Woman Finds Out Her Ex Is Engaged Through Social Media — Now She’s Banning Their Daughter From The Wedding

A Reddit user recently shared that she broke up with her ex, who is also her daughter’s dad, three years ago after a five-year relationship. They share a six-year-old daughter and generally co-parent well, only communicating about their child.

Her ex has been dating his now-fiancée for almost three years, but the OP says she was never told directly. In fact, she only found out he was dating someone new when their then–three-year-old casually mentioned it.

Things became more uncomfortable when the fiancée announced their engagement on social media. The OP only found that out because she happened to see the post, even though she and the fiancée had been social media friends for over a decade.

Right before the engagement news, the ex told the OP he couldn’t financially support their daughter “for a while.” He explained it was due to changing career fields, which the OP initially accepted without issue.

Days later, however, she saw photos of what appeared to be an expensive engagement ring. She stayed quiet, but said the situation already felt off.

About a month later, the ex’s mother texted to say she’d take their daughter on some of his scheduled days. The ex followed up, saying he was “busy,” giving less than 24 hours’ notice.

The OP rearranged her plans, only to later see vacation photos of the ex and his fiancée online. That’s when she finally confronted him.

Feeling dismissed, the OP decided their daughter would not attend the wedding. Now she’s being told she’s selfish, but she’s standing firm and asking: is she really the bad guy here?

Things became more uncomfortable when the fiancée announced their engagement on social media.

AI-generated image

Here’s the original post by Reddit user ‘DryChapter5918’.

I (F26) broke up with my ex/daughter’s dad (25M) 3 years ago. We were together 5 years, had our daughter (6F) after 2 years together. Good co-parenting & don’t really talk about anything outside our child. He‘s been dating fiancée (25F) for almost 3 years. He didn’t tell me about him dating her, my 3y/o did btw. Things changed when the fiancée announced their engagement.I ONLY knew bc I saw it on HER social media. She & I have been friends on social media for over 10 years, but ex and I aren’t friends. Right before this, he told me that he could not financially support his daughter for “a while.“ He pays “child support” but we’ve never gone to court. He told me it was because he was moving into a new job field, I said that’s great and fine. Days later, I open my social app to see an expensive-looking ring.I was annoyed but things were civil, so I said nothing. Fast forward a month later, his mom texted me to say she would take our child on his days, but not ALL of his days. He texts me after to say that he was busy. It’s less than 24 hours before he was supposed to have her, so I figured something must‘ve come up. I made arrangements to be home instead. It was only until a few days later that I started seeing vacation photos on his fiancée’s Facebook. Next was word vomit. when his next time to have our daughter came, I let him have it.I told him he could have let me know in advance he was going out of town and that he had to have known for weeks ahead, and how disrespectful he used his mum to communicate instead of coming to me. I said it’s a pattern; he also didn’t tell me about his plan to marry, and that involves our daughter. His response? His fiancée wasn’t getting any legal rights to our daughter; why did it matter? I asked - Is it important for our daughter to gain a step-mom? Is it important that YOU tell me about important things going on in our daughter’s life? The conversation really went nowhere, and his fiancée then blocked me, which spoke volumes - “not only do we think you should’ve found out like this, you shouldn’t have found out at all”.In the end, I told him our daughter wouldn’t attend his wedding. As far as she knows, the reason she isn’t going to the wedding is bc we have a trip planned for that day, and they don’t even have a set wedding date because they are due with a new child now. I‘ve raised our daughter almost solely; even when he and I were together, I’ve been there for all of her important events, and I fear he’ll go behind my back, and I’ll miss seeing her at her first wedding (and even potentially being a flower girl for the first time). I would not be able to help her dress, or do her hair, or see her walk the aisle, all which mean a great deal to me to be a witness to.Please tell me, AITA? My friends tell me I’m not; everyone else says that I’m being selfish and punishing them for no real reason, and his family says I’ve caused them to postpone the wedding. I feel bad, but I still am firm in my decision.

Here’s how the Reddit community reacted.

ImpossibleAd7376

“Go to court and make things legal.”

Diet-CokeWhore

“Coparenting is a b***h!”

Shortestbreath

YTA.

ProfessorDistinct835

“You don’t belong at his wedding, but his daughter does.”

BlondDee1970

“Stop weaponizing your daughter.”

turkeyman4

“Time to go to court.”

chicagok8

This could backfire.

Accomplished_Cod7613

It has nothing to do with you!

HappySummerBreeze

Don’t punish your daughter.

badedum

“Neither of you are doing what’s best for your daughter.”

H3110_T43R3

“Don’t make your child a hostage.”

Deo14

“It’s not about you.”

Ill_Dragonfly_6673

In the end, the Redditor says this was never about jealousy or control, but about respect, communication, and protecting her place in her daughter’s life. Now she’s turning to the internet for perspective, wondering whether setting this boundary makes her unreasonable—or if it was simply the last straw in a long pattern of being left out.