Family’s Breastfeeding “Rules” Spark Drama Before Vacation

Breastfeeding in public or around family gatherings can sometimes lead to uncomfortable situations. While many see it as a natural and necessary part of caring for an infant, not everyone reacts with the same level of acceptance. This often creates tension for new mothers, especially when relatives or in-laws set expectations that clash with a parent’s needs or values.

In one situation, the OP, a mother of four, including a three-month-old baby, faced this very challenge. During a family lunch for her brother-in-law’s birthday, her baby became fussy, and OP spent most of the meal walking outside until the child settled.

When she returned to nurse, her in-laws abruptly left the restaurant. OP ended up leaving without eating, feeling pushed aside as she tended to her baby’s needs.

The issue resurfaced when a family beach trip was planned. OP hesitated about attending, worried her in-laws disapproved of nursing in shared spaces. Her concerns were confirmed when her husband spoke with his parents, who revealed the family had decided she could only nurse in the bedroom during the vacation.

OP felt excluded and hurt, since this would isolate her from her other children and family activities. Her husband, however, believed she should comply and warned that he would resent her if she refused to do so. OP now questions whether she is wrong for considering not going on the trip.

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"People need to stop sexualizing breastfeeding! "

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OP is not wrong.

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"OP's husband needs to grow a pair."

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That is a completely unreasonable ask.

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OP can nurse her baby anywhere.

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OP's husband cares more about his family's feelings than hers.

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"What a childish thing for them to do."

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OP shouldn't go on a vacation.

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He should support OP.

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OP’s concerns are completely valid. Breastfeeding is a basic need, not an optional activity, and asking a mother to isolate while nursing is both unfair and alienating.

Family gatherings should reflect the realities of caring for a baby, not create rules that separate a parent from the group. While relatives may have personal preferences, those should never take precedence over an infant’s needs or a mother’s right to care for her child.

Choosing not to attend under such restrictive conditions is a reasonable and understandable decision.