Single Dad Holds Firm on Chore-for-Rent Deal with College Daughter Despite Her Protest About Not Having Enough Study Time
“Your peers juggle 9-5s with college; you should be grateful I’m letting you off easy!”
A single dad tried to keep the terms of a chore-for-rent deal simple, and his college daughter tried to renegotiate it the second her workload started feeling like a second job. What should have been a straightforward agreement turned into a full-on family debate, complete with side commentary from an aunt and a lot of “you don’t get it” energy.
After moving back home from college, she struck a deal to cover her living arrangement with cooking and cleaning. But once classes got heavy, she asked for fewer chores, saying she wasn’t getting enough study time. OP refused, argued that other kids her age had it worse, and then watched the situation spiral when she ran to her aunt, who called him too strict.
Now he’s stuck wondering if he’s holding the line for the right reasons, or if he’s accidentally turning “support” into resentment. Here’s the full story.
Let’s Dig into the Details
Reddit.comAfter OP’s daughter moved back home from college, she made a deal to cover her living arrangement. Later on, she became burdened with the number of tasks and requested a reduction.
Reddit.comThe ongoing negotiation between the single dad and his college daughter over a chore-for-rent agreement highlights the complexities of family dynamics during a pivotal life stage. As she grapples with the pressures of academic life, her protests against the arrangement reveal a common struggle for autonomy among young adults. This period is often marked by the desire for independence, and the daughter's feelings of being overwhelmed by her obligations reflect the dual challenge of balancing home life with the demands of college. The arrangement not only emphasizes financial necessity but also underscores the evolving relationship between parents and their adult children, as they navigate the tricky waters of responsibility and independence.
OP rejected his daughter’s proposal, pointing out that working kids her age had it worse. Subsequently, the girl reported to her aunt, who criticized OP for being too strict.
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OP wants to maintain the initial agreement but needs third-party opinions on the matter.
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That’s when the dad pointed out that her deal was basically rent covered in exchange for cooking and cleaning, not a “little favor,” and she wasn’t buying it.
Studies show that parental expectations can significantly impact a child's self-esteem, particularly in stressful situations like college.
OP tries to explain certain concepts surrounding their relationship and maintains that other people would be excited to have his daughter’s opportunity.
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OP is certain that allowing his daughter to get a 9-5 will make her appreciate the cooking/cleaning offer more.
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Things got messier fast after she asked him to cut back chores for more study time, and OP said working kids her age had it worse anyway.
It’s a different kind of pressure, but it echoes whether to tell the boss about a pregnant coworker’s job search.
Therefore, finding a balance between responsibilities and autonomy is crucial for both the parent and the college student.
We Gathered Some of the Highest Upvoted Comments:
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“You are not asking her to do some chores; you have her cooking and cleaning full-time for a family. That’s a huge difference.”
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The aunt then stepped in after the daughter reported back, making OP feel like he was being judged by someone who didn’t live with them.
For instance, parents might consider allowing their child to propose a chore schedule that aligns with their study commitments, fostering a sense of ownership.
This approach not only encourages responsibility but also nurtures the relationship by promoting open communication.
“Cooking involves planning/shopping for ingredients, prep, and the actual cooking. It can take a huge chunk of time.”
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“Three meals a day, every day? On top of cleaning? She isn't the parent here.”
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So OP is now trying to explain his logic, convinced that a standard 9 to 5 schedule would make her appreciate the chore setup more.
After the flood of comments labeling OP the a**hole, he couldn’t resist stepping in to set the record straight: First of all, he wasn’t a ‘wicked stepmother.’ He also went through his fair share during college and believed she could, too.
The backlash didn’t entirely change his stance, but he did offer a compromise inspired by some Redditors. His daughter could either get a job to cover rent or stick with the original deal with a tweak to chore days. It's a harsh lesson in balancing fairness and responsibility.
What do you think about this story? Share your thoughts with us.
“She’s just 20, and you’re making her cook and clean every day like a maid while she’s going to college? She’s your child. Let her study.”
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“This is a lot of work. A job of work, in fact, because it's already a job. Your daughter is now your stay-at-home wife.”
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This scenario underscores the importance of effective communication and mutual respect within family dynamics, particularly during transitional periods such as a college student's return home. The father's insistence on a chore-for-rent arrangement reflects not just a financial strategy but also a teaching moment about responsibility and self-sufficiency. The college daughter’s protests about balancing her studies with household chores reveal a common struggle faced by many young adults. Finding a middle ground could enhance their relationship, allowing both parties to express their needs while fostering a supportive environment that promotes understanding and cooperation.
Nobody wins when “rent help” turns into a chore fight at the family dinner table.
Wait, the boa constrictor babysitting request got rejected too, see why this AITA poster refused to pet-sit the friend’s snake.