Redditor Plans To Pretend They Are Unaware Their Covid Denying In-Laws Are Vaccinated To Mess With Them
"Would I be the buttface if I handed them masks and sanitizer, refused to come within 10 feet, and made a big deal about protecting their health?"

There's no better feeling than when someone is lying to you while you know for a fact that they are full of it. The longer they lie and get into detail about it, the more reassurance you get that the person is not trustworthy.
When you know that someone is lying for sure, you have two options: either play along and let them lie further or call them out straight away. The second option is often what most people go fo,r but the first option is usually more fun, and you can get creative with it.
A Redditor who goes by the username u/Harmony_w made a post on the r/AmItheButtface subReddit where they explained how their in-laws are Covid deniers who eventually had to get vaccinated but never shared that info with anyone. Op plans to pretend they don't know about their vaccination and see how they will react to that.
Op decides to consult with the Reddit community and get different perspectives to ensure it's appropriate to pull such a stunt. The Reddit community had a lot of different responses to the user's post; scroll down to check out the full Reddit post and scroll a little further to read the comments from the original post.
Here's the original post by Reddit user u/Harmony_w:

OP's in-laws plan to visit soon, and they plan to give them a proper welcome.

Most users had a similar judgment of OP's situation.

The Psychology of Deception
The act of deception can have profound psychological implications, both for the deceiver and the deceived. Research indicates that lying can lead to increased cognitive load, as individuals must maintain the deception and remember the details of their lies (Gneezy, 2005). This cognitive effort can create stress and anxiety, which may explain why some individuals find it easier to avoid uncomfortable truths, such as vaccination status in this case.
Moreover, studies suggest that when people are caught in their lies, it can lead to a breakdown in trust and relationships (DePaulo et al., 2003). In the context of the Redditor's situation, pretending not to know the truth about their in-laws' vaccination could deepen the existing rift, as it may reinforce the in-laws' feelings of being misunderstood or marginalized.
Psychological Dynamics of Conflict
This situation highlights the intricate dynamics of familial relationships, particularly when differing beliefs clash. Many individuals grapple with cognitive dissonance - a psychological phenomenon where holding conflicting beliefs causes discomfort and anxiety. When it comes to Covid vaccination, those who deny its necessity may feel threatened when confronted with evidence that contradicts their worldview, leading them to react defensively.
According to research published in the American Psychological Association, people often resort to denial as a coping mechanism to preserve their sense of identity and social belonging. This highlights why the Redditor's actions could provoke strong emotional reactions from their in-laws, as it directly challenges their deeply held beliefs.
Understanding Social Pressure and Family Dynamics
Social pressure can significantly impact our behavior and decision-making, especially within family contexts. According to research published in the Journal of Social Issues, individuals often conform to family norms even when those beliefs contradict their values. This can lead to internal conflict and feelings of resentment.
Moreover, the psychological phenomenon known as cognitive dissonance may come into play here, where a person experiences discomfort from holding conflicting beliefs. Understanding this can be the first step toward addressing the underlying issues.
Here's how the Reddit community reacted to u/Harmony_w's post:

It's only a hoax in the online rants but not real life.

This would be the perfect way to deal with this situation.

Social psychologists highlight that behaviors like the one described can often stem from a desire for power or control in a relationship dynamic. The Redditor's plan to manipulate their in-laws' perception of reality may reflect a broader trend in familial relationships where one party seeks to assert dominance over another (Deutsch & Krauss, 1960). This assertion can manifest as a means of coping with frustration over the in-laws’ denial of established scientific facts.
In situations where individuals feel powerless—such as dealing with family members who reject scientific consensus—exhibiting control through manipulation can seem appealing. However, experts warn that such tactics can exacerbate tensions and lead to further polarization between differing viewpoints.
From a behavioral psychology perspective, the choice to engage in passive-aggressive behaviors, such as pretending not to know about the in-laws' vaccination status, can escalate tensions rather than resolve them. Studies show that such indirect confrontations can exacerbate relational conflicts, making it important to consider more constructive communication strategies.
Instead of engaging in behaviors that may lead to confrontation, individuals might consider open dialogues that foster understanding, which can mitigate the emotional fallout and lead to healthier interactions.
Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship researcher, emphasizes the importance of establishing clear boundaries to maintain healthy family dynamics. Setting limits with family members can help protect one's mental health and reinforce personal values. It’s essential to communicate these boundaries assertively yet respectfully.
Implementing strategies such as family meetings or discussions about health beliefs can facilitate understanding and alleviate tension. This approach encourages open dialogue while allowing individuals to express their concerns without unnecessary conflict.
That way, you avoid hosting them entirely.

They can either accept it or choose to stay in a hotel.

The first shot is not enough.

Navigating Conflict with Empathy
One productive approach to managing conflict, especially around sensitive topics like vaccination, is the use of empathetic communication. Research has shown that empathy can significantly reduce defensiveness and promote constructive dialogue (Rogers, 1975). By actively listening to the in-laws' concerns and expressing understanding, the Redditor might find more effective ways to engage them in a conversation about their beliefs.
Additionally, a study published in the *Journal of Conflict Resolution* found that empathy can lead to greater cooperation in conflict situations, suggesting that finding common ground could yield better results than manipulation or confrontation (Van der Molen, 2018). Utilizing empathy might shift the dynamic from adversarial to collaborative, fostering a more open exchange of ideas.
The Role of Empathy in Communication
Empathy plays a crucial role in navigating conflicts, particularly in family dynamics. Research indicates that empathic communication can de-escalate tensions and promote understanding, even among those with opposing viewpoints. By expressing emotions and concerns openly, individuals can foster an environment where respectful dialogue can occur, rather than resorting to potentially incendiary actions.
In fact, studies in the Journal of Social Psychology suggest that empathy can enhance relational bonds and lead to more constructive conflict resolution. Therefore, approaching the situation with empathy rather than provocation may yield better outcomes.
The Role of Humor in Conflict Resolution
Humor can serve as a powerful tool in diffusing tension, particularly in challenging family situations. Research indicates that laughter can reduce stress and promote bonding, making it easier to address contentious issues. However, it’s crucial to ensure that humor is not used as a means of mockery or disparagement, as this can exacerbate conflict.
For example, using light-hearted jokes about the situation can help shift perspectives and create a more relaxed atmosphere for discussion. A study from the Psychological Science journal highlights that humor can significantly improve communication outcomes in familial relationships.
We need a formal update about how things went.

At least Op agreed to host them.

They will eventually admit it; you can't keep something like that secret for long.

According to cognitive dissonance theory, individuals often struggle when their beliefs are challenged, leading to discomfort that they seek to resolve (Festinger, 1957). This theory is particularly relevant in the context of vaccine denialism, where admitting to vaccination can conflict with established beliefs. The Redditor's in-laws may experience significant dissonance if they were to acknowledge their vaccination status, potentially resulting in defensive behaviors.
Understanding this psychological principle could help the Redditor approach the situation with care, recognizing that directly confronting their in-laws' denial could lead to withdrawal or escalation of hostility. Instead, framing conversations to reduce the perceived threat to their beliefs might encourage a more constructive dialogue.
Practical strategies for managing this situation include setting clear boundaries while communicating one's feelings. For example, the Redditor might express concern for their in-laws' health while also stating their own comfort levels regarding interactions. This approach can help maintain family relationships without compromising personal principles.
Research supports that clear communication not only expresses needs but also reinforces mutual respect, creating a healthier familial atmosphere.
Ultimately, navigating family dynamics around differing beliefs requires a blend of empathy, assertiveness, and humor. It’s essential to approach these conversations with an open heart and mind, recognizing that each family member may be coming from a place of love, even if their beliefs seem misguided. Compassion can bridge gaps and foster understanding.
Additionally, engaging in family therapy can provide a safe space for expressing feelings and resolving conflicts. Such interventions have been shown to strengthen family bonds and enhance mutual respect.
"You should make a big deal of not believing them."

It would be an interesting watch, for sure.

The reaction is going to be priceless.

The Role of Humor in Conflict Resolution
Humor can serve as a powerful tool in diffusing tension and fostering connection, particularly in conflict situations. Research has shown that using light-hearted humor can reduce anxiety and promote a sense of camaraderie, which can be especially beneficial when discussing polarizing topics such as COVID-19 (Martin & Ford, 2018). In contrast to the Redditor's initial manipulative approach, incorporating humor might create a more relaxed atmosphere, allowing for genuine conversation.
However, it’s essential to ensure that the humor is not at the expense of the other person’s beliefs, as this could reinforce defensiveness and alienation. A balanced, respectful use of humor could help bridge the gap between differing perspectives and facilitate more open conversations.
Live streaming the moment would be the perfect thing to do in this situation.

A little harsh but perfectly understandable.

OP has every right to refuse to have any contact with them.

The decision to engage in manipulative tactics, such as pretending to be unaware of the in-laws' vaccination status, can lead to unintended consequences that may further fracture familial relationships. Research in social psychology highlights that deceptive behaviors often backfire, leading to feelings of guilt and shame in the deceiver, as well as resentment in the deceived (Baumeister et al., 1998). This suggests that while the Redditor's approach might seem entertaining, it could ultimately harm their relationship with their in-laws.
Instead, adopting a strategy grounded in honesty and openness, even when faced with disagreement, could pave the way for healthier communication and understanding. Developing clear boundaries and expressing one’s own beliefs without resorting to deception may encourage mutual respect, even amidst differing opinions.
More people are rooting for the 'violence' option.

OP should eventually admit that they know.

The in-law's online lies are dangerous and harmful.

Conclusion
In summary, navigating complex family dynamics, especially around contentious topics like vaccination, requires a nuanced understanding of psychological principles. Research from the American Psychological Association emphasizes the importance of empathy, honest communication, and the potential pitfalls of manipulation in fostering healthy relationships. Engaging with family members through a lens of empathy and understanding, rather than deception, not only promotes better dialogue but can also lead to improved mental health outcomes for all parties involved.
Ultimately, while the urge to 'mess with' those who hold opposing views may be tempting, a more constructive approach grounded in respect and open communication is likely to yield more positive results, fostering familial bonds rather than driving wedges between differing beliefs.
The in-laws will probably eventually admit that they are, in fact, vaccinated. You can't keep something like that secret for long, and it will eventually slip out. OP has every right to pretend they don't know as payback for the misinformation their FIL has been spreading.
It would be interesting if they played along and never revealed they are vaccinated. If you enjoyed reading this, make sure to share it with your friends and check out similar content on our platform.
Expert Opinion
This situation illustrates the challenges of navigating differing beliefs within family systems. The desire to maintain harmony often leads individuals to engage in behaviors that may seem manipulative or passive-aggressive, highlighting the need for open and honest communication.

Analysis & Alternative Approaches
In conclusion, managing family dynamics around divergent beliefs requires a thoughtful and empathetic approach. Leveraging humor, setting clear boundaries, and seeking professional guidance can all contribute to healthier interactions and reduced conflict.
Ultimately, understanding the psychological mechanisms at play can empower individuals to navigate these complex relationships with greater confidence and clarity.
Expert Opinion
This behavior reflects a common defensive mechanism where individuals feel compelled to assert their beliefs in the face of perceived threats. The urge to create distance or provoke reactions stems from a desire to protect one's worldview, which can often lead to further division rather than resolution.

Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Ultimately, navigating family conflicts around sensitive topics like vaccination requires careful consideration of psychological principles. Research indicates that employing empathy and clear communication can foster understanding and reduce animosity. As the American Psychological Association notes, acknowledging emotional dynamics can lead to more effective relational outcomes, emphasizing the importance of dialogue over confrontation.
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
In conclusion, the complexities of interpersonal relationships, especially within family units, require careful navigation and a profound understanding of psychological dynamics. Research from a variety of psychological fields highlights the importance of empathy and constructive communication in reducing conflict and fostering healthy family interactions. By prioritizing open dialogue and understanding over manipulation, individuals can promote stronger, more resilient relationships, even in the face of significant disagreements.
Ultimately, as clinical psychologists suggest, the key to resolving conflicts lies not in asserting dominance or controlling the narrative but in creating spaces where all voices can be heard, thus working towards shared understanding and respect.