Conflict at Work: AITA for Taking PTO My Coworker Wanted?

Some coworkers treat PTO like it’s a suggestion, not a schedule. OP has been living that reality for months, because when her coworker A calls out, OP gets stuck covering all of A’s patients in a job that moves fast and does not slow down for anyone.

The situation gets messy fast, because A has called in sick day-of at least 16 times, and OP suspects some of those absences were less “sick” and more “not what you said.” To make it worse, A asked another coworker, M, to cover her, and M told her no. Then OP found out she would be working alone only that morning, after having to completely replan her day.

Now the holidays are coming, and OP wants one Monday off, but A has been saying she’s taking both Mondays, leaving OP to wonder if she’s about to get blocked from her own time.

Original Post

I (f) have been working at my job for the past 9 months. I work very closely with a coworker (also f, we’ll call her A) and if she is gone, I have to take over all of her patients as we work in healthcare.

At least one of us has to be at work during the week. Although regular hours plan for both of us to be there.

In the time that I have been there, this coworker has called in the day of at least 16 times (if not more). This is very difficult as our job moves very quickly and it creates double the work.

I understand that life happens and you get sick. Although I have proof of this coworker has lied about being sick or what she was doing at least a couple times.

In a recent incident, she had asked another coworker (M) to come into work to cover for her. M had told her that she could not.

This was a day before A was going to out of work. A told M that she would try to come into work that day but would probably be late.

Protocol for missing work at our job is to at least inform the people that you work closely with (me) and our boss. I was not informed that I would be working by myself until I was told my someone else that morning.

This means I had to replan my whole day. There have been many instances where I have to skip lunch and stay 1 1/2 to 2 hours overtime.

This is not normal for my job and you could get in trouble for it. Anyways, our doctor is going to be gone for two weeks around the holidays except for the Mondays.

My coworker has been saying that she is taking both of the Mondays off. This means that I cannot take them off.

After talking with my boss, she said that A did not take off the first Monday in the system and I could still take it off. I believe that A has not accrued enough PTO to put it in the schedule yet.

Days off are first come first serve. I know that this coworker is also going to visit family, but I don’t know what days.

I really want to take that Monday off because I never take off work and I want to spend time with family too. Should I retract the day and let A have it?

Or should I keep it and let her figure it out?

Workplace dynamics in high-stress environments such as healthcare are inherently complex, as illustrated by the frustrations expressed by a Reddit user regarding a coworker’s unpredictable attendance. The article highlights how absenteeism can place undue strain on teams and diminish overall morale. This situation underscores the necessity for open communication among team members. Addressing attendance issues through candid discussions about individual needs and constraints is vital.

Comment from u/looneybinguard

Comment from u/apothekryptic

Comment from u/Izzybee543

OP is already drowning in double the patient load and skipped lunches, so it’s hard to feel generous when A keeps disappearing last minute.

By approaching the situation with compassion instead of judgment, colleagues may find common ground.

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By fostering a culture of accountability and support, employees can better navigate their responsibilities and reduce friction, ensuring that everyone feels valued and balanced.

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Comment from u/Ruebee90

When A told M to cover her and M refused, OP ended up being the one who got hit with the fallout of A’s absence.

This echoes the AITA debate over whether someone should use their last 20€ to pay a debt.

The situation presented by the Reddit user highlights a fundamental issue in workplace dynamics: the impact of a colleague's absenteeism on team morale and productivity. Understanding the motivations behind such unpredictable attendance is essential in addressing the underlying problems. The article suggests that personal challenges may be influencing the coworker's behavior, indicating a need for employers to be more empathetic and aware of their employees' circumstances.

By offering flexible work arrangements and fostering a supportive environment, organizations can cultivate loyalty and enhance overall team performance. Encouraging open discussions about personal struggles can lead to more effective resolutions, ultimately benefiting the entire team. This case serves as a reminder that addressing individual needs is crucial for maintaining a harmonious and productive workplace.

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The boss says the first Monday is not in the system yet, which makes OP suspect A might not have enough PTO accrued, or she’s just betting someone won’t challenge it.

When faced with a colleague's erratic attendance, it’s crucial to address the issue directly.

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Comment from u/Remarkable-Cry7123

In conflict situations, it’s essential to focus on solutions rather than blame.

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With days off first come, first served, OP has to decide whether she should grab that Monday off before A’s “family plans” turn into another surprise schedule shakeup.

Encouraging mental health days and promoting a culture that prioritizes employee well-being can help mitigate these issues.

Comment from u/annedroiid

Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

In this scenario, the tension between the two coworkers highlights a common workplace dynamic where feelings of resentment and unfairness can arise. The original poster is caught between self-preservation and compassion, illustrating the psychological concept of boundary-setting—important for maintaining one's well-being. Ultimately, the decision reflects deeper motivations about responsibility, fairness, and the need for recognition, which can be crucial in shaping workplace relationships.

In the realm of healthcare, where teamwork is essential, the situation described by the Reddit user highlights the significant impact of a colleague's erratic attendance on workplace dynamics. The frustrations caused by frequent last-minute absences not only disrupt workflow but also strain relationships among team members. This scenario underscores the need for open communication and understanding in addressing absenteeism. By fostering a culture where employees feel comfortable discussing their challenges and collaborating on solutions, organizations can mitigate conflicts and enhance overall productivity. Encouraging accountability while simultaneously supporting mental well-being can lead to a more cohesive and effective team, ultimately benefiting both employees and the organization as a whole.

OP might just be fighting for one normal day off, and it’s making her feel like the villain for taking what she already earned.

Before you judge the “repay your mom” angle, read what OP did with a Christmas gift after spoiled food.