerbate feelings of isolation. Instead, she advocates for self-compassion as a powerful tool for healing. Neff emphasizes that treating oneself with kindness during difficult times can facilitate emotional recovery.
Practicing self-compassion helps individuals to recognize that they are not alone in their feelings of hurt, fostering resilience and allowing them to move forward positively. This approach can pave the way for healthier future relationships.
13. Crazy doesn’t even begin to cover this
When she and another friend of hers were mad at this guy they knew and she told me they were planning to sneak over to his house and “k*ll his dog” for revenge. (I don’t think they ever did it honestly but yeah, what a crazy b***h).
AlexAA72 , Hoy/Pexels (not the actual photo)
14. Being this insensitive is an enormous dealbreaker
I had a miscarriage, and in response to that news my best friend attached pictures of her own three-month-old baby, ostensibly to cheer me up, at the end of her condolence email (we had grown up together but settled in different cities). I was so stunned by this that I wasn't sure how to address it; I thought she had perhaps attached the pictures by mistake? She was after all my best friend of many years, so surely she wouldn't have been so insensitive-- so I didn't reply. For the sake of loving her, and I wanted to continue to love her, I decided it wasn't deliberate, but it was quite hurtful and it stayed on my mind. At our next in-person visit, a few months later, she brought up that she had had the idea to send me the baby pictures but thought it "might hurt my feelings," but also that her baby "was just so cute!" so she asked her husband, a psychologist, if it would be cruel. He reassured her it would be fine, so she attached them. I was even more shocked by this revelation-- I could forgive thoughtlessness, but to have her say to my face that she'd thought it could hurt me, but went looking for permission to do it anyway because her baby was cute? Nah. It ended our friendship.
Osfees , Thirdman/Pexels (not the actual photo)
15. Crazy doesn’t even begin to cover this
They were screaming in my face repeatedly that my dead mom is still alive in heaven after I had nicely asked them not to say that to me. Edit: my best friend from pre k until I was 22.
444jxrdan444 , Aynur Latfullin/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Building Trust Again
Rebuilding trust after a betrayal is a complex process, but Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis suggests it can be achieved through open dialogue. She emphasizes that engaging in honest conversations about feelings creates a foundation for healing. This dialogue should include discussing what led to the betrayal and how both parties can prevent it in the future.
Weiner-Davis advises that setting clear boundaries and expressing individual needs can help restore trust. By actively working on communication, friends can rebuild their relationship stronger and more resilient than before.
16. I guess the real gift was a harsh life lesson
When I got a big promotion at work and she said “what, did no one else want it or something?” Knew right then she didn’t think I was deserving or qualified. Really took the wind out of my sails. She was one of the first people I told because I was excited about it.
BRCRN , John Diez/Pexels (not the actual photo)
17. Never seen such a red flag parade that shone this bright
When he straight lifted up his girlfriends shirt and bra while we were all chilling at another friend's house exposing her to all like 5 of us hanging out.
MountainDrew757 , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)
18. If everyone you know is the worst, then maybe the common denominator isn’t them—it’s you.
We went out clubbing and I happened to come across and old friend. She later was making jokes about him being “ugly” and “looking like an alien.” He was a burn victim and she knew that. She would also park in the handicapped spots when she had no disabilities. She then leaked my phone number online having people harass me and thought she was doing something by dating my abusive ex bf. They lasted two weeks.
angel_bunny444 , Monstera Production/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, a child development expert, emphasizes that the skills we learn in childhood regarding trust and betrayal often carry into adulthood. She explains that witnessing healthy conflict resolution helps individuals understand how to manage betrayal effectively in their friendships.
Creating a culture of open communication in childhood can set the stage for healthier adult relationships. Parents should model how to express feelings and resolve conflicts, paving the way for children to grow into empathetic adults who can navigate betrayal thoughtfully.
19. When your friend’s political awakening feels like a nightmare, sometimes the only choice is to walk away
We lived in the same dorm and worked at the same place. I gave him a ride to work daily because he didn't have a car for a few months. The thought never occurred to me to ask for money because it I was going there anyway...why would I? He got a car and my car broke down. I asked for a ride. He asks me for gas money.
twelveparsnips , Tobi/Pexels (not the actual photo)
20. Apparently, compassion wasn’t part of the long-term friendship contract—goodbye and good riddance.
She talked poorly about every single person she knew/met.
spicymeatball707 , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)
21. Who needs enemies when you’ve got a boyfriend like this?
We walked past the gay pub in town and he ran up to it, opened the door and shouted “f**g*ts”!!Twat.
SnoopyLupus , Lorna Pauli/Pexels (not the actual photo)
The Role of Empathy
Empathy plays a crucial role in understanding betrayal. Malcolm Gladwell, an influential author, points out that developing empathy allows individuals to see the situation from the other person's perspective. This understanding can diminish feelings of anger or resentment often associated with betrayal.
Practicing empathy involves actively listening and acknowledging the other person's feelings. By fostering empathy, individuals can create a space for healing and compassion, allowing for a deeper connection that can withstand future challenges.
22. Some friends don’t bring support; they just bring disappointment.
When I spent £100 on their birthday and they wouldn’t buy me a 69p drink.
bingusmadfut , Matthias Zomer/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Friendships are supposed to lift you, not weigh you down. As you read these stories, remember: there’s no shame in walking away from a bond that’s turned toxic.
You deserve friends who support and celebrate you, and if they’re not bringing that energy, it’s time to say goodbye. Life’s too short for fake friends!
Solutions & Coping Strategies
In conclusion, navigating the complexities of betrayal requires both understanding and action. By recognizing the emotional and psychological impacts of betrayal, individuals can work towards rebuilding trust and improving communication in their relationships.
Experts like Dr. Steven Pinker and Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis offer valuable insights on the importance of empathy, open dialogue, and self-reflection in healing. By applying these strategies, individuals can transform painful experiences into opportunities for growth, ultimately fostering stronger and more resilient friendships.
