Reddit Community Gives OP Young Woman Reality Check When She Suspects Her Boyfriend Might Be Stealing From Her

What would you do if you suspected your significant other was stealing from you? Well, that's the exact situation Reddit user u/ThrowRAstealerbf is in, and she recently shared her story in the r/relationship_advice subreddit.

The OP explained that she and her boyfriend started their relationship a year ago, and they quickly moved in together. Within the first month of their living together, the OP's boyfriend lost his job, so things were pretty tough financially.

They made it work, though; the OP never felt the need to hide her credit card from her boyfriend and would happily lend it to him as needed. However, early on, the OP started to notice strange transactions on her account.

The unusual amounts didn't add up, but when she questioned her boyfriend about them, he denied everything. The Redditor let it slide because she wanted to trust her partner, but then she discovered that someone had used her card to withdraw €150 in cash.

The OP says she noticed that her boyfriend also put her card in his Apple Wallet, even though she asked him not to. Now, the OP is questioning whether she can trust her boyfriend and whether he is the one stealing from her.The Redditor says she thinks her boyfriend is stealing from her.

Reddit/ThrowRAstealerbf

The OP explained that she met her boyfriend a year ago, and they quickly moved in together.

Reddit/ThrowRAstealerbf

The first month was difficult because the OP's boyfriend lost his job, but they made it work.

Reddit/ThrowRAstealerbf

Navigating Trust Issues in Relationships

When suspicions about theft arise, it's often indicative of deeper trust issues within the relationship. Dr. Sue Johnson, a renowned couples therapy pioneer, emphasizes, "Trust is the bedrock of any relationship; without it, anxiety and hypervigilance can take over." Dr. Johnson's work highlights the importance of addressing these feelings to restore connection. Furthermore, Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, states, "The foundation of a healthy relationship is built on trust and communication; without these, partners may feel insecure and distressed." You can explore more about her insights on relationships at her professional website.

The OP says she would sometimes lend her credit card to her boyfriend if he needed it.

Reddit/ThrowRAstealerbf

The OP says she started to notice strange transactions on her account.

Reddit/ThrowRAstealerbf

When the OP confronted her boyfriend about the amounts, he denied everything.

Reddit/ThrowRAstealerbf

These trust issues can stem from previous betrayals, creating a cycle of doubt and suspicion. According to Dr. John Gottman, such dynamics often lead to a breakdown in communication and emotional intimacy, which are vital for a healthy relationship.

Understanding these patterns can provide a pathway toward healing and rebuilding trust.

More recently, the OP discovered that someone had used her card to get cash out.

Reddit/ThrowRAstealerbf

The OP also noticed her boyfriend put her card in his Apple Wallet.

Reddit/ThrowRAstealerbf

The OP says she loves her boyfriend, but she's not sure if she can trust him.

Reddit/ThrowRAstealerbf

Practical Steps to Address Trust Issues

To address these suspicions constructively, open and honest communication is crucial. Couples should discuss their feelings of distrust without assigning blame, allowing for a more productive dialogue.

Research shows that couples who engage in transparent communication about their feelings are more likely to resolve conflicts effectively and strengthen their bond.

TLDR

Reddit/ThrowRAstealerbf

Here's how people reacted.

Reddit/CaptainButtFucker

"Who knows what else he's up to?"

Reddit/Vilnius_Nastavnik

Establishing clear boundaries and expectations can also help mitigate feelings of distrust. As noted in various relationship studies, having mutual agreements about finances and personal belongings fosters a sense of security.

Additionally, seeking couples therapy can provide a supportive environment to explore these issues further and develop strategies for rebuilding trust.

"Dump him!"

Reddit/JohannVII

Don't let him get away with this.

Reddit/Flat-Lemon-8043

"Girl, you need to dump him."

Reddit/brillian-soul

Either way, you need to cancel your card.

Reddit/lil_zaku

Who else would it be?

Reddit/AllOutofFs

"You know it's him."

Reddit/Kaboom002

"You're smarter than this."

Reddit/pyrocidal

"You deserve so much better."

Reddit/shan1877

"No point insisting on the truth."

Reddit/deleted

"You know the truth, and you know what you need to do."

Reddit/just1cheekymonkey

He'll keep doing it.

Reddit/Dinancial_Zero_8279

What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP should give her boyfriend the benefit of the doubt, or is she being naive to think it might not be him stealing her money?

We would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Psychological Analysis

This suspicion of theft often reflects underlying trust issues that can erode the foundation of a relationship. It's essential to address these feelings directly and honestly to foster understanding and rebuild trust.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Trust is a vital component of any healthy relationship, and addressing issues of suspicion is crucial for emotional well-being. Research shows that open communication can effectively rebuild trust and foster deeper connections.

As noted in various relationship studies, addressing the underlying issues can lead to significant improvements in relationship satisfaction.