Choosing Between Pet Ferret and Dream Vacation: Am I the Asshole? | Reddit

Some couples argue about money, some argue about chores, and then there’s this one where the real battlefield is a tiny, special-needs ferret named Bandit. OP and her partner have been planning a Europe dream vacation for years, the kind you talk about like it’s already booked.

Then Bandit enters the picture, and suddenly the trip that felt romantic on paper turns into a full-on emotional dilemma. OP’s partner is deeply attached to Bandit and treats him like family, but when the vacation gets closer, OP starts spiraling about leaving a health-compromised ferret with strangers for weeks. She tries bringing up postponing, while her partner insists they’ll find a trustworthy pet sitter and calls her unreasonable for even suggesting it.

Now it’s come down to a high-stakes ultimatum, and Bandit is the one thing neither of them can easily compromise on.

Original Post

I (30F) and my partner (32M) have been planning our dream vacation to Europe for years. It's always been our goal to explore different countries together.

However, recently, we adopted a pet ferret named Bandit who has become a big part of our lives. For background, my partner has a strong attachment to Bandit and treats him like a member of our family.

As our trip approaches, I've been having second thoughts about leaving Bandit behind. My partner assumed we would find a pet sitter or board him during our vacation.

But the more I think about it, the more anxious I feel about leaving Bandit in someone else's care. He's a special needs ferret and requires extra attention and care due to his health issues.

I tried discussing my concerns with my partner, suggesting that maybe we should postpone our trip until we can find proper care for Bandit. However, my partner is adamant about sticking to our travel plans and believes we can find a trustworthy pet sitter.

He thinks I'm overreacting and that Bandit will be fine without us for a couple of weeks. He even mentioned that I'm being unreasonable for potentially jeopardizing our long-awaited vacation over a pet.

I feel torn between my love for Bandit and our shared dream. I don't want to let my partner down, but I also can't shake off the guilt of leaving Bandit behind.

So, would I be the a*****e for giving my partner an ultimatum: it's either Bandit or our vacation?

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This echoes the cross-country move clash, where someone debates saying no to friends’ exotic pets.

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OP’s Europe itinerary sounded set in stone until Bandit, with health needs, became the center of their household’s daily routine.

OP tried to talk her partner into postponing, but he shut it down fast with the “we’ll find a sitter” plan and a side of “you’re overreacting.”

The more OP pictured Bandit in someone else’s care, the more the vacation started to feel like a choice between guilt and romance.

When OP finally considered an ultimatum, Bandit’s health and her partner’s “family member” mindset collided head-on.

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

If they can’t agree on Bandit, the real vacation might be the relationship.

For another vacation fight, read about the roommate who left an anxious dog behind.