Woman Conceals Past Cosmetic Surgeries From Husband, Son Gets Bullied For Features He Inherited From Her

It has been two decades since a 40-year-old underwent extensive cosmetic surgery. She kept this history hidden from her husband but was recently forced to tell the truth after he worried about their son's looks affecting his health and social interactions at school.

OP shared that she "grew up as close to objectively ugly as you can be." Her schoolmates bullied her for her physical appearance and gave her a hurtful nickname for her protruding jaw.

With her inheritance, OP underwent a series of cosmetic surgeries when she was 18 to 23 years old. She started with rhinoplasty and eyelid surgery until she found a doctor who was qualified to perform orthognathic surgery to shave her jaw.

OP then had chin implants and neck liposuction to achieve the appearance she desired. From then on, OP behaved as if her "new face" had always been how she looked.

She met her husband four years post-surgery. OP chose not to show him any of her photos before her surgeries, and her family promised to keep them a secret despite the jokes they made about her undergoing a face transplant.

OP and her husband have a 12-year-old son. OP was relieved when her son was born, resembling his father, but later realized he inherited most of OP's natural features.

OP's son was relentlessly bullied at school for his nose and prominent jaw.

ThrowawaySamaja

OP's husband worried that an underlying medical condition caused their son's jaw to jut the way it did.

ThrowawaySamaja

The Psychological Impact of Concealment

Concealing aspects of one’s past, such as cosmetic surgeries, can have profound implications on familial relationships. Dr. Angela Bertucci, a social psychologist at UCLA, posits that this behavior may stem from a fear of judgment or rejection.

Research shows that individuals often feel pressured to conform to societal standards of beauty, which can lead to self-esteem issues and secrecy.

This concealment can create distance in relationships, as authenticity is a cornerstone of trust and intimacy.

However, they chose not to take him to a doctor out of fear that he would see it as a negative opinion of his looks.

ThrowawaySamaja

Instead, her husband consulted his brother-in-law, who was an orthodontist. The latter confirmed that the jaw was due to genetics, not a medical condition. OP was compelled by her sister to tell her husband the truth about her cosmetic procedures.

ThrowawaySamaja

Moreover, studies suggest that children often internalize their parents' insecurities, leading to issues of self-acceptance. In this case, the son's experience of being bullied due to inherited features highlights the societal pressures regarding appearance.

When parents conceal their past, it can inadvertently convey a lack of acceptance toward certain traits, affecting how children view themselves.

Encouraging open discussions about body image and self-acceptance can foster a healthier environment for children.

He got upset that OP kept a significant secret from him. He thought they were 100% honest when discussing each other's family medical history before deciding to have kids.

OP told her husband she thought he liked her for who she was and not because of her looks when he asked why she didn't tell him. Her husband has been distant from OP since but has remained a doting father to their son.

ThrowawaySamaja

OP should have disclosed her history to her husband, especially when their family health history was discussed when they talked about having kids.

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Addressing Bullying and Body Image

To combat the negative effects of bullying, it's crucial for parents to provide emotional support and validation. According to Dr. Michael Thompson, a child psychologist, "Children need to hear that their worth is not tied to their appearance, but to their character and abilities." Parents can help their children develop resilience by teaching coping strategies to deal with bullying and promoting an understanding of beauty as a multifaceted concept. Additionally, seeking counseling or support groups can provide children with tools to navigate these challenges effectively, as noted by Dr. Susan David, an emotional agility expert, who states, "Emotional support is vital for children to thrive in the face of adversity."

OP had plenty of chances to come clean. She should have volunteered the information when her husband worried about their child's health.

mamadgaf

I can only imagine how betrayed her husband feels that OP roped her family into the secret.

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Furthermore, Dr. Michael P. Johnson, a developmental psychologist, emphasizes the importance of fostering environments where children can express their feelings about bullying without fear of invalidation.

Open lines of communication help children articulate their experiences and develop coping mechanisms.

Encouraging children to embrace their unique features can also combat the pressures of conformity imposed by society and peers.

If anyone could understand what their son is going through, it should be OP. Beyond telling the 12-year-old "he looks fine," what has OP done to protect her son from harm?

nyorifamiliarspirit

OP could have eased her husband's worries if she wasn't so afraid of her past.

DazzlingTurnover

A majority of Reddit users voted that OP was in the wrong. Some defended OP and said it was her right to keep her medical information private.

However, those who advocated for OP's son said it was selfish of OP to make the issue about her when it affected her son's well-being. Her husband is grappling with the fact that his wife lied to him for two decades and has to find an empathetic way to tell his son the truth without hurting his feelings further.

OP has to accept that what she went through as a child is now happening to her son. It's probably even worse with social media.

espressolove

OP really should have been truthful when her husband toyed with the idea that their son could have a medical condition.

illegalrooftopbar

OP knew what she was doing when she asked her family to keep her cosmetic procedures a secret from her husband all those years ago.

Reddit user

Some Redditors hoped that OP was trolling because her story is too cruel.

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Psychological Analysis

This situation showcases the intricate relationship between self-image and familial relationships. Concealing past surgeries reflects deeper insecurities that can ripple through family dynamics.

It's crucial for parents to model openness and acceptance to help children navigate their own self-acceptance journeys.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, addressing the psychological implications of concealment and societal beauty standards is essential for familial harmony. Research consistently indicates that open communication fosters resilience and self-acceptance.

By working through these issues together, families can strengthen their bonds and support each other's emotional health.