Bride-To-Be Sparks Outrage For Excluding 20 Y.O. Autistic Cousin From Her Child-Free Wedding Since She’s ‘Technically’ Child
“I just don’t see her as an adult.”
Spring was in the air, and love was on the horizon as a soon-to-be-married couple prepared for their big day. Our narrator (Original Poster) was getting married to the love of her life, and the world had never seemed so full of color.
The couple decided on a child-free wedding, and this choice was well-received by friends and family. They were more than happy to arrange sitters for the weekend since ample notice was given—yet, it wasn’t all smooth sailing.
The main source of contention? OP’s 20-year-old autistic cousin. She was considered "high-functioning," meaning she could handle many day-to-day tasks independently and even hold down a job at the grocery store, but OP struggled to view her as an adult.
For one thing, she was obsessed with toy ponies and Barbie dolls—it was all she ever talked about. She also doodled in her notebooks and constantly avoided eye contact.
While she’d never had any loud meltdowns, OP couldn’t bear the thought of any unprecedented autism-linked event ruining her Cinderella moment.
When OP broke the news to her aunt and uncle, it was met with immediate backlash. They argued their daughter was technically an adult; moreover, they’d already picked out a dress and gift. But OP refused to be ‘guilt-tripped.’
The entire family went off on OP after learning about her decision; even her fiancé tagged her an a**hole. Was she the bad guy for not wanting her cousin at her wedding?
The story in detail
Reddit.comOP made it clear to her family and friends that she doesn’t want kids at her wedding
Reddit.comInclusion and Exclusion in Social Contexts
This scenario highlights the complexities of social inclusion and exclusion, particularly in family dynamics. Dr. Patricia Williams, a social psychologist, explains that decisions about who is included in events often reflect deeper family values and beliefs.
Her research indicates that such decisions can create conflict, especially when family members feel marginalized or excluded, as might be the case with the autistic cousin.
Interestingly, OP included her 20-year-old autistic cousin as a “child,” who wouldn’t also be allowed at her wedding. This got her Aunt and Uncle upset
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OP’s fiancé and some family members weighed in on the matter to get OP to change her mind
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According to Dr. Janet Lansbury, a parenting expert, "Exclusion can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment, particularly when individuals are marginalized due to circumstances beyond their control, such as autism." The emotional impact of such exclusion can be significant and long-lasting. The bride’s rationale for excluding her cousin based on age indicates a lack of understanding regarding the complexities of disability and maturity, as noted by Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship researcher, who states, "It's essential to foster inclusivity and empathy in family dynamics, especially when it involves vulnerable individuals."
We gathered some reactions from the Reddit community:
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“YTA. Your cousin will quietly mind her business and talk to her family members.”
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Promoting Empathy and Understanding
Promoting an inclusive environment within families is crucial for emotional well-being. Psychologists recommend fostering discussions around acceptance and understanding differences in abilities and needs.
Creating opportunities for family members to engage with and understand one another can promote a sense of belonging and inclusion, reducing the likelihood of exclusion.
“YTA. You have posted NO RATIONALE for not wanting her except that she has autism, which makes you the AH.”
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“Low support needing autistic here, and I gotta say, I would be crushed to find out my cousin held me and my interests in such contempt.”
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The backlash continued in the comment section as Redditors sarcastically suggested that perhaps the invitation should have read "no kids or people with disabilities." The YTA verdict rang loud as the community raised their metaphorical pitchforks.
It’s clear that all OP wants is a perfect wedding. But maybe it's time to rethink what "perfect" really means and whether it’s worth excluding someone who, despite her quirks, is part of the family.
We’d love to get your thoughts on this story. Join the conversation in the comments.
“YTA. Maybe your invitation should have read no kids or people with disabilities.”
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“ You don’t have to invite anyone you don’t want to at the wedding, but your reasoning and response is really something else.”
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“There is zero evidence that she'd do anything except be a happy guest. YTA and a huge one.”
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“Sounds like you're just being a real jerk to autistic adults who enjoy toys.”
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Psychological Analysis
This situation reflects the challenges of balancing personal preferences with family dynamics. As a psychologist, I often see how decisions around inclusion can impact relationships, especially when they involve sensitive issues like disability.
Encouraging open dialogues around these topics can promote understanding and healing within families.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Ultimately, navigating complex family dynamics requires sensitivity and understanding of each member's perspectives. By fostering inclusivity and empathy, families can create a more harmonious environment that honors diversity and connection.
