Redditor Gets Labelled A**hole After Admitting He Doesn't Know How to Cook

Cooking is one of those things you either love or hate. But it's something we all have to do, right?

Well, at 25, Reddit user u/Intelligent_Math8277 has yet to learn how to cook for himself, and now it's creating all kinds of problems between him and his fiancée. He recently shared his story in the r/AITA (Am I The A**hole?) subreddit.

The OP explained that he and his fiancée recently moved in together. He works full-time, while his fiancée works part-time but has started taking on more hours.

She is also planning to return to full-time work eventually. The couple is currently renting, but the OP says he pays the rent in full while the bills are usually split in half.

The Redditor states that his fiancée cooks for both of them, and when she can't, they order takeout. However, she recently asked the OP to cook instead of ordering in.

When the OP suggested ordering Uber Eats, his fiancée wasn't impressed. She told him he wastes too much money on fast food when he should know how to cook by now.

The OP claims he wasn't aware that his lack of cooking skills was an issue. His fiancée pointed out that buying takeout all the time is a waste of money and unhealthy for both of them.

She asked the OP how he ever made it through university without being able to cook for himself. He explained that he lived with his parents and never went hungry.

The OP mentioned that his mother told him he would need to find a woman who would cook and clean for him. When he brought this up to his fiancée, she started ranting about how she does the majority of the household chores.

The Redditor suggested that he could buy a dishwasher if it were such a big deal, but she said that would be a waste of money. The OP claims he doesn't understand what the big deal is because his parents have always done everything for him.

Now the OP is wondering if he's the a**hole here. Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

The Redditor asked if he's an a**hole for wanting to order food all the time because he doesn't know how to cook.

Reddit/Intelligent_Math8277

The OP explained that he and his fiancée recently moved in together.

Understanding Weaponized Incompetence

This scenario reflects a behavior known as weaponized incompetence, where individuals feign inability to avoid responsibility.

Psychologists suggest that this behavior stems from a desire to manipulate social dynamics and evade accountability.

Research published in the Journal of Social Psychology indicates that individuals using this tactic often provoke frustration in their partners, leading to a cycle of resentment.

He works full-time, while his fiancée works part-time but has started taking on more hours.

She is also planning to return to full-time work eventually.

Behavioral studies highlight that weaponized incompetence can be a form of emotional manipulation.

When one partner consistently avoids tasks by claiming incompetence, it can undermine the other partner’s emotional well-being and sense of fairness.

Recognizing this pattern is crucial for couples seeking to establish equitable partnerships.

The couple is currently renting, but the OP says he pays the rent in full while the bills are usually split in half.

The Redditor states that his fiancée cooks for both of them, and when she can't, they order takeout.

Addressing Incompetence in Relationships

Effective communication strategies are essential for addressing weaponized incompetence in relationships.

Research suggests that using specific, solution-oriented discussions can help partners express their feelings without escalating conflict.

Establishing clear expectations and accountability can foster a more balanced dynamic.

However, she recently asked the OP to cook instead of ordering in.

When the OP suggested ordering Uber Eats, his fiancée wasn't impressed.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP should make more of an effort to learn how to cook, or is his fiancée being unreasonable here?

As always, we would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

The OP claims he wasn't aware that his lack of cooking skills was an issue.

His fiancée pointed out that buying takeout all the time is a waste of money and unhealthy for both of them.

She asked the OP how he ever made it through university without being able to cook for himself.

The OP mentioned that his mother told him he would need to find a woman who would cook and clean for him.

When he brought this up to his fiancée, she started ranting about how she does the majority of the household chores.

The Redditor suggested that he could buy a dishwasher if it were such a big deal, but she said that would be a waste of money.

The OP claims he doesn't understand what the big deal is because his parents have always done everything for him.

Now the OP is wondering if he's the a**hole here.

Here's how people reacted.

Reddit/notmappedout

"You're weaponizing incompetence."

Reddit/Riposte12

The issue is obvious.

Reddit/Weekly-Act-3132

YTA.

Reddit/AudDMurphy

You're making things harder on yourself.

Reddit/freerange_chicken

"Weaponized incompetence at its finest."

Reddit/NanaLeonie

Psychological Analysis

This scenario illustrates a common dynamic in relationships where one partner may resort to avoidance tactics to escape accountability.

Recognizing these behaviors can empower couples to engage in more equitable partnerships.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, recognizing and addressing weaponized incompetence is vital for fostering healthy relationships.

Research supports that couples who engage in open dialogue about responsibilities tend to experience greater relational satisfaction and equity.