Bride Seeks Perfect Cupcakes For Wedding: AITA For Multiple Reorders

Are you the AH for expecting perfection from a bake shop for your wedding cupcakes? The Reddit thread delves into the drama of a bride who ordered 120 cupcakes for her untraditional wedding, only to find them consistently wrong.

The OP detailed her specific request for vanilla cupcakes with an ombré frosting, but the bake shop couldn't grasp the concept. Despite multiple attempts to get it right, the final outcome fell short of her expectations.

The post stirred up a storm of conflicting opinions, with some calling her out for lack of clarity in her instructions and others criticizing her for not providing a reference photo initially. The thread's top comments dissect the situation, questioning the OP's communication skills and decision-making process, ultimately labeling her as the AH in the situation.

The debate rages on about the OP's handling of the bakery mishap, her expectations, and the price she paid for the cupcakes. Dive into the heated discussion to unravel the verdict on whether the OP was justified in her demands or if she was in the wrong for being too particular about her wedding treats.

Original Post

I (f29) got married to my partner of three years (m28) last weekend. We wanted our wedding to be untraditional, and we had decided we wanted tiers of cupcakes rather than a normal wedding cake.We married on a Friday, and on the previous Wednesday morning, I went to a local bake shop to pick up my order of 120 cupcakes. I had specified that they were all to be vanilla cupcakes with white frosting in the center that would ombré into the outlines of the cupcakes' frosting which would be black.When I arrived on Wednesday at 7:30 AM, I found that they were nothing like I had ordered. I asked why the frosting on top was completely black, and they said that the cupcakes were filled with white frosting *inside* and topped with black frosting.I explained how it wasn't what I asked for, and the worker (a probably 70-year-old woman) agreed to have my order redone by that afternoon, except I'd still have to pay part of the price of the first cupcakes since my "directions were unclear." I reluctantly payed and then came back at 4:30 to yet again find cupcakes that were NOT how I asked. There was no ombré design at all; just a white circle in the middle surrounded by a chunky black outline.I pulled up a picture on my phone of how I had wanted them to look, and to my surprise, some of the workers there were kind enough to stay at work late to fix my order (and this time I didn't have to pay). I assumed they would bake the cupcakes then and call me in the morning, so I was again surprised when they called me that same day at 6:00 to tell me my order was fixed.When I got there, the cupcakes were finally pretty much just as I had imagined them. I asked how they got them done so quickly, and to my shock the said they literally scraped the frosting off the old ones and redid the frosting."I hope that's okay" says the same 70-year-old lady as earlier (she should've said that they'd do that BEFORE she "fixed" them). Upon further examination, I noticed that there were obvious imperfections in many of the cupcakes, and you could see staining from the original layer of frosting.I did not accept these cupcakes and yet I was told I had to pay FULL PRICE for them because of all the trouble I supposedly caused the workers. I asked if I could talk to the manager about my situation (I promise I'm not a Karen), and lo and behold, I was already talking to her, the 70-year-old woman.I had nothing else to do but pay nearly $200 for nothing. The next day I found a different bake shop and they completed my order properly first try like any normal bake shop would be expected to do.AITA for not just accepting them from the first bake shop? Edit: a lot of people commenting still don't understand what I wanted the cupcakes to look like.This is the photo I sent for reference (it doesn't look great because I had to edit a picture of a plain white-frosted cupcake since I couldn't find any pictures online of what I wanted): So basically, all the cupcakes had completely flat frosting with white in the center fading to black on the outside. I thought that made sense but nobody that I saw comment thought anything like this.Edit #2: apparently this post was voted "not enough info," and since I keep getting the same questions I'll just put a short FAQ right here: Edit #3: adding another FAQ **Did you show the second bake shop the reference photo?** Yes. **Do you have a photo of how the actual cupcakes turned out?** I only have photos of them among other food where they can't be seen well.I'm not comfortable sharing them here because I posted them on social media, and I don't want anyone using google image search to find me. **What were the exact directions you told the first bake shop the first time?** 120 vanilla cupcakes with white and black vanilla frosting in an ombré pattern with the white in the middle and black on the outside.**Did the cupcakes turn out exactly like the reference photo? They look like an a\*\*hole.** No, and I didn't want them to.I'm not at all an artist of any sort and I didn't know how to give the ombré effect, but I explained that I wanted the colors to fade better. **How did you get 120 cupcakes for only $200?** The first bake shop I went to had three sizes of cupcakes (the largest size were standard cupcakes but I didn't realize that "medium" was actually smaller than normal, so I ended up paying for 120 "medium" small cupcakes).I ended up paying about $310 for 120 cupcakes at the second bake shop because they were a normal size.

Understanding Perfectionism and Its Effects

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Similarly, it’s important to recognize the value of feedback in creative processes.

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The Role of Self-Compassion in Reducing Stress

Practicing self-compassion can significantly reduce the negative effects of perfectionism.

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Ultimately, redefining success can lead to greater satisfaction in personal endeavors.

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We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

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Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the tension between personal expectations and creative freedom.

When individuals feel pressured to achieve perfection, it can stifle their creativity and enjoyment. Encouraging a mindset that values the process over perfection can lead to more satisfying outcomes.

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Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, understanding the implications of perfectionism is crucial for personal and professional success.

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Ultimately, redefining what it means to be successful can lead to a more fulfilling and less stressful creative process.