Teenager Wants To Know If She's Wrong For Not Wanting Family To Attend Her Graduation Because They Skipped Her Brother's
"It still doesn't mean I have to want them there"
Graduation Day is the happily-ever-after that the public has been longing for in teen films. It's the grand finale, the culmination of years of arduous labor.
Additionally, there are instances in which the movie's excitement and adventures are sparked by the events leading up to graduation. In real life, however, graduation can feel very different.
It's hard to finish college, career school, or high school, so your achievements and hard work are worthy of recognition. How better to accomplish that than with a ceremony honoring your achievements?
Your friends and family are your largest source of support. They have supported you along every step of the way—the highs and lows, the late-night study sessions, and the enjoyable events you might have had to forgo in order to complete a paper or prepare for a test.
They use your graduation as a significant opportunity to express their happiness. The graduation ceremony offers them the chance to let you know how proud they are of all your hard work.
In today's story, OP's family was excited to come to her graduation ceremony, but she didn't want them around. Naturally, you would want to know why.
Well, OP's brother already had his own graduation ceremony, and the family members missed it. They're not to blame, though, as her brother's graduation date was moved three days earlier.
Now it's OP's turn, and she doesn't want them around because she feels her brother will be hurt.
The headline
Reddit/UnlikelyAd8799The brother's graduation date got moved three days earlier than what it was
Reddit/UnlikelyAd8799Exploring Feelings of Resentment
The teenager's reluctance to have her family present at her graduation highlights feelings of resentment that can arise from perceived neglect. Research indicates that social comparison often leads to feelings of inadequacy and disappointment, particularly when individuals feel overlooked.
According to Dr. Leon Festinger’s social comparison theory, individuals often assess their own worth based on how they perceive others are treated, leading to feelings of hurt when they perceive inequality.
The OP would rather the family just come to her graduation dinner
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The OP doesn't want them at her graduation because she feels guilty
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:
I don't want my family to come to my graduation because they didn't come to my brother's. My dad is telling me that I'm trying to punish them for something they didn't anticipate, but I don't feel that's what I'm doing.Despite my brother not talking about it anymore, his demeanor always changes whenever someone brings up my graduation, and I don't want him to feel sad on my graduation day, nor do I want to feel guilt from their presence.And the comments roll in...
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It is disappointing nonetheless
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Family dynamics often play a crucial role in shaping individual identities and perceptions of fairness. Studies show that unresolved conflicts within families can lead to long-lasting emotional scars, affecting how members interact with each other.
This suggests that the teenager's decision to exclude her family may be a form of self-protection against further emotional harm.
The OP can't go back to the past
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This Redditor is more focused on other things in their lives
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The Role of Validation in Relationships
Validation is a crucial component of healthy relationships, as outlined by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication model. When individuals feel invalidated, it can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment, as seen in this scenario.
Encouraging family members to acknowledge each other’s feelings can help foster a supportive environment where everyone feels valued.
It sounds like they really didn't do anything wrong
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OP's brother just got the bad luck of a rescheduled date
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Research suggests that open communication about feelings can significantly improve family relationships. Establishing a family dialogue about past grievances can help members understand each other’s perspectives and foster reconciliation.
Facilitating these discussions in a safe and respectful manner is essential for healing and rebuilding trust.
The OP doesn't want them there
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There are commitments that people make
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According to the OP, her brother says that he appreciates what she's trying to do, but he doesn't want her decision to be based on him or anything related. The OP told him that it wasn't so, and that when she informs the family of her decision, she's not going to bring him up in any way.
So if they do get mad, they'll only be mad at the OP, but her brother still didn't really like that. It's all up to the OP to decide, as she was declared not the AH.
Psychological Analysis
This teenager's feelings of anger and resentment are understandable given her family's past behavior. It's essential for her to express her needs and boundaries clearly, which can lead to healthier family interactions.
Encouraging her family to acknowledge her feelings could help pave the way for reconciliation and support at her graduation.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
The intricate dynamics of family relationships often shape individual responses to perceived neglect.
Understanding the importance of validation and open communication can assist in healing familial rifts and improving relational health.
