Woman Contemplates Divorcing Emotionally Neglectful Husband Who Dismissed Her During Pregnancy and Refuses Therapy, Fears Impact on Her Child

Some husbands don’t just get distant during pregnancy, they act like the baby came with a “you’re on your own” sticker. In this Reddit post, a woman is weighing divorce after her 33-year-old husband shut down emotionally, dismissed her, and refused to show up the way she needed most.

They’ve been together for 10 years, and it all gets uglier when pregnancy hits. She says she suffered through a traumatic birth and severe PPD/PPA, while he belittled her, made her quit her job during her business success, and eventually took over her business. Even intimacy turned into a battleground, because she’s too disgusted to want sex, and he frames it like she’s failing “wifely duties.”

Now she’s stuck between fear of leaving and fear of what it could do to their 3-year-old, especially when he guilt-trips her with threats about harming the child and implying she’ll be “promiscuous” with a new boyfriend.

OP is contemplating divorcing her 33-year-old husband after a 10-year relationship, as problems arose during her pregnancy when he became emotionally distant and unaffectionate. They have a 3-year-old child.

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She feels robbed of her happiness during pregnancy and postpartum due to a traumatic birth, severe PPD/PPA, and her husband's insensitivity, which has led to growing resentment.

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He was self-centered and belittling, making her quit her job during her success and eventually taking her business.

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Social Dynamics and Exclusions

Excluding someone from a significant event, like a baby shower, raises questions about social dynamics and relationship expectations. Research in social psychology indicates that exclusion can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment among those affected.

Resentment has led to her refusal of sex, and their relationship suffers as he blames her for not fulfilling "wifely" duties. She finds sex with him repulsive.

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She's scared of leaving him because he guilts her by saying it would harm their child and implies she'd be promiscuous with a new boyfriend.

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She's anxious about asset division after he took much from her and is terrified of starting over, impacting her child's future. Despite advice on working things out, she believes it's too late for help.

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When he excluded her from big moments like a baby shower and kept acting self-centered, her resentment stopped being a feeling and started being a pattern.

This situation reflects the psychological concept of 'in-group/out-group' dynamics, where individuals create divisions based on perceived social acceptance. Understanding the motivations behind exclusion can help individuals navigate these social challenges more effectively.

She asked for therapy, and he agreed only if it were a male therapist to make her "act like a wife." His comment made her lose interest in therapy.

Scroll down to see what people had to say!

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She likely already knows the path forward. The fear she's experiencing is a sign of the bravery within her.

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"Go see a lawyer."

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Promoting inclusivity in social gatherings can significantly enhance the overall experience for everyone involved.

"For your sake, leave him."

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"This dude is the definition of abuse..."

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"Starting over is hard..."

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After the traumatic pregnancy and postpartum, his “only a male therapist” stunt made it clear he wasn’t trying to help, he was trying to control.

This is similar to the couple arguing after a pet disaster, when one partner refused a new adoption.

Moreover, establishing guidelines for social interactions can help prevent conflict and exclusion in future events.

"He sounds emotionally abusive."

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When peace of mind's the cost, it's too rich for anyone's blood.

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Marriage shouldn't resemble a prison. If it sounds like misery, don't sentence yourself to a lifetime of it.

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No one with self-respect stays tethered to that!

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This isn't a marriage; it's a horror film.

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Exposing the child to that toxic attitude is like feeding them expired candy.

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Her marriage is the Titanic, and he's the iceberg of abuse.

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Run, like an escape artist fleeing the circus.

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Prioritize kids and sanity. At 30, there's time to craft a happier life.

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Don't let her child pick up his act or let her youth slip away.

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This guy's performance won't improve; it will only worsen.

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He missed the 'husbandly' memo when she needed support the most.

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In her shoes, it's a thunderstorm, but the sun follows rain.

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No one likes a rerun, and kids prefer comedy over drama.

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Show the kids to stand tall by leaving.

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Experience is a tough teacher, but the lesson's clear: staying in a bad marriage doesn't help the family; it's showing them the way out that truly does.

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"It ain't going to get better."

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Staying in a gloomy marriage makes her child the critic of life's worst show.

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Swap the full-time drama for a career in happiness.

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The sex refusal, the blame, and her repulsion are the kind of slow-burn cracks that never really heal once a partner starts keeping score.

And with him taking so much, the scary part is not just leaving, it’s wondering how she can protect her child while rebuilding her life from scratch.

In the depths of her heartache, OP found the strength to confront her pain and consider a future beyond the confines of her deteriorating marriage. The realization that her happiness and well-being mattered, even in the face of fear and uncertainty, marked the first courageous step toward reclaiming her life and rediscovering her worth.

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This situation underscores the intricate dynamics of emotional neglect within relationships and the profound effects it can have on both partners and their family. The dismissal experienced by the woman during her pregnancy reveals the deep-rooted issues that can fester when communication breaks down.

Her husband's refusal to engage in therapy not only exacerbates her feelings of isolation but also raises concerns about the emotional climate in which their child is being raised. A marriage that once held promise is now marred by a lack of support and understanding, highlighting the crucial need for a nurturing environment where both partners feel valued and heard.

He might be happier in a different home, because this marriage is already emotionally over.

Before she even considers divorce, read about the partner who hid a secret vasectomy, sparking a family rift.