Money, Power, And Marriage - Why A Businesswoman Asks Her Unemployed Husband How To Spend

We've come a long way from the days when a self-respecting woman's main objective was to find a husband who could keep her out of poverty. In spite of this, we still don't appear to have figured out how to handle the "phenomenon" of the female breadwinner.

Contrary to popular belief, female breadwinners—women who provide the majority or only income for their families—are more prevalent. When this data was last gathered, it showed that a quarter of women in heterosexual marriages in the United States made more money than their husbands, and a third of working mothers in Europe were the primary providers for their families.

Although women's earning potential and responsibilities are beginning to change, perceptions about them are still generally prejudiced. It is assumed that women who make more money than their partners will work three jobs: maintaining their partner's easily shattered ego, taking on the majority of home tasks and caregiving, and performing their actual work.

This sort of thinking perpetuates numerous gender stereotypes for both men and women and serves no useful purpose at all. We see this in today's story, where the OP is the breadwinner as her husband decided he wanted to stop working and stay home.

They share a bank account, and OP's husband started monitoring how much money they save, making budgets, amongst other things. The real trouble came when the OP spent $20 without informing him.

Here's the full story in the OP's own words...

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He also controls how much they save

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"This is unacceptable, why are you trying to destroy the family etc”.

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He forensically examined the bank account and didn’t find anything else

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I might be the AH because I have forgotten in a similar fashion a few times before and most people have budgets

We've gathered some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to read through below

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The OP should take a holiday somewhere in a hotel

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He brings nothing to the table

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It is legally classified as domestic abuse

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To the above comment, the OP replied saying...

Hi, so the weekly budgets usually have about 100-200$ left over after food costs (food is very expensive where we live) but that 100-200$ has to be used for any and all additional purchases so it could be used for fun things in theory but it also has to be spread across all other stuff we need like household goods/repairs/general supplies (cleaning products or pet stuff etc), it also would be used to cover things like clothing or shoes for the kids if they need them etc etc. It sounds like a lot but we live somewhere where taxes are high and consumer goods cost a lot so you’d be surprised how easy it is to see it slip away on basics/necessities.

And the comments continues...

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The OP should get her own bank account

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The OP needs a good divorce lawyer

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The OP is being used and financially abused

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According to a Redditor, the OP isn't only suffering financial abuse, she's also suffering emotional abuse, manipulation and isolation. In fact, many Redditors were horrified reading OP's story and were very worried for her.

In the end, she was declared not the AH and you too can drop your own verdict in the comment section below.