Fiancé Walks Out on Her Boyfriend While He Was Healing from Surgery After He Wouldn't Stop Comparing Her to His Mother

Parents play a special role during the formative years of their children's lives. They form the foundation and serve as examples of how we will perceive relationships and establish boundaries in our future.

The way you were raised creates a significant impact even when you are an independent and self-sufficient adult. This can't be made any clearer in this frustrated fiancé's dilemma.

Looking for some clarity, a woman took to Reddit to share her problems. OP's (original poster) fiancé recently had open-heart surgery, and together with his mom, OP took care of him.

On top of the stress of ensuring his recovery goes without any complications, OP had to deal with another issue. She and his mom have not always seen eye to eye right from the very beginning of the couple's relationship.

His fiancé's mom has always tried to outshine whatever OP did. She told OP that she can't break their mother-son bond because she is the first woman in his life, having birthed and raised him.

She used to let her boyfriend's mom list all the ways she was better than OP, but she eventually learned to stand up for herself. When OP started speaking, her boyfriend supported her and established stricter boundaries with his mom, causing her to behave better towards OP.

Now that the boyfriend is home from the hospital, OP has been taking care of him 24/7.

She's not complaining about this since she loves him a lot. Sadly, OP's efforts seem to go unnoticed because her boyfriend has been complaining about everything since they've returned home.

He tells OP that his mom did this or that so much better than she does and questions why she can't do things the way his mom does. He also plays mind games with her when he compliments the food she cooks for him, but sadly, he claims it is not as delicious as his mother's food.

Hearing words like that on a daily basis, of course, chips away at OP's self-worth. Despite caring for him full-time, he keeps telling OP how he wishes his mom were there instead because she wouldn't be as useless as OP.

OP has been incredibly patient with him, even after hearing those words, but he said something that finally made her put a stop to the abuse. OP's boyfriend said his mom was right to claim that OP would never measure up and replace her as the main woman in his life.

To drive the knife in deeper, he said he now regrets distancing himself from his mom when he should have set tougher boundaries with OP instead. Hearing that was the last straw that made OP pack her bags and leave.

She is now staying with her cousin while her ex continues to call her, just to say she was an a**hole for leaving him during his recovery. He also said OP should have called his mother before she left so he would have someone to look after him.

OP replied that he should do that himself because it's not her concern anymore. Her parents also think that she was wrong for leaving him alone and should have called his mom before abandoning him.

Legitimate_Ad3818

Was OP wrong for leaving her recovering boyfriend after enduring verbal insults? Read her full post below:

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"He called and said I'm an AH"

Legitimate_Ad3818

He should just live with his mom since he likes her so much better than OP.

Just-a-Pea

Apparently, once his mom started doting on him, he wanted OP to do the same (as if caring for him 24/7 is not enough).

Legitimate_Ad3818

Yep, he wanted the two women to compete with each other and show him who loves him more.

sylvanwhisper

When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.

jlnbtr

Did the surgery cause this?

Legitimate_Ad3818

Some people sympathized with his recovery but said nothing really changed; he just got really comfortable showing who he was.

Skittycatcher66

This is an opportunity for OP to distance herself far away from this guy.

BooRoWo

Others who have been through the same thing say that post-surgery recovery really does affect a person's mental state.

Careful-Location-872

It takes a while for them to return to their "normal" selves, and they may require professional help to deal with the trauma. However, OP's issues have more to do with the mother-son relationship than being an understanding full-time caregiver.

Prestigious_Dig_218

OP did a wonderful job attending to his needs alone, all hours of the day for weeks (if not months).

GoodGirlsGrace

Her boyfriend could have shown more appreciation for all of her hard work instead of constantly comparing her to his mom.

GoodGirlsGrace

The most ridiculous thing he could have pointed out was this.

Helpful-Internal-486

OP has managed to get away from him; now she has to make sure that she doesn't get back with him.

N7twitch

They forgot the most crucial part of the surgery!

gummery

He repeatedly told OP that she can't hold a candle to his mom until she snapped. Just imagine OP's exhaustion after taking care of him and then hearing those unappreciative words.

I would have given up a lot sooner than OP did after the first few times he started to compare her to his mom. Well, he got what he wished for, and his mom is now caring for him full-time while OP is onto greener pastures.