College Student Pretends To Shave Her Head To Confirm Her Copycat Flatmate's Obsession With Her

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but that sounds like an excuse a copycat would use. When imitation crosses boundaries, it starts to become a bit creepy.

In this case, it's quite creepy. OP (original poster) is your typical college girl who has a flatmate of the same age named Kaya.

Kaya and OP crossed paths when they started college at the same time. They are civil and friendly towards each other, but they are not the best of friends.

OP's friends noticed that Kaya was copying her, and she was not secretive about it. OP didn't notice until her friends pointed out that Kaya would wear the same accessories and the same clothes as her.

OP says that she has a very distinct style, and while Kaya is free to replicate the looks, it was odd that she wore the exact same outfit that OP wore. She thought Kaya was satisfied with copying her clothes and accessories, but she amped it up.

When OP dyed her hair, Kaya also did the same. When OP bought furniture or decorations for her room, Kaya also bought the same model.

Kaya also obsessed over the guys who showed any interest in OP. Kaya would do anything to redirect the guy's attention to her; it didn't matter if the person was just a friend; Kaya had to do everything she could to attract him to her.

When OP joined organizations and sports clubs, Kaya would sign up as well.

Kaya did everything that OP did, and it was obvious to everyone around them. OP hasn't addressed the issue yet, despite it being too creepy, because she doesn't know how to even broach the subject.

Home for Easter break, OP and her friend were a little inebriated, and they decided to launch the ultimate test to see if Kaya really does imitate OP. She posted on her social media, hinting about shaving her head.

OP's friend is a hairstylist, and she helped OP fake a shaved head look. OP then posted the photo on social media, which she deleted a few days later and completely forgot about.

Once back at school, OP was busy preparing for her exams when she saw Kaya, who now has a shaved head. Needless to say, OP's number one fan was upset that OP's crowning glory was intact.

Kaya wouldn't stop yelling at OP for lying to her about her hair. OP ignored her anger and holed up in her room to focus on her exam.

Kaya didn't let up and began texting OP. She wanted OP to pay for her wig because, according to Kaya, it was OP's fault she shaved her head.

OP said she would do no such thing because Kaya decided to shave her hair all by herself. OP thought that was the end of it, but Kaya began harassing her every time they crossed paths.

OP also received an email from their university's administration asking her for a meeting about the issue. Kaya had the audacity to report OP for something she did.

Kokosowaczekolada

Did OP behave like an a**hole when she pretended to shave her head to catch Kaya copying her? Read the original post below:

Kokosowaczekolada Kokosowaczekolada

The situation described exemplifies a phenomenon known as 'social comparison theory,' which posits that individuals determine their own social and personal worth based on how they stack up against others. Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology by Festinger in 1954 highlights how this comparative behavior can lead to feelings of inadequacy or heightened self-esteem, depending on the context and the individual's self-concept.

In this case, Kaya's obsessive imitation of OP may suggest an underlying insecurity or a desire for validation, indicating that she may perceive OP as someone who has qualities she lacks. Such dynamics can create an unhealthy cycle, where one individual feels compelled to act out of character to gain approval from another, ultimately leading to relational strain and conflict.

"I don't own the style and she's free to wear what she likes."

Kokosowaczekolada

"Now, don't get me wrong..."

Kokosowaczekolada Kokosowaczekolada

Imitation and Identity Formation

Dr. Susan Harter, a developmental psychologist, asserts that imitation can play a crucial role in identity formation, particularly during adolescence and early adulthood. Her research indicates that while some degree of imitation can foster connection and learning, excessive mimicking, as seen in Kaya's behavior, can stifle personal growth.

When individuals overly identify with or imitate others, it can lead to a disconnection from their authentic selves. This disconnect is particularly concerning in social settings like college, where students are exploring their identities and establishing their independence. Harter emphasizes the importance of fostering a sense of self that is distinct from others, which can lead to healthier relationships and personal fulfillment.

"Faking a shaved head..."

Kokosowaczekolada Kokosowaczekolada

This is how some true crime documentaries start...

schnitzel2022

The emotional dynamics at play in this scenario can also be analyzed through the lens of attachment theory. Research by Mary Ainsworth and later by researchers like Dr. Phil Shaver and Dr. Mario Mikulincer highlights how attachment styles developed in early childhood can influence adult relationships and behaviors.

Kaya's obsessive behavior may indicate an insecure attachment style, characterized by anxiety and a fear of abandonment. Such individuals often seek validation through imitation or control, which can further alienate rather than connect them with others. Recognizing these patterns can be the first step toward fostering healthier relationships and self-acceptance.

It doesn't end well for the person being stalked, to be honest.

Particular-Fun4352

I feel horrible for laughing, so I had to pass on the burden.

HIOP-Sartre

Offending the obsessive stalker would be the last thing I'd worry about.

MaryQueenOSquats

The Role of Boundary Setting

Establishing healthy boundaries is essential in any relationship, particularly when one person's behavior begins to encroach on another's sense of self. According to Dr. Henry Cloud, a psychologist and author, clear boundaries help individuals protect their emotional space and promote healthier interactions.

In this situation, OP could benefit from directly communicating her discomfort with Kaya's behavior, reinforcing her own identity in the process. Research suggests that assertive communication can significantly reduce anxiety and improve relational dynamics, allowing both parties to express their needs without resorting to passive-aggressive behaviors or imitation.

The top comment advised against recounting Kaya's previous copycat behavior and the motivation behind the "test."

Status-Pattern7539

They said it's important for OP to establish how Kaya's behavior after Easter break affected OP's ability to focus on her studies.

Status-Pattern7539

Additionally, someone said OP shouldn't mention drinking before goofing around because it can get her in bigger trouble with the school administration.

mrteacherman24

Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher on vulnerability and shame, emphasizes the importance of authenticity in fostering genuine connections. Her work shows that when individuals act from a place of authenticity, they invite others to do the same, leading to deeper, more meaningful relationships.

In this case, OP's decision to pretend to shave her head might be seen as a misguided attempt to reclaim her autonomy and assert her identity. However, Brown's research suggests that embracing vulnerability and openly discussing feelings of discomfort could lead to a more constructive dialogue between the two students, ultimately fostering a healthier dynamic.

The issue of OP drinking would depend on where she lives, and based on her lexicon, we can assume she's from Europe, the UK to be specific, or Australia.

keladry12, OrneryYesterday7

Someone else said OP should stick to the real story instead of making up an elaborate lie.

ucnkissmybarbie

OP should keep her story simple and only provide details she was asked about.

Mule2go

Coping Strategies for Stress

Given the tension in this situation, it's crucial for both OP and Kaya to develop effective coping strategies to manage their emotions and interactions. Research in the field of positive psychology suggests that engaging in mindfulness practices can significantly reduce stress and improve emotional regulation.

Practicing mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep-breathing exercises, can help both individuals cultivate self-awareness and manage anxiety. Studies show that individuals who regularly practice mindfulness report higher levels of emotional stability and greater resilience in the face of interpersonal conflicts.

If it's not relevant to the story, then there's no need to mention it.

Electronic-Tonight16

The main focus of the meeting should be kept on Kaya's scary obsession with OP.

Alive_Good_4138

Lying would discredit OP's valid concern about her safety.

moleasses

The phenomenon of 'reactive behavior' can also be observed in this scenario, where one person's actions provoke a strong reaction from another. Behavioral psychologists have found that these reactions often stem from unresolved issues or emotional triggers, leading to a cycle of conflict.

Research published in the American Psychological Association emphasizes the importance of understanding these triggers to break the cycle. By identifying and addressing their emotional responses, both OP and Kaya could work towards a resolution that respects each person's individuality and boundaries.

If OP tells the whole truth, there is no way she would look like the one in the wrong here.

drama_by_proxy

A lawyer agreed that OP shouldn't lie about the drinking, the test, and Kaya's stalking behavior.

Taalahan

They also advised OP to read through her school's handbook to prepare herself before the meeting.

Taalahan

Navigating Social Dynamics

Social psychology offers valuable insights into navigating complex interpersonal dynamics like those between OP and Kaya. Dr. Robert Cialdini's principles of influence highlight how social proof can play a role in shaping behavior, often leading individuals to conform to the actions of those around them.

In college environments, where peer influence is strong, students may feel pressured to mimic behaviors as a means of fitting in. Understanding the motivations behind these actions can lead to healthier interactions, promoting a culture of authenticity rather than imitation. Encouraging open discussions about individuality and self-expression can counteract destructive patterns of behavior.

They would know immediately if OP was lying; therefore, she shouldn't do it.

WildernessBarbie

If OP lies to make herself look like a clueless victim, it could backfire and make her look like a bully.

WildernessBarbie

A more practical and useful piece of advice was shared by one redditor. They laid out a plan that OP should definitely follow.

braw_mince

The situation also highlights the importance of self-reflection in interpersonal relationships. Research from the field of self-psychology suggests that individuals who engage in self-reflection are better equipped to understand their motivations and behaviors. This understanding can lead to more empathetic interactions and healthier boundaries.

Encouraging both OP and Kaya to engage in self-reflective practices, such as journaling or therapy, could facilitate personal growth and improve their relationship dynamics. Studies show that individuals who engage in regular self-reflection report greater emotional intelligence and improved relationship satisfaction.

OP should state exactly how Kaya's behavior raised some red flags and emphasize the university's duty to keep her safe from would-be harassers like Kaya.

braw_mince

Sure, admitting that fake-shaving her head was a trap for Kaya wouldn't look great for OP, but it doesn't erase Kaya's months-long obsession with OP.

WatNaHellIsASauceBox

The fact that Kaya felt like she was the victim here after copying everything OP did for months is concerning. Her behavior escalated over time, and if the university doesn't intervene during the meeting, who knows what Kaya will do next to OP.

It's awful that OP could potentially face any punishment after enduring Kaya's behavior for months. We do wonder how Kaya framed the story to make OP look like the offending party.

Psychological Analysis

This situation really highlights how imitation can stem from deeper insecurities, particularly for Kaya, who seems to be struggling with her identity and self-worth. People often mimic others as a way to gain validation and feel more connected, but when it crosses into obsession, it can lead to unhealthy dynamics like the ones we're seeing here. Open communication and boundary-setting would be essential for both OP and Kaya to navigate this complex relationship and foster healthier connections.

Analysis generated by AI

Behavioral Analysis & Pathways Forward

In summary, the complex dynamics between OP and Kaya reflect various psychological principles, including social comparison, attachment theory, and the importance of authenticity in relationships. By fostering open communication and practicing self-reflection, both individuals can break free from unhealthy patterns of behavior and work towards establishing a more positive and supportive living environment.

Mental health professionals emphasize the need for both parties to engage in boundary-setting and seek to understand their emotional triggers. Ultimately, healing and growth are possible through self-awareness and intentional relational practices that honor each person's individuality.