Mom Protects Her Pre-Teen Daughter From Her Body-Shaming Grandma Who's Asking For Her Measurements
"No, Mother, I don't think we do."
Body shaming can start early, and for one Reddit poster, it came from the person who should have known better. Her mother spent years criticizing her looks, her clothes, and her weight, and now that the poster has a pre-teen daughter, the same behavior is creeping back in.
The family dynamic is already strained, since the poster and her mother have a long history of conflict. Things get even more uncomfortable when Grandma starts asking for the child’s measurements, which immediately raises red flags for the mom.
That’s where the story turns into a boundary test, and the poster is not backing down.
The thing is, OP's eldest daughter is going through puberty, and OP's mom is sensing another opportunity to dictate someone else's life.
OP is gritting her teeth as her mom realizes that OP's daughter is going through, according to OP's own words — the "chubby tween about to go through a growth spurt stage."
The eldest daughter is taller than OP, and she exercises daily. They eat healthy food, and OP is teaching her to listen to her hunger and fullness cues. Their doctor has also confirmed that the daughter is doing well.
However, knowing her own mother, OP is sure that her mom will say something unkind about the eldest daughter's appearance. Then she received a text.
OP's mom is asking for OP and her eldest daughter's measurements to buy them something. Based on their history, this is not a simple grandmotherly gesture.
OP knows that this question will lead to nowhere good. The Redditor admits that the clothing item to be gifted to them is useful, despite the mother's intentions.
The mom wanted to video call them about this, but OP said, "Maybe later." She and her eldest daughter did some online shopping and ordered the item themselves.
She then sent her mom a message thanking her for reminding them about the clothes and informing her that they had purchased them in the size and color they wanted.
As you probably guessed, this did not go well, and OP's mom replied that they "need to have a chat." To which OP's only thought is, "No, Mother, I don’t think we do."
Oniknight
You can read OP's entire original post below:
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Oniknight
OP handled it with so much grace. Really top-notch work!
Flashy_Current2284
OP's positive mother figure was her mother-in-law, who unfortunately passed away recently.
Oniknight
This kind of body and weight shaming is common for many women while growing up.
Fit_Ad_4455
It’s the same fight as the mom who set boundaries with a mother-in-law criticizing her parenting.
The perfect measurement
katiegirl-
Concise yet super effective
vvictoriaclare
DD stands for dear daughter in this forum, and yes, OP was playing like Bobby Fischer.
TheDocJ
OP experienced it herself and knew how truly damaging it was; she understood there was no point in subjecting her daughter to the same ordeal.
Still_a_little_feral
If you've met any teenagers, you know how erratic their eating patterns are. You only need to think back on your own puberty to understand.
megaworld65
It's how our bodies are.
moderately_neato
Of course, we all need guidance.
dragonbud20
Yes to all of these.
moderately_neato
The mom shouldn't interact with any growing kids.
Here_for_tea_
It's time to show where she stands exactly.
secondhandbananas
Set some boundaries and enforce them.
goldiecarlisle
Continuation of the comment above.
goldiecarlisle
This is alarming!
fugensnot
Maybe it's time to have a chat with dear old mom.
chung_my_wang
There's a pattern that needs to be stopped.
chung_my_wang
Apparently, OP has tried this in the past without much success...
Oniknight
... given that she's still trying to pull the same trick with OP's own daughter...
Oniknight
... and dear old mom is on a well-deserved timeout.
Oniknight
We've all been through our awkward teenage phase. Our hormones were going insane, and in response, our bodies were quite literally changing overnight.
For those of you who experienced bullying and unkind comments (from your peers or your own family) about your physical appearance while growing up, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
To the teenagers who are experiencing these changes right now, it's okay. It's normal to gain weight or to look too thin because you suddenly grew 3 inches taller; it's all part of growing up. Be kinder to yourself.
OP’s mom crossed lines again, read how she handled the backlash after setting boundaries.
