Woman Asks The Internet If She Was Wrong For Clinging To Her Husband At A Party

Separating work from personal life is difficult, especially for people in upper management. Their job involves attending dinner parties and other formal events thrown by their bosses or business partners.

Even though they are called parties, the discussions often revolve around work. Perhaps that's because these individuals don't have much in common except their work. We can't say for sure...

But one thing is certain – nobody enjoys these parties less than the employees' significant others. They are literally forced to be there, even though they would prefer to be anywhere else (at the dentist's office, in an erupting volcano…).

These parties can be even worse when you are pregnant. One Reddit user shared her story involving one such party.

She was pregnant and sensitive and really didn't want to go to this party. However, her husband told her that it was essential and promised he wouldn't leave her side.

And he kept that promise, which annoyed some people who wanted to discuss business with him. So she posted a question, asking if what she did was wrong.

We can't say that, but we can say that she chose the right guy to marry. Read her story here:

OP asks:

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A pregnant woman had to attend a business party thrown by her husband’s boss.

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She didn’t want to go, but her husband told her it was important and promised not to leave her side even for a second.

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Understanding Social Anxiety

The scenario described highlights the complexities of social anxiety, particularly in environments that blur the lines between personal and professional life. Research from the University of California, Berkeley, indicates that social anxiety can manifest more prominently in individuals who feel they must perform or adhere to specific social norms, especially in unfamiliar settings, such as work-related parties (Hofmann et al., 2017). This pressure can lead to avoidance behaviors, where individuals cling to familiar companions, such as a spouse, to mitigate feelings of discomfort.

This behavior is often rooted in the need for emotional support and a secure attachment figure in stressful situations. Understanding this can help individuals recognize that their need for close connection in social contexts is a common response to anxiety, rather than a sign of dependency or insecurity.

When the time came for business talk, her husband didn't want to let her leave and ignored the awkwardness like a true hero. We love this guy, don’t we?

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OP’s husband kept his word even though people who wanted to talk shop with him were visibly frustrated.

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Frank’s wife escorted OP to the bathroom and told her to give Frank and her husband 30 minutes to discuss work.

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Interestingly, the dynamics at play in such gatherings can also reflect broader themes of power and social hierarchy. According to social psychologists, events like these often emphasize the social status of attendees, which can amplify feelings of inadequacy and disconnection among partners of employees. A study from the University of Michigan found that individuals often feel more anxious when they perceive themselves as lower in the social hierarchy compared to their peers (Smith et al., 2016). This contributes to the instinct to cling to a partner as a protective mechanism.

The research suggests that recognizing these social dynamics can empower partners to navigate such events with greater confidence and develop strategies that promote inclusion and engagement rather than withdrawal.

OP said no and went back to her husband. She didn’t leave his side for the rest of the evening, which was pretty annoying for Frank and his wife, who even complained about OP to the other guests. Now she wants to know if what she did was wrong:

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OP clarified things a bit, but it still looks like something you should do in your office. During work hours.

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Even though it is strange

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Attachment Styles in Social Situations

The behavior of clinging to a spouse during social events can also be understood through the lens of attachment theory, which posits that early interactions with caregivers shape our relationship patterns later in life. Dr. Mary Main's research on attachment styles indicates that individuals with an anxious attachment style may exhibit clingy behaviors in social situations when feeling insecure or threatened (Main et al., 1985). This could manifest as seeking reassurance from a partner when in potentially uncomfortable settings, such as a professional party.

A helpful approach for those who recognize these patterns in themselves is to engage in self-reflection and communication with their partners. Discussing feelings of anxiety and establishing a mutual understanding of coping strategies can foster healthier interactions in social environments.

The King and the Queen need to curb their egos.

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We agree with this Redditor. It is so great to see husbands who keep their promises and stand by the woman they love.

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It is a good question :)

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Building on the theme of communication, experts suggest that developing assertiveness can significantly enhance comfort in social situations. According to Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, "Assertiveness is about expressing your needs and boundaries clearly, which can lead to more fulfilling interactions." This skill allows individuals to express their needs and set boundaries without fear of judgment. Practical strategies include practicing role-playing scenarios with a partner or close friend before attending events, which can help build confidence and prepare for potential social interactions. Engaging in assertiveness training can also provide individuals with the tools necessary to express their needs effectively while maintaining a sense of autonomy.

Exactly!

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Very!

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We can understand the need for secluding themselves to discuss business, but there are better ways to do this. First of all, don't do it at a party....

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The Role of Emotional Support

The need for emotional support during social events, particularly for partners of employees, can often be a reflection of deeper relational dynamics. Research from Stanford University emphasizes the importance of supportive relationships in buffering against anxiety and stress, highlighting that individuals with secure partnerships tend to manage social stressors more effectively (Cohen & Wills, 1985). When one partner feels secure, they are more likely to engage positively with the surrounding social environment.

For couples attending these events, establishing a pre-event agreement can be beneficial. This may include discussing expectations, identifying signals for needing support during the event, and planning strategies to engage with others while maintaining a connection. Such proactive communication fosters a sense of partnership and teamwork, making the experience less daunting.

But people who were discussing business would excuse themselves and go to the office.

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Frank and his wife really need to do this:

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Here is one Redditor who has experience in these matters

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It's also worth noting that social events can trigger feelings of inadequacy, especially if individuals perceive themselves as unprepared to engage in professional discussions. Research by the University of Pennsylvania highlights the phenomenon of 'impostor syndrome,' where individuals doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as a fraud (Clance & Imes, 1978). This can lead to increased anxiety in social settings, where the pressure to perform can feel overwhelming.

To combat these feelings, it's recommended that individuals focus on their strengths and prepare talking points ahead of time. Engaging in positive self-talk and visualizing successful interactions can enhance self-efficacy and reduce anxiety, allowing for more genuine connections with others.

Sounds shady...

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Sounds about right...

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This is good advice.

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Enhancing Social Interactions

Finally, developing social skills in a supportive environment can significantly improve comfort levels in professional gatherings. According to Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis, a renowned marriage therapist, "Effective communication is key to navigating social situations, and couples who practice together can enhance their understanding of each other's needs." Such training often includes role-playing, active listening exercises, and empathy-building activities. Couples can benefit from participating in such workshops together, enhancing their collective skills and fostering a deeper understanding of each other's social needs. This not only prepares them for future events but also strengthens their bond as they navigate social landscapes together.

Some circles still do this.

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Dinner parties are often used to discuss business, and that’s completely understandable. But why invite so many people when you really want to see just a couple of them and discuss business?

Why not just make it a business lunch and invite only the people you really need to talk to? We have to admit it all looks like a scene from some old movie, where men would go to the study to smoke cigars and discuss the stock exchange and the price of gold and rubber, while women would drink tea and discuss children, hats, and pottery.

Psychological Analysis

This woman's behavior at the party could be explained by social anxiety and the sense of being out of her comfort zone, which is common in situations where individuals feel they don't belong or can't relate. Her husband's presence provided her with a sense of security and familiarity amidst the unfamiliarity. The husband sticking by his wife, despite the work-related discussions, demonstrates the importance of emotional support in helping individuals navigate stressful situations.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Recommendations

In conclusion, understanding the psychological dynamics at play during social events can empower individuals and couples to navigate these situations with greater ease and confidence. As noted by experts in social psychology, leveraging supportive relationships, enhancing communication skills, and practicing assertiveness can significantly impact one's experience in professional settings. Furthermore, recognizing the roots of anxiety and clinging behaviors, grounded in attachment theory, can facilitate healthier relational patterns. With these strategies, couples can transform potentially stressful social gatherings into opportunities for connection and growth.