Choosing Stairs Over Elevators at Work: Am I the Jerk for Avoiding Elevators Due to Childhood Trauma?

A 28-year-old woman refused to take the elevator at work, and it turned into a full-time coworker feud. It all started with one childhood moment: she got stuck in an elevator and ever since then, the doors, the delays, and the trapped feeling have stuck with her.

Now her job has stairs and elevators, and her coworker, Karen, knows exactly why she avoids the elevator. When Karen suggested they take it together to save time, OP politely explained her fear, and Karen responded with mocking, calling her childish, and pushing the elevator issue like it was a personality flaw.

So now every commute home is a power struggle, and Reddit wants to know if OP is the jerk for digging in harder.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) and have this deep fear of elevators since I got stuck in one as a child. It was a traumatic experience that has stayed with me ever since.

Fast forward to my current job, where we have both stairs and elevators to get to our floor. My coworker, let's call her Karen, knows about my fear of elevators.

Karen and I usually leave work around the same time, and we both live close to each other. One day, she suggested we take the elevator together since it would be faster.

I politely declined, explaining my fear to her. Instead of being understanding, Karen started mocking me, saying that it's just an elevator and I need to get over it.

She even went as far as calling me childish for avoiding the elevator. Since then, every time we leave work, Karen insists on taking the elevator together, making fun of me for choosing the stairs.

Her behavior has made me even more adamant about always choosing the stairs, no matter what. I feel like she's being insensitive and disrespectful toward my fear.

So Reddit, given the history and the situation with Karen, am I the asshole for always choosing the stairs over elevators at work?

Childhood trauma can significantly shape an individual's responses to certain situations, often manifesting as avoidance behaviors.

Comment from u/CoffeeLover1995

Comment from u/GamerGirl_21

That childhood elevator trap is the reason OP skips the elevator in the first place, and Karen just refuses to let it go.

On the flip side, the coworker's lack of empathy highlights a critical aspect of workplace interactions: emotional intelligence.

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The moment Karen called OP childish after being told about the fear, the “just take it” suggestion stopped sounding helpful.

It also echoes the fallout when a fiancé and his sister secretly searched her private phone, after she vented.

Woman’s Private Phone Vents Exposed After Fiancé And His Sister Secretly Search Her Phone.

To address the fear of elevators while navigating workplace dynamics, consider implementing a structured approach. Immediate steps might include identifying specific triggers related to elevator use and developing mindfulness techniques to manage anxiety, such as deep breathing exercises.
In the short term, try gradually exposing yourself to the elevator environment, perhaps by standing near the elevator or observing its operation without boarding. Over the longer term, engaging with a therapist or counselor can help unpack underlying trauma and develop coping strategies tailored to your needs.

By taking these steps, you can work toward not only overcoming the fear but also fostering understanding with colleagues, ultimately promoting a healthier workplace environment.

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Comment from u/TheRealPancake

Now OP is choosing the stairs on purpose, because Karen keeps insisting on the elevator and keeps making jokes while they walk out.

What's your opinion on this situation? Join the conversation!

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Comment from u/FriendlyGhost99

By the time Karen demands they ride together again, OP is already locked into the stairs, and the tension feels personal.

In this narrative, the struggle between personal comfort and workplace dynamics unfolds dramatically.

If Karen wants OP to ride the elevator, she should probably stop acting like her fear is a joke.

Sharing turned into a full-on blowup when a boyfriend’s friend kept eating his girlfriend’s meal, again. Boyfriend Fed Up After Friend Eats Girlfriend’s Meal Again.