Hobby Baker Ghosts Her Brother On His Wedding Day After He Reneged On Their Deal And Refused To Pay Her For A 3-Tier Wedding Cake

I am not a lousy cook, but I am an awful baker. The latter requires precision and dedication, which I lack, so everything related to baking feels like alchemy to me.

It's also a pricey hobby to take up, which is why I'm grateful to my family and friends who deem me worthy of their creations. This Reddit baker feels the same; it's her passion, but she chose not to monetize it.

She often bakes for family and friends for their special events but never charges them. They do pay her back through gift cards from her favorite restaurants, a homemade dish, or cash when they are able to.

OP's brother was aware of this arrangement and asked OP to bake his wedding cake. He and his fiancée asked OP months in advance if she could make them a three-layer strawberry shortcake sufficient for 75 people.

OP knew this would be a challenge, as it was her biggest order yet. She hesitantly agreed as long as they compensated her.

It is a large cake that will definitely cost a lot of time and money to make. They agreed to pay OP $400 before the wedding.

OP sketched a few designs for them to approve and made a small cake for them to try, which they loved. Fast forward to six days before the wedding, OP had to really start procuring the ingredients for the wedding cake.

She called her brother to remind him of their terms, and he told her he would drop off the check the following day.

u/ilovebaking22

He didn't show up, so OP offered to drive to their house to pick up the money herself, but they made an excuse.

u/ilovebaking22

She tried again the day before the wedding. The happy couple was unhappy and yelled at OP for charging them when it wasn't the case for everyone else.

u/ilovebaking22

Negotiation and Relationships

The situation involving the wedding cake reveals deeper issues around negotiation and familial expectations. Dr. Mark Ellis, a conflict resolution expert, notes that many family disputes arise from miscommunication and unrealistic expectations.

When one party feels wronged, as in this case, it can quickly escalate into conflict, overshadowing the original intent of collaboration.

They said they didn't want to pay but demanded that OP make the cake anyway.

u/ilovebaking22

They called OP a selfish a**hole when she refused and tried to make her bake the cake once more.

OP said no and chose not to show up to the wedding the following day because of their awful attitudes. Essentially, no one is on OP's side, but was she really the a**hole for reinforcing the terms of their initial agreement?

u/ilovebaking22

OP's brother and her sister-in-law are so entitled, and it looks like they deserve each other.

Witty_Reporter_9912, ilovebaking22

Research by Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, emphasizes that "effective negotiation hinges on clarity and mutual respect, particularly in emotionally charged situations." When family members resort to guilt and name-calling, it can severely undermine the potential for resolution, leading to long-lasting rifts. As Dr. Solomon notes, "Navigating family dynamics requires understanding the emotional landscape," which can help families address these challenges more effectively.

It's safe to say that they never planned on paying OP, not even a dime.

SolarPerfume

OP said she wouldn't be short on time if they did pay her on the day before the wedding because she planned to make it with that timing anyway.

ilovebaking22

According to another baker, OP was right to bake it just before, but since they didn't pay her, we don't need to worry about the hypothetical.

Goda6511

Creating Healthy Boundaries

Establishing clear boundaries is essential in family negotiations. Experts recommend that individuals articulate their limits and expectations upfront to prevent misunderstandings.

By setting boundaries, family members can foster healthier interactions, minimizing the likelihood of conflict.

Encouraging open discussions about expectations can also help clarify each person’s role and responsibilities within the family.

Those who are calling OP an a**hole for not baking the cake should be the first ones to offer to buy or bake the cake.

mdthomas

It wasn't exactly a small wedding they wanted OP to feed. The cost of ingredients alone is enough to make the bride and groom the a**holes in this situation.

PampaManda_2021, Ok-Penalty7568

Even experienced bakers are siding with OP because they know how complex a 3-tier wedding cake is.

AdChemical1663

Plus, a whole day of labor and utilities, OP was severely undercharging them at $400.

AdChemical1663

OP did a really great job standing up for herself and sticking to her boundaries.

UsuallyWrite2

They played OP and thought she would just go along with whatever they wanted. She should consider limiting her contact with her brother and new sister-in-law.

DbasedNYC

They didn't know how good of a deal OP gave them.

Sashi-Dice, DbasedNYC

In their narrative, OP will remain the villain of their otherwise perfect wedding day. At least Reddit and OP know the truth about what happened.

It sucks that nobody else stood up for her, but it looks like our favorite baker doesn't need their help anyway. OP can bake the strawberry shortcake and eat it too.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the complexities of family negotiations, particularly around emotional issues. Miscommunication can easily lead to conflict, especially when expectations are not clearly articulated.

By fostering open dialogue and setting boundaries, families can navigate these challenges more effectively.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, understanding negotiation dynamics within family relationships is crucial for fostering healthy communication. As Dr. William Doherty, family therapist, states, "Clear boundaries and open discussions about expectations can significantly improve family interactions." By addressing expectations openly, families can prevent conflicts and promote understanding, aligning with the insights shared by Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis, marriage therapist, who emphasizes that "healthy communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship."