Redditor Gets Labelled A**hole After Admitting He Doesn't Know How to Cook

A Redditor just walked into a relationship argument with the confidence of a man who thinks ordering Uber Eats counts as “adulting.” Then he posted the whole thing online and got labeled an a**hole for admitting he does not know how to cook, even though he and his fiancée recently moved in together.

Here’s the messy part: he works full-time, she works part-time but has been ramping up her hours, and somehow she is still the one cooking for both of them. When she cannot, they order takeout, and he pays the rent in full while the bills are split. Add in the fact that she wants him to cook now instead of defaulting to delivery, and suddenly it is not just about dinner, it is about effort, money, and who is carrying what.

And when he tries to suggest solutions, like “I’ll just buy a dishwasher,” the whole thing turns into a full-on rant.

The Redditor asked if he's an a**hole for wanting to order food all the time because he doesn't know how to cook.

Reddit/Intelligent_Math8277

The OP explained that he and his fiancée recently moved in together.

This scenario reflects a behavior known as weaponized incompetence, where individuals feign inability to avoid responsibility.

He works full-time, while his fiancée works part-time but has started taking on more hours.

She is also planning to return to full-time work eventually.

That’s when the fiancée asked him to cook instead of placing another takeout order, and his “I did not know it was a problem” answer did not land.

Behavioral studies highlight that weaponized incompetence can be a form of emotional manipulation.

The couple is currently renting, but the OP says he pays the rent in full while the bills are usually split in half.

The Redditor states that his fiancée cooks for both of them, and when she can't, they order takeout.

Addressing Incompetence in Relationships

Effective communication strategies are essential for addressing weaponized incompetence in relationships.

However, she recently asked the OP to cook instead of ordering in.

When the OP suggested ordering Uber Eats, his fiancée wasn't impressed.

When he suggested Uber Eats, she made it clear she was not impressed, especially since she thinks takeout is wasting money and bad for them.

It’s the same kind of family blowup as siblings fighting over selling their family home.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP should make more of an effort to learn how to cook, or is his fiancée being unreasonable here?

As always, we would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

The OP claims he wasn't aware that his lack of cooking skills was an issue.

His fiancée pointed out that buying takeout all the time is a waste of money and unhealthy for both of them.

She asked the OP how he ever made it through university without being able to cook for himself.

The OP mentioned that his mother told him he would need to find a woman who would cook and clean for him.

When he brought this up to his fiancée, she started ranting about how she does the majority of the household chores.

The Redditor suggested that he could buy a dishwasher if it were such a big deal, but she said that would be a waste of money.

The OP claims he doesn't understand what the big deal is because his parents have always done everything for him.

Now the OP is wondering if he's the a**hole here.

Here's how people reacted.

Reddit/notmappedout

"You're weaponizing incompetence."

Reddit/Riposte12

The issue is obvious.

Reddit/Weekly-Act-3132

YTA.

Reddit/AudDMurphy

You're making things harder on yourself.

Reddit/freerange_chicken

"Weaponized incompetence at its finest."

Reddit/NanaLeonie

He then brought up how his mom told him he would need to find a woman who cooks and cleans, and she responded by talking about how much household work she already does.

After he floated the dishwasher idea, she shut that down too, and the OP was left wondering if he is the one being unreasonable.

In this scenario, the Redditor's lack of cooking skills highlights a broader issue of weaponized incompetence that can strain relationships. The conflict between him and his fiancée illustrates how failing to take responsibility for basic tasks like cooking can lead to resentment and frustration. Couples who openly discuss their roles and expectations around shared responsibilities, such as meal preparation, often find more satisfaction and balance in their partnerships. This case serves as a reminder that communication is key to navigating household dynamics effectively.

Now he’s stuck between learning to cook and realizing his fiancée might never stop counting the unpaid labor.

Wait, he refused to share his family’s apple pie recipe for a contest, see the AITA fallout here.