Fiancé Walks Out on Her Boyfriend While He Was Healing from Surgery After He Wouldn't Stop Comparing Her to His Mother
"You should have called my mom before leaving me!" - this mama's boy, probably.
Some family conflicts get messy fast, especially when a recovery period puts everyone under the same roof. In this case, one woman found herself caring for her boyfriend after open-heart surgery, while also dealing with a long-running feud with his mother. His mom had a habit of comparing herself to OP, and even after the boyfriend started setting boundaries, the dynamic never fully settled down. Then, while he was healing, he kept comparing OP to his mother instead of appreciating everything she was doing.
That was the last straw, and OP walked out. Now the family drama is spilling over into his recovery, and the comments have plenty to say about it. Read on.
Now that the boyfriend is home from the hospital, OP has been taking care of him 24/7.
She's not complaining about this since she loves him a lot. Sadly, OP's efforts seem to go unnoticed because her boyfriend has been complaining about everything since they've returned home.
He tells OP that his mom did this or that so much better than she does and questions why she can't do things the way his mom does. He also plays mind games with her when he compliments the food she cooks for him, but sadly, he claims it is not as delicious as his mother's food.
Hearing words like that on a daily basis, of course, chips away at OP's self-worth. Despite caring for him full-time, he keeps telling OP how he wishes his mom were there instead because she wouldn't be as useless as OP.
OP has been incredibly patient with him, even after hearing those words, but he said something that finally made her put a stop to the abuse. OP's boyfriend said his mom was right to claim that OP would never measure up and replace her as the main woman in his life.
To drive the knife in deeper, he said he now regrets distancing himself from his mom when he should have set tougher boundaries with OP instead. Hearing that was the last straw that made OP pack her bags and leave.
She is now staying with her cousin while her ex continues to call her, just to say she was an a**hole for leaving him during his recovery. He also said OP should have called his mother before she left so he would have someone to look after him.
OP replied that he should do that himself because it's not her concern anymore. Her parents also think that she was wrong for leaving him alone and should have called his mom before abandoning him.
Legitimate_Ad3818
Was OP wrong for leaving her recovering boyfriend after enduring verbal insults? Read her full post below:
Legitimate_Ad3818
Legitimate_Ad3818
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Legitimate_Ad3818
"He called and said I'm an AH"
Legitimate_Ad3818
He should just live with his mom since he likes her so much better than OP.
He should just live with his mom since he likes her so much better than OP.
Just-a-Pea
Apparently, once his mom started doting on him, he wanted OP to do the same (as if caring for him 24/7 is not enough).
Legitimate_Ad3818
Yep, he wanted the two women to compete with each other and show him who loves him more.
sylvanwhisper
When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.
jlnbtr
Some people sympathized with his recovery but said nothing really changed; he just got really comfortable showing who he was.
This is similar to the jobless son who moved back home and questioned his parents’ unpaid expectations.
This is an opportunity for OP to distance herself far away from this guy.
Did the surgery cause this?
Legitimate_Ad3818
Some people sympathized with his recovery but said nothing really changed; he just got really comfortable showing who he was.
Skittycatcher66
This is an opportunity for OP to distance herself far away from this guy.
BooRoWo
Others who have been through the same thing say that post-surgery recovery really does affect a person's mental state.
Careful-Location-872
It takes a while for them to return to their "normal" selves, and they may require professional help to deal with the trauma. However, OP's issues have more to do with the mother-son relationship than being an understanding full-time caregiver.
Prestigious_Dig_218
OP did a wonderful job attending to his needs alone, all hours of the day for weeks (if not months).
GoodGirlsGrace
Her boyfriend could have shown more appreciation for all of her hard work instead of constantly comparing her to his mom.
GoodGirlsGrace
He repeatedly told OP that she can't hold a candle to his mom until she snapped. Just imagine OP's exhaustion after taking care of him and then hearing those unappreciative words.
I would have given up a lot sooner than OP did after the first few times he started to compare her to his mom. Well, he got what he wished for, and his mom is now caring for him full-time while OP is onto greener pastures.
He may have pushed her too far this time.
Before you rush to care for anyone, read why this spouse wanted to move home to nurse her ailing mother.