50 Freelancers Share Stories of Clients from Hell They've Encountered That Are Absolutely Horrifying
The customer isn't always king; sometimes they're trash that needs to be thrown out the window.
Anyone here running a business? Yeah, well, I got you.
A long time ago, we were led to believe the following:
- The customer is always right
- The customer is king
- Customer satisfaction is a high priority
But what if these customers are actually creatures that have crawled out from the deepest pits of hell? Yes, such customers exist, and we're about to uncover them.
But first...
What's the first thing you learn in business school? Supply and demand aside, you learn about quality customer service.
You learn that there's nothing more important than ensuring your customers are happy with your service. Now, the problem here isn't the idea itself, but the misuse of the idea by terrible customers straight from hell.
Not just in business; you can see these clients from hell in restaurants, grocery stores, and hospitals. Businesses are in constant fear of failing due to the pressure exerted by customer satisfaction.
Customer satisfaction is a good thing when you're dealing with sane people, but when it comes to the insane ones, you get taken for the ride of a lifetime.
So here's a new lesson for us all:
- The customer isn't always right
- The customer isn't always king
- Customer satisfaction has its limits
Now that it's settled, let's join in the misery of 50 freelancers who can't wait for us to read their stories about the clients from hell they've encountered.
Sometimes you gotta talk in a language they understand.
clientsfhThat's a good one.
clientsfhOh, I love this.
clientsfh
Um, exactly. That's what a job is.
clientsfh
Burn.
clientsfh
Well, because you couldn't keep your sticky fingers away from the code.
clientsfh
LMAO. But that's not how it works.
clientsfh
I think he forgot his brain at home.
clientsfh
Touché!
clientsfh
That's the point.
clientsfh
Facepalm.
clientsfh
I didn't know lesbians were famous for wearing hats.
clientsfh
Well, at least they're honest.
clientsfh
Nope, not today.
clientsfh
Well, that explains it.
clientsfh
Roasted.
clientsfh
Lemonade, laminate... close enough.
clientsfh
Eh. That's dumb.
clientsfh
What in the world.
clientsfh
The infinite depth of stupidity never ceases to amaze.
clientsfh
Sexism is still alive and kicking.
clientsfh
Always get the contract before starting anything.
clientsfh
This is bad.
clientsfh
I guess it's broken then.
clientsfh
You know what? Just leave, man.
clientsfh
When you are dumb and proud of it.
clientsfh
Are you even listening? SMH.
clientsfh
This client went to school with their ears and eyes closed.
clientsfh
Crazy.
clientsfh
Let's just reshape the goddamn lake; it's not that hard.
clientsfh
This doesn't even make sense, honestly.
clientsfh
Good for you.
clientsfh
Arrogance unlimited.
clientsfh
The richer they are, the less they want to pay.
clientsfh
It's best to ignore deadlines unless someone is actively screaming.
clientsfh
Sure, but teaching costs double.
clientsfh
Time is valuable; it's never free.
clientsfh
ROFL.
clientsfh
For 30 different combinations, you're looking at over a million possible characters.
notalwaysright
Not cool.
clientsfh
Lord, help them.
clientsfh
Oh, the irony.
clientsfh
No, I'm sorry; fun won't pay the bills.
clientsfh
Eh.
clientsfh
That's right; good luck.
clientsfh
I wonder what else this client thinks is manly.
clientsfh
No, now it's double.
clientsfh
No, I'm sorry; take your business elsewhere after making payments.
clientsfh
ROFL.
clientsfh
No, you can eat them, but pay us real coins.
clientsfh
In Summary...
I hope you never have to deal with clients from hell, but if you have had to deal with them in the past, we'd love to hear more.
There's a reason I ask people to share: the more we share, the better we feel, and chances are the clients from hell will read the posts and realize the special kind of idiots they are, honestly.
With that, I take my leave; I'm hungry.
PS. Love my work? I won't keep reminding you to share, fam!
