20-Year-Old Woman Wants Her Boyfriend To Learn How To Do Basic Chores Before They Start Living Together Because She Doesn’t Want To Be His Mom Or Teacher

Moving in together can expose the small habits that dating never really touches. For one 20-year-old woman, that meant facing a bigger question than shared rent or furniture.

Reddit user @napsandhugs said she and her boyfriend were thinking about living together, but she worried he was not ready for the basics. He does not cook, clean, or handle money on his own, and she does not want to become his mom or his teacher once they share a home.

That concern turned into a heated AITA post, and plenty of Redditors had thoughts. Here's the full story.

Is it smart to start living with someone totally inexperienced in doing house chores?

Alper Çuğun (not the actual photo

OP and her BF are thinking of moving in together

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But she is afraid that BF is not ready because his mom is doing everything for him

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He doesn't know how to cook, clean, or handle money...

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She is scared of becoming some sort of a parent/teacher in the relationship

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OP wants to teach him how to cook, but he will have to ask his mom for cleaning and other chores.

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Needless to say, BF is angry about her lack of faith in him.

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OP has her priorities and wishes, and parenting him is not one of them.

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This is similar to the AITA case about asking parents for rent after a breakup, and the emotional fallout.

His 'We will figure it out as we go' doesn't sit well with her

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So she asks if she is right

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Redditors say - Yes!

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Laundry is not brain surgery. Neither is operating a vacuum cleaner.

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At 24, he shouldn't rely on his mom for everything

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Some Redditors shared their experiences:

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One male Redditor gave OP good advice

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Cooking can be tough. It does require some talent. Cleaning and laundry don't.

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No, you figure it out first!

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Some Redditors asked if BF really needs to be taught. It is pretty simple - once you have no choice, you have to do it. And that's how you learn.

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The answer is somewhere in the middle

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This could also happen:

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Well, this is a tough one. The OP is definitely right about some things, but she may be too judgmental.

Yes, his mom does everything for him, but he lives there, and moms tend to do that for their kids, no matter how old they are. In most cases, once young people move out, they learn to cook and do chores for one simple reason: they have no choice.

That's the best motivation of them all.

Want more rent-related family tension? See the fight over asking your partner’s parents to pay rent in a basement apartment.