Spoiled Cousin Brags About Her Husband's Salary From His New Job Without Knowing She Was Talking To His Boss Who Happened To Be Her Cousin's Fiancé
"Comparison is the thief of joy."
It's difficult to be friends with people who constantly feel the need to one-up others. At least with friends, you can minimize your interactions or cut them off completely from your life.
What do you do when you have to deal with behavior like this from family members? OP recently discovered exactly how to handle a cousin who always brags about how much better she is than you.
OP has a cousin named Kat who recently married her boyfriend, Henry. The cousins have never truly been close because OP sees Kat as a spoiled person who has always bragged about her material possessions, even as a child.
She also disguises her meanness under the guise of wanting to be helpful. Kat and OP don't have a social relationship, but they are cordial when they interact at family functions.
While not married herself, OP is engaged to her boyfriend, Chris, who is a software engineer. Chris is also one of the three heads of his department, and he recently told OP about the new hires in their department.
He was describing someone familiar, and when he mentioned that his name was Henry, OP knew instantly it was Kat's husband. However, Henry and Chris have yet to meet face-to-face.
We know that Kat loves to brag about how great her life is, and recently her favorite subject was how grand her wedding was. When the hype around that dies down a bit, Kat had to find something else to flaunt in front of others.
This time, she began talking about her husband's amazing job! During an aunt's 50th birthday, things between the cousins became a bit more interesting.
Kat was bragging to OP about how much money her husband Henry was making in his new job
Henry, like a good husband, chimed in and said they were already planning to buy their first house together. Kat asked what OP's fiancé did for a living.
OP shared that he was an engineer as well and that he gets paid pretty well, but OP intentionally didn't disclose which company Chris was working for. Kat smiled, nodded, and said she understood that OP was embarrassed and wanted to keep Chris's job a secret.
That ended their interaction quickly until it was time to leave. As OP and Chris were leaving the party, Kat pulled OP aside and told her that if they ever needed help with the wedding, OP shouldn't hesitate to talk to her and Henry.
Two days later, OP received a furious message from Kat. She was angry that OP didn't tell her that Chris was one of Henry's bosses.
Henry saw Chris at their office. Chris asked Henry to tell Kat that she was sweet to offer them help with their wedding, but he and OP didn't need it.
Henry and Kat were embarrassed by this new information. Kat said they never would have offered if OP had told them where Chris was working.
OP and Chris laughed over the ridiculousness of the situation, but Kat felt differently. She said it was OP's duty to inform her and Henry about Chris's job.
When OP failed to do that, she blindsided them. She shared all of this and more in their family's group chat, where many people chose Kat's side.
Forsaken_Drama1789
Was OP an a**hole for omitting that Chris was Henry's boss and letting her cousin Kat run her mouth off? Read her full story below:
Forsaken_Drama1789
"We weren't close as kids."
Forsaken_Drama1789
(They hadn't met face-to-face yet.)
Forsaken_Drama1789
"She smiled and nodded."
Forsaken_Drama1789
"Two days later..."
Forsaken_Drama1789
Petty people praised OP for how gracefully she handled the situation instead of giving Kat a taste of her own medicine
Fine_Prune_743
As for why Henry didn't notice he was at the same party as him...
Aggressive-Fudge5759
... they have not met yet because Henry has been dealing with one of the other bosses
Forsaken_Drama1789
Kat, you better read this if you want to know how much Chris outranks your husband
HeronymusBosch
Chris does not deal with new hires and focuses on leading projects
Forsaken_Drama1789
Now it's time to formulate OP's response to the family group chat
LimitlessMegan
OP can also reply with a subtle dig
wilie345
OP can reply in a way that gives no room for Kat to take the moral high ground
infiniZii
Some say OP shouldn't apologize at all and should say something to put an end to Kat's behavior once and for all
Cat_got_ya_tongue
Ah, the old "compare to despair" scenario. Kat created this internal ranking system herself, and if she feels bad, it's her fault.
Facetunethis
Chris could have answered Kat's dig during the party where they were all equals instead of making a quip at the office where the dynamics are different
ExcellentPatience298
Based on her tattling in the family group chat, we doubt that Kat learned her lesson
misdirected_asshole
In case Kat is willing to learn and is reading this, be careful of what you say, Kat, because it's not so easy to take it back
Loveisaredrose
Comparing yourself to other people serves no purpose other than satisfying your overblown ego. When the illusion shatters, you have no one else to blame but yourself.
Or you can blame your cousin the way Kat did. We wonder what kind of thoughts were running through her mind when she convinced herself OP was in the wrong here. We'd really love to know.
