30 People Share The Awful Things They Did As Children And Now Regret
"I didn't realize he was calling to say goodbye"
Childhood is a beautiful period in our lives, we will always cherish memories from that period. And those are among the best ones.
Family gatherings for holidays and trips are just a few of them. But doubtless, we also remember the happiness we felt for getting our first pet or a favorite toy.
Or the first summer break we spent with grandparents without our parents. Oh God, there are so many of them, we can talk about it indefinitely.
But being a child is not all about happiness, it is also a period when we decide what kind of people we want to be. So we have to admit that there are childhood memories that we are not so proud of.
Even though we were kids and didn't think much about our actions, some of them still managed to find a way to bother us as adults also. Recently, a Reddit user asked people about those actions we still feel ashamed of.
"What’s a terrible thing you did as a child that you really feel bad about as an adult?" and made many people think about their youth.
Here, we have gathered some of the most sincere responses people have shared as the greatest remorse from their childhood.
The original question:
reddit1. "Fortunately, one of the high school boys caught him when the kid finally lost his grip."
"Back when I was a kid in the 60s, playground safety didn't exist. We had this aluminum slide in the communal playground that was surrounded by concrete. One day, when I was about 8 or 9, I noticed a lot of commotion at the slide.There was a boy, about two or three, who was next to slide but was refusing. There was a line of kids behind him, yelling at him to go but he just wouldn't move.I got tired of the yelling so I made all the kids move, climbed up to him, and tried to lift him to either slide him down or carry him down, whatever would work. He refused to let me lift him, and instead, climbed over the side of the slide so that he was hanging by his hands.It was a long drop (at least 6 to 8 feet) down to the concrete below. I tried pulling him up, but he was too heavy.I and all the other kids panicked and ran to the other side of the playground, leaving him to his fate. Fortunately, one of the high school boys playing football beside the playground noticed the kid dangling and jumped the playground fence and caught him when the kid finally lost his grip.The high school boy yelled at us for not helping him, and I felt a mix of anger and shame that even today I still think about sometimes."
reddit2. They scared the girl and caused her trauma
"When I was in middle school, my girlfriend at the time had a little mother in law cottage in their backyard that they used to rent out to local college students. They were remodeling the only bathroom in there over a few months, so while it was vacant she'd hang out with her girlfriends in there all night on weekends.And inevitably somebody would need to use the bathroom, which would require them to walk through the backyard to the main house. I thought it would be hilarious if me and a few friends, instead of straight showing up, hid in the bushes with our t-shirts tied over our face like ninja masks, and jump out to jump scare them on the way to the bathroom.So it's pitch black, we are waiting in the bushes by the entrance to the actual house, and a victim finally decides to make a trip to the bathroom. We all jump out at once and rush her friend, who then immediately collapses onto the floor, sobbing, and s******g/pissing herself.Apparently she had been kidnapped by her biological father and his friends as a child, who more or less did the same thing in a similar fashion. And I didn't even know that until many years later, for years I thought she was just embarrassed that she crapped her pants.What was 100% a 14 year old's innocent idea to jump scare my girlfriend's group of friends turned into a nightmare of resurfaced trauma and embarrassment among her peers for a young girl. I still feel f*****g horrible for it to this day."
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The Weight of Regret
Regret is a powerful emotion that can shape our self-perception and future decisions. According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, "Regret can illuminate our values and guide us towards better choices in the future." This emotional response can lead to a deeper understanding of one’s motivations and principles, allowing individuals to align their future actions with their core beliefs. Interestingly, Dr. Durvasula notes that "when we reflect on our regrets, we often uncover patterns that help us avoid similar pitfalls," suggesting that those who actively engage with their feelings of regret tend to make more informed decisions moving forward.
The Psychology of Regret
Dr. Laura Jensen, a behavioral psychologist, explains that feelings of regret often stem from our ability to imagine alternative outcomes.
This phenomenon, known as counterfactual thinking, allows individuals to reflect on 'what could have been,' which can lead to feelings of guilt or disappointment.
3. "I tricked a kid out of seconds at lunch."
"He looked so sad when he asked why I would do that. School bully came up and told me I was an a*****e because the kids parents didn't feed him.I think about that alot and it was almost 40 years ago."
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4. "What kind of person wears tennis shoes to a sale barn?"
"When I was 13-14 I was at a sale barn auction for cattle. All of us young teens would help herd cattle down the lanes and thought we were hot stuff.At a cattle sale we all wore boots and jeans because cows c**p anywhere they want. There was some girl there that evening that was hanging out with us.I noticed she was very cautious of where she stepped and refused to walk in the middle of the lanes because of the mud/poop. She had a newish pair of tennis shoes on.I said something along the lines of "what kind of person wears tennis shoes to a sale barn?" She got really quiet and said "they're the only ones I have".I shot back and said "well thats just stupid." Over 15 years later I still hurt in my heart for what I said.Can't believe I made fun of a girl that wanted to hang out with us and didn't have more than one pair of shoes."
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5. "Once I tied a kid to a lamppost with a jump rope and just left. I feel bad about that every couple of months"
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One interesting aspect of childhood behavior is how it reflects the developing self-concept. Children are not only learning about the world around them but also about who they are within it. According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, children as young as six begin to differentiate between their own desires and the expectations of others.
This cognitive development is critical because it lays the groundwork for the moral reasoning that often frames future regrets. As children navigate social interactions, they start to understand the consequences of their actions on others, which is a pivotal step in their emotional and social development.
Research from the American Psychological Association indicates that regret is a common emotional response to past actions, particularly when individuals perceive that they have made choices contrary to their values or ethics.
Understanding this emotional response can help individuals process their experiences and develop coping strategies.
6. "They laughed their asses off"
"When I was six (in the early 80’s for clarity) I caused a clog in the toilet from pooping that backed up somehow into the furnace room and sewage came out of the drain in the furnace room, it was a total mess and plumbers galore came and my parents were so upset (not at me just the situation) but it embarrassed me so much and I was so afraid of it happening again, until I was like 12 and old enough to realize I was being dumb about it I snuck outside at night to poop in various bushes around the house.Years later as an adult my parents mentioned they thought they had a homeless problem in the neighborhood at one time because they kept finding dried human feces when doing yard work. I guiltily confessed and they laughed their asses off but my Mom said she (only half-jokingly) would have killed me if she’d caught me doing it at the time."
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7. It's the cartoon's fault, not his
"I filled my hand with black pepper and blew it into my mom and sister's faces in the middle of a nice restaurant because I thought it would just make them sneeze like in the cartoons. Their faces turned bright red, eyes watering and my sister started loudly crying.I was left alone in at the table with everyone looking at me and wondering that the hell just happened."
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8. "Giving a hate letter in middle school to a teacher (who btw looked quite depressed) because my, at the time friend, hated him. I feel so bad about that to this day."
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Understanding Childhood Regret
Psychologist Dr. Dan Siegel emphasizes that the development of empathy is crucial during childhood, as it allows children to consider the feelings of others when reflecting on their actions. He states, "Empathy is a fundamental skill that helps children navigate their relationships and understand the impact of their actions on others." Studies indicate that children who engage in empathetic play, such as role-playing scenarios, develop a stronger sense of social responsibility and moral judgment. Furthermore, Dr. Janet Lansbury notes, "When we encourage children to empathize, we are equipping them with the tools to make thoughtful decisions, ultimately reducing the chances of regretful actions in their future." This suggests that fostering empathy can be instrumental in shaping better decision-making frameworks that children can carry into their adult lives.
Coping with Childhood Regrets
Many people carry childhood regrets into adulthood, which can impact self-esteem and relationships.
Psychologists suggest that this is often a result of internalizing societal expectations and the fear of judgment, causing individuals to feel burdened by their past actions.
9. "Young me just thought it was a lark!"
"When I was about 16 (about 1979), I learned how to rip off cigarette machines. They used to have 'em where you'd put your 75 cents in and pull a long handle out, under whatever brand of smokes you wanted, push it back in, and the cigarettes would come out in a tray at the bottom of the machine.Come to find out, it's not hard to defeat these. Well, there's probably 20 different brands in a machine, and maybe 10 packs of each brand in there.I didn't just rip off a pack of Marlboros. No, I boosted 'em all.Virginia Slims, Newports, Salems, Camels, Winstons and whatever else was in there. Me and all my friends were smoking like a tar kettle.I was in the gas station where I did that when the guy who owned the machine came to refill it. He saw what happened and was, understandably, totally pissed.Older me realizes that doing that was an actual crime and makes me a d**k petty criminal. Young me just thought it was a lark!"
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10. Making fun of his dad's poor English
"When I was 6 I made fun of the fact my dad didn't know how to speak English when he first came to the United States little did i know just how hard he worked to give me and my sister the life he always wanted. I still feel horrible to this day"
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11. "I confronted Leon and asked him are you gay?"
"So back in junior high one of my classmates Chris told me that his friend Leon asked him out. Me being young and ignorant didn’t believe this to be true so I confronted Leon and asked him are you gay?Leon replied “Who told you this?” I told him Chris did.He turned white and I didn’t see him throughout the whole day. I heard ambulances but didn’t think much of it.He came back a couple of days later. Told me that the rumor wasn’t true but was noticeably hostile towards me for the rest of the school year.Fast forward 5 years I then found out through mutual friends that he was actually gay and after I confronted him he went to the top of the school building intended to jump. Thank God he didn’t.Still feel bad to this day."
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Regret can also manifest through the lens of attachment theory, as discussed by renowned psychologist Dr. John Bowlby. His foundational work illustrates how early relationships with caregivers influence emotional responses throughout life, including feelings of regret.
Children who experience inconsistent caregiving may develop anxiety around their relationships, leading them to make impulsive decisions to seek approval or avoid conflict. Research shows that these patterns can persist into adulthood, resulting in a cycle of regret related to interpersonal relationships. Understanding this connection can provide valuable insights for individuals looking to break free from these patterns, emphasizing the importance of secure attachments and healthy relationship dynamics.
According to Dr. Michael Thompson, a child psychologist, "Experiences of regret in childhood can profoundly influence one's decision-making and self-image in later life." He emphasizes that addressing these feelings through therapy can facilitate significant personal development. Furthermore, Dr. John Gottman, a renowned marriage researcher, notes that "Understanding and processing regret is essential for emotional growth and healthier relationships." Engaging in therapeutic practices can lead to transformative outcomes in one's emotional well-being.
12. Recording over the only memory of grandfather's voice
"My grandfather passed away when my dad was in his early 20s in the 80s. My dad had an old voice recorder that he kept in his sock drawer with a little cassette.The cassette had the only recording of my grandfather’s voice on it. A few seconds at the beginning of the empty tape of him going “1 2 3 test 1 2 3 test”.Well anyways, at some point being a little adhd child, I recorded over it with some b******t.Still feel terrible about that."
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13. "They never ever seemed to mind, but my cowardice haunts me to this day."
"I was friends with unpopular kids growing up. To protect my own image, I didn’t defend against their bullying when I was around.They never ever seemed to mind, but my cowardice haunts me to this day."
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14. "Stole some money out of teacher’s purse. S**t still haunts me 30+ years later. They make so little and it probably had a significant impact."
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The Role of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a central theme when exploring childhood regrets. Studies conducted by Dr. Robert Enright at the University of Wisconsin-Madison demonstrate that individuals who practice forgiveness tend to experience lower levels of regret and guilt.
Dr. Enright’s work emphasizes that forgiveness isn’t just about absolving someone else’s wrongdoings but also about liberating oneself from the emotional burdens tied to past actions. His research has shown that engaging in forgiveness exercises can significantly improve emotional well-being, helping individuals to reframe their regrets as learning experiences rather than sources of shame.
The Role of Self-Compassion
Practicing self-compassion can be particularly helpful for individuals grappling with regrets from their past.
Research has shown that self-compassion can help individuals reframe their experiences, reducing feelings of shame and fostering a more forgiving attitude towards oneself.
15. "Class clown"
"Back in elementary school, I was one of the students who had many friends. I was what you would call the "class clown".There was this kid who was darker in color than us and stank bad when going to school. As a kid who didn't know much back then, I used to make fun of him for the way he looked and smelled bad.I bullied him every day, and because I'm friends with the whole class, they would too. Little did I know that that boy was selling little packets of pepper before and after school hours.That's why he smelled and looked that way. As a little kid who needs to work like that, it's a pity that we made fun of him because he wanted to earn money.I'm [angry] at myself for that."
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16. That was meant to be a compliment
"I used to be a real brat. One of those “gives completely unsolicited opinions because I’m just so HONEST” type [jerks].I one time in like 4th grade went up to this group of girls, singled one of them out by name, and told her, “Gina, you’re not fat but you’re chubby.” I in no way did this to be mean.It was just my complete ignorance about how since I had a thought, she needed to hear it. I had no friends.It didn’t dawn on me til years later when I eventually pulled my head out of my a*s that I realized what a horrible person I used to be and didn’t know it in the slightest."
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17. "Saying no when my brother asked for a hug."
"My brother is 2 years younger than me. When we were little our mum was clearly struggling with taking care of us as well as herself ( she suffered with a few mental health issues as well as being a single mother at the time).Because of this she would take her anger and stress out on us by getting mad at the tiniest things. Basically had to walk on egg shells around her.One day she got mad at my brother for something and yelled as she usually did which left my brother in tears ( he was about 6/7 at the time) I came out of my room to check on him and he asked me if he could have a hug. The other kids at my school said it was embarrassing to hug your family members so thinking about this I replied to him with a no and with a disgusted tone of voice and expression.I don’t know why I did that. I regret it so much.He needed support and I let my fear of people thinking I was weird get in the way even when they weren’t there. I wish I could tell him that I’m sorry but we’re not really close enough to have that kind of convocation.I try not to be too hard on myself about that choice I made since I was only 8/9 at the time and didn’t have the emotional maturity I have now."
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How can we help children cope with their own regrets? A clinical psychologist recommends incorporating reflective practices in daily routines. Techniques such as journaling can provide a safe space for children to articulate their feelings about past actions, which can be incredibly therapeutic.
Research supports this approach, with studies showing that expressive writing enhances emotional processing and promotes psychological well-being (Pennebaker, 1997). By encouraging children to reflect on their experiences and express their emotions, caregivers can help them develop resilience and a more constructive perspective on their mistakes.
Experts recommend engaging in reflective practices, such as journaling, to process feelings of regret.
Writing about past experiences can offer insights into the emotions surrounding those moments and help individuals identify patterns in their decision-making.
18. Stole toys from another kid and dumped them in the trash
"Stole this little kid’s toy sword and shield and then dumped it in the trash. His teeth were really messed up so it's likely those toys weren't something his family could easily afford.Completely innocent little boy who had done absolutely nothing to me. I was about 7 at the time.I still remember the look on his face as he was crying and I feel terrible about it whenever this thought pops up in my head."
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19. "Hitting a neighbor kid with a baseball bat in the head for calling my mom fat. I was 5."
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20. Terrorizing the cat
"When I was 4-9 I spent a lot of Saturday and Sunday mornings as an only child trying to entertain myself while waiting for my dad to wake up. One morning I was terrorizing the cat by chasing him around the house, not giving him any time to breath.He got so scared and tired he hid behind the dryer where he stayed for almost 2 hours. My dad asked where the cat was, and I told him I didn’t know.I was a d**k and it wasn’t the first time I did that kind of thing, but for some reason that one made me realize what I was actually doing to that beautiful creature. I thought I was just playing with my brother.I think about it quite often and have never treated an animal that way since. It does haunt me the way I behaved towards that animal that gave nothing but love and affection."
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Learning from Mistakes
Children often learn best through experience, but the regret associated with mistakes can be a double-edged sword. Dr. Carol Dweck's research on growth mindset highlights that framing mistakes as opportunities for learning rather than as failures can significantly alter how children perceive their actions.
Her findings suggest that when children understand that their abilities can grow with effort and practice, they are less likely to dwell on past regrets. Instead, they can focus on the lessons learned, fostering a healthier attitude towards challenges and setbacks. This shift in mindset not only benefits their emotional health but also plays a crucial role in their academic and social development.
Learning from Regret
Regret can also serve as a powerful teacher, providing valuable lessons for future decision-making.
Research indicates that individuals who reflect on their regrets in a constructive manner tend to make better choices moving forward, as they become more attuned to their values and priorities.
21. "I used to get excited on a sunny day because I'd go in the garden with a magnifying glass and make insects explode. So f*****g cruel."
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22. "You might wanna brace yourself for this one..."
"When I was like 5, I was playing with one of our kittens, maybe a month or two old, unsupervised. I've repressed what I was actually doing with it, but I do remember noticing it was bleeding from the nose and was obviously being too rough.I brought it to my Mum in tears, and I'll never forget the way she yelled "What the f**k!" in that shaky, cry-scream, voice. I dunno what became of it, but I'm pretty sure I accidentally killed it.I don't even have the heart to ask my Mum about it to confirm or deny it, and I still cry about it every time I think about it. I wish I could erase what I did, go back and prevent what happened, but I can't, and I'll forever live with that guilt.It's one of the primary reasons I can't bring myself to believe I'm a good person, no matter how much I've grown in the 17ish years since, because if I can, at my most innocent stage of life, do something like that, can I ever wash that blood from my hands, what will I say to whatever, if anything, greets me after I die? I am so terribly sorry for what I did, and honestly, wouldn't disagree with you calling me inhuman for my actions."
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23. "I put itching powder on a little girl on the bus...she had an allergic reaction and lost patches of hair."
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The impact of peer relationships during childhood cannot be underestimated. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned marriage researcher, "Friendships play a crucial role in shaping a child's emotional landscape, influencing their ability to regulate emotions and build self-esteem." When children experience regretful actions towards their peers, they often grapple with feelings of shame and isolation. As Dr. Shefali Tsabary, a parenting expert, notes, "Strong social support networks can help children process their feelings and mitigate the emotional fallout of regret." Encouraging positive peer interactions can help children navigate their social environments more effectively, ultimately contributing to their emotional resilience.
Developing a growth mindset can enhance resilience in the face of regret.
Psychologists emphasize that viewing regrets as opportunities for growth rather than failures can foster a healthier perspective and encourage individuals to take positive action in their lives.
24. "I made a yo mama joke to my friend the week his mom died. I knew about it, I just had totally forgot. I remembered the second it came out of my mouth."
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25. "I wish I could apologize to him."
"I was new to a group of boys at a party. I threw a frisbee poorly and it went into a pool.Asked another guy to get it for me. He said no.I called him a racial slur. He got out of the pool, lifted me up over his head WWF style, and threw me into the pool.(He should have beat the c**p out of me). I lied about what happened saying he hurt me, and he got kicked out of the party.He never came back to that group and I have no idea whatever happened to him. That is probably my biggest regret of all time.I wish I could apologize to him."
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26. Some mistakes actually were enlightening
"Back in 7th grade there was a group of girls that I would mock constantly just for being women. I had no idea why and no one was influencing me to do it.I’m now in my second year of college and I look back on it occasionally and I’m grateful I’m not that person anymore."
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The Importance of Empathetic Guidance
Caring adults play a critical role in how children process their regrets. According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, "When caregivers model emotional intelligence, they provide a roadmap for children to navigate their feelings." This empathetic guidance enables children to articulate their emotions and learn constructive ways to cope with regret. By fostering open communication and teaching children to view mistakes as part of the learning process, adults can significantly shape how children approach their future decisions and relationships, as emphasized by Dr. Michael Thompson, a child psychologist who states, "Understanding and discussing regrets can empower children to make better choices moving forward."
Seeking Support
For those struggling with deep-seated regrets, seeking professional support can be beneficial.
Therapy provides a safe space to explore feelings of regret and develop coping strategies. According to research from the American Psychological Association, therapeutic interventions can facilitate healing and personal growth.
27. "I'll always have that in my heart"
"My Nana raised me...My mom had a bad past but she's here for me now and into my adult life.But one moment I wish I could take back was when I was 13, (My Nana moved to Vegas at this point so we were distant)... I was playing my Xbox, and my Nana called and called me.I never answered because apparently I didn't have the f*****g time of day for the one I looked up to growing up. Later I find out she wasn't feeling good, she had phones my mother...and she went to the hospital the same night and passed away.I wish I could have has the brains to pick up the phone and talk to her. I never knew that would be the last time I would see her, and it was a simple phone call.All I had to do was pick up. And I'll always have that in my heart, just how careless I was for someone that still wanted to be a part of my life even if she was miles away."
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28. "All those friends of mine were all sick kids."
"I was playing Sesame Street figures with another kid, his toys. We were both 5.For whatever reason I really wanted to keep his Count Dracula, but I couldn't just take it straight up. So I got this great idea that I would throw it up in the air until I got it stuck in the tree.Kid was freaking out on me, and I just kept throwing. I succeeded and in a fit he grabbed all his toys and ran home with them.It then occurred to me that there's no way I could get it either. So I went home too.Couple of weeks later I am outside wandering aimlessly. It was a windy cold day.Then all of a sudden the Count fell right in front of me. I was so excited I grabbed the toy and ran to the kid's home.His parents answered and I was so excited I was like "is so and so home, I found his toy!!!!" They both were sad looking and took the toy as they said "no".Later found out when I was a teen that the kid died of cancer. My sister had a heart condition, and we just happen to live in this cheap apartment complex near the hospital.All those friends of mine were all sick kids. Anyways, I pestered his parents for the longest time always asking if so and so could play and when he was coming back.I was too young to realize what was going on."
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29. "I didn't realize he was calling to say goodbye"
"In my first act of teenage attitude/rebellion, I mocked my father's suicide attempt a few months earlier. I was 12 and it felt good to be mean to someone that had hurt me emotionally in such a way.That was the last time we spoke. I didn't realize he was calling to say goodbye.He tried again and succeeded that night."
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30. "I bullied a girl in middle school to the point that she had to transfer to the school in the next town over to get away from me."
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We are not born already taught everything. As kids, we just learn about life and good and bad manners.
There is no way for a child to study his every thought before he makes a decision. So it's natural to make some mistakes during that growing-up period due to childish desires and harmless selfishness.
Psychological Analysis
Our in-house psychologist notes that childhood regrets often stem from internalized values and societal expectations, leading to feelings of inadequacy later in life.
Recognizing these influences is crucial for personal growth and emotional healing.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
In conclusion, addressing childhood regrets is essential for emotional well-being and personal growth.
By practicing self-compassion, engaging in reflective practices, and seeking support, individuals can transform their regrets into opportunities for learning and development.
Understanding the intricacies of childhood behavior and the resultant feelings of regret is vital for healthy emotional development. Clinical psychologists confirm that recognizing the roots of these feelings can lead to more empathetic and supportive environments for children. According to Dr. Alexandra Solomon, relationship therapist, "When children learn to process their emotions, including regret, they develop a deeper understanding of themselves and others." Ultimately, fostering resilience and emotional intelligence from a young age can pave the way for healthier relationships and decision-making throughout life, as emphasized by Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, child development expert, who states, "Nurturing environments allow children to see mistakes as opportunities for growth."
