Woman Donates Her Breast Milk Instead of Giving It to Her Neighbor Who Demanded It, Gets Called a Monster and a B*tch

"I really don’t feel comfortable just handing out my breast milk"

Breastfeeding mothers frequently produce more breast milk than is necessary to feed their infants, which raises the issue of what to do with the excess—especially in light of a shortage of infant formula. Donating your breast milk to a human milk bank can be a solution.

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A milk bank is a place where people who have expressed and stored surplus milk can donate it. In addition to being free and simple, it can also save the lives of newborns who are in need.

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As we pointed out earlier, donations of breast milk are primarily used in hospitals to nourish preterm and ill infants. The narrator of today's story is currently undergoing the process of donating her breast milk to a “milk” bank.

She held a barbecue to celebrate her oldest child’s birthday. This is where she revealed that she was very concerned for the NICUs and pediatric ICUs, and since she was still lactating and had an abundance of breast milk left over, she decided she would try to donate to them.

One of the OP's neighbors just had a baby who is about 3 months old now, and she started hinting that the OP should give her some of her milk production. The OP refused, and you can find out her reasons as you read the full story below.

The story's title

The story's titleReddit/iopuytre
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OP's second child is no longer interested in breastfeeding

OP's second child is no longer interested in breastfeedingReddit/iopuytre
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OP received a text from her neighbor asking if she could give her a few bags of breast milk

OP received a text from her neighbor asking if she could give her a few bags of breast milkReddit/iopuytre

The Ethics of Breast Milk Donation

The decision to donate breast milk is complex and can evoke strong emotional responses. From a psychological perspective, the act of sharing something so personal can be intertwined with feelings of vulnerability and ownership. Research in maternal and child health emphasizes that women often have strong emotional connections to their breastfeeding experiences. As reported in the NIH, many mothers view their milk as an extension of themselves, complicating the dynamics of sharing it with others.

Here are a bunch of the most upvoted comments from other redditors in response to the reddit post

Here are a bunch of the most upvoted comments from other redditors in response to the reddit postReddit/iopuytre

The OP can do whatever she wants with her breast milk

The OP can do whatever she wants with her breast milkReddit/iopuytre

The neighbor's child is not the OP's responsibility

The neighbor's child is not the OP's responsibilityReddit/iopuytre

Furthermore, the demand from the neighbor may reflect a lack of understanding or respect for personal boundaries. Studies in social psychology highlight how boundary violations can lead to feelings of resentment and conflict. When individuals feel entitled to something that belongs to another, it can create significant relational strain, as seen in this situation.

OP's neighbor is acting crazy and entitled

OP's neighbor is acting crazy and entitledReddit/iopuytre

The OP should save the screenshots of her blackmail

The OP should save the screenshots of her blackmailReddit/iopuytre

She seems to be able to afford the formula

She seems to be able to afford the formulaReddit/iopuytre

Navigating Personal Boundaries with Grace

To avoid conflict surrounding personal boundaries, clear communication is crucial. Techniques such as assertive communication allow individuals to express their needs and limits without hostility. According to Dr. Susan David, an emotional agility expert, “Being able to communicate assertively is key to maintaining healthy relationships, as it encourages mutual respect and understanding.” Furthermore, the importance of assertive communication is echoed by Dr. Daniel Goleman, who states, “Effective communication fosters emotional intelligence, which is essential for nurturing strong interpersonal connections.”

She can try to contact the organization

She can try to contact the organizationReddit/iopuytre

It's the OP's body and it's her milk

It's the OP's body and it's her milkReddit/iopuytre

She'll blame the OP if her child gets sick

She'll blame the OP if her child gets sickReddit/iopuytre

Additionally, educating others about the significance of breast milk and its donation can foster empathy and understanding. Providing information about the emotional and physical aspects of breastfeeding can help others appreciate the complexities involved. Community programs that focus on breastfeeding education can promote greater awareness and respect for personal choices.

The point is to donate to people who can't afford to feed their children

The point is to donate to people who can't afford to feed their childrenReddit/iopuytre

Many people share breast milk to help out friends

Many people share breast milk to help out friendsReddit/iopuytre

It is completely laughable to this OP

It is completely laughable to this OPReddit/iopuytre

The Emotional Toll of Judgment and Criticism

Being labeled a 'monster' or a 'b*tch' can have a profound impact on an individual's mental health. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, emphasizes that "negative labels can lead to internalized shame and decreased self-esteem, particularly among new mothers," which can be detrimental to their well-being. The stigma surrounding motherhood and breastfeeding can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and guilt, as noted on her professional website, drramani.com. Such experiences highlight the importance of supportive communities for new mothers to combat these harmful perceptions.

The OP is doing things through the proper channels

The OP is doing things through the proper channelsReddit/iopuytre

Her reaction was over the top

Her reaction was over the topReddit/iopuytre

Keeping the message and not responding

Keeping the message and not respondingReddit/iopuytre

It’s essential for individuals to build resilience against such negative feedback. Techniques like mindfulness and self-compassion can help mitigate the emotional effects of criticism. Research suggests that practicing self-kindness can buffer against the adverse effects of social judgment, fostering a healthier self-image in the face of external pressures.

She'd blame the OP if her child got sick

She'd blame the OP if her child got sickReddit/iopuytre

Peer-to-peer milk donation can be dangerous

Peer-to-peer milk donation can be dangerousReddit/iopuytre

Kudos to the OP for donating

Kudos to the OP for donatingReddit/iopuytre

The OP added this update later on

The OP added this update later onReddit/iopuytre

How many babies died because they weren’t getting the correct nutritional value?

How many babies died because they weren’t getting the correct nutritional value?Reddit/iopuytre

Breast milk donations are typically given preference to newborns who are premature or ill and would benefit the most from human milk. This may be the case for people who solely pump or for parents who have an excess of milk because they frequently produce more than is necessary to feed their infants.

Redditors declared the OP not the AH, and you can drop your own thoughts in the comments section below.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates how personal boundaries can become contentious, especially regarding something as intimate as breast milk. The emotional weight of such decisions demands sensitivity and understanding from all parties involved. Encouraging open dialogue can help alleviate tensions and promote healthier relationships.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, the emotional complexities surrounding breast milk donation highlight the need for empathy and understanding in interpersonal relationships. Clear communication and education can help navigate these sensitive situations, fostering healthier interactions. Building resilience against criticism is crucial for maintaining self-esteem and emotional well-being.

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