Choosing a Girls Trip Over Boyfriends: Am I the Jerk for Skipping His Lake Getaway?

Some people think a “girls trip” is a petty excuse. In this Reddit post, though, it turns into a full-blown boyfriend drama because OP skipped his lake cabin getaway to protect her peace, her body image, and her sanity.

OP (21F) and her boyfriend (24M) are both going to meet his online friends for the first time, and he really wants her there. The plan: a cabin on a lake where everyone will probably be swimming. OP is currently at her highest weight, feels insecure in a bathing suit, and doesn’t love the idea of being the new girl in front of strangers. She first said it was “work,” then admitted the real reason, and now she suspects he’s still hurt. Even messier, she’s already got her own identical lake trip with her girl friends a couple weeks later.

Now the question is whether she’s protecting herself or accidentally lighting a match under her relationship.

Original Post

My (21F) boyfriend (24M) has a trip planned with some online friends coming up. I’m good friends with them as well, but they were his friends first/he’s closer to them.

This will be everyone’s first time meeting too. He really wants me to go but I was feeling reluctant because the trip is a cabin on a lake where we would most likely be swimming.

My issue is that I’m highly insecure right now (I’m at my highest weight but working on getting healthier) and I’m not comfortable wearing a bathing suit in front of people I’m meeting for the first time (I could just not go in the lake but that wouldn’t be very fun). So, I told my bf I couldn’t go because of work but then I came clean and he said he understood but I think he is still hurt.

On top of this, it doesn’t help that I’m going to be going to the SAME lake on an identical trip with my girl friends a couple weeks beforehand. I am looking forward to it and while I am still insecure in a bathing suit, I am very comfortable with my girl friends so I don’t mind it.

(This won’t be my only chance to meet these friends, as we are planning a winter trip to Vegas with them) Am I being immature/an a*****e about my insecurities regarding the trip? EDIT: Turns out my bf might not be able to go either, his work is understaffed and might schedule him for those days!

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It’s also like the will fight over unequal inheritance, where OP asks if it’s fair to give some children more.

Is it Fair to Give Some Children More Inheritance? Exploring a Will Dilemma

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The whole thing starts when OP’s boyfriend pushes for her to join his lake cabin trip with friends he met online first.

Then OP admits she didn’t want to swim in front of brand-new people, and the “work” lie makes it sting even more.

To make it worse, OP is going to the same lake soon after with her girl friends, which makes her reason sound suspicious even if it isn’t.

And just when everyone’s judging her, OP drops the edit that her boyfriend might not even get to go because his schedule is up in the air.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

He might not be the villain, but that lake trip timing is definitely doing damage.

Before you decide what to do, see why one OP refused to split her grandmother’s estate with a half-sister.

Should I Share Inheritance with Half-Sister? AITA for Not Splitting the Estate?