Name Calling Ensues As Man Wants His GF To Pay Her Share Of His Car Expenses

For many people, driving is treated as a milestone of independence—something so ordinary it fades into the background of adult life. But when chronic illness makes a driver’s license impossible, that assumption quietly falls apart.

OP's fiancée can’t drive, not because of fear or choice, but because her body has set limits the system doesn’t bend for. That reality reshapes more than their transportation plans; it touches their sense of autonomy, fairness, and partnership.

They have been together for 7 years, and the OP has been the solo driver for all of these 7 years. Never once has he asked her to pay for fuel, insurance, upkeep, or repairs.

Mind you, his girlfriend is from a well-off family and gets financial help from her parents, while the OP has to work and pay for everything out of his own pocket since his parents can't afford to help him out.

OP's GF just finished her masters and started working her first job. Since there's no public transportation, the OP gets up 2 hours before he regularly has to, and drives her to work - it's around 45 minutes each way.

OP had to change his insurance policy to include the extra distance driven, and his rate has shot up by 70% due to this. After an extensive math calculation, they had a verbal agreement that she'd pay for 75% of the monthly fuel costs, but guess who doesn't want to keep to this agreement?

Read the full story below and find out

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This is entirely reasonable

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It was basically expected of the OP

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And finally...

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I feel like I might be the AH because I expect her to pay me out of her own pocket and didn't give her an option to come to another agreement with me.

The reddit post got more than a thousand comments and here are some of them

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The OP can stop driving her

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The OP should run from the inlaws

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The OP's not in the US

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"Her illness is her problem, she should've adapted way earlier" and the OP replied saying...

Yes and no. Yes, she's the one who needs to adapt. No, it's not that easy. She never got her license because she never needed to (public transport here is ok compared to the rest of the world), and she was on her way to get hers. Then, she fell sick with a neurological condition in 2022. Unfortunately, the long term damage it has left was Epilepsy. We have the seizures under control with meds, but as per the law, she's banned from driving until she's had no seizures on record for at least 5 years. That's still 4.5 years out. I played a vital part in her even surviving the sickness, so I feel kind of responsible for helping her adapt. Part of that adaptation is working a normal job and getting there.

And the comments continues...

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Taking an uber

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The OP can't afford it

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She's not a partner

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The OP says that they did come to an agreement, and they are still together. He also mentioned that he has been on Reddit for around 14 years now, and he knows that most people immediately jump to "red flag, break up," but that's not how it works.

They have had much bigger fights and have been together for close to 8 years, so it's worth fighting for. In the end, the OP was declared not the AH.