Women Speak About Their Creepiest “DM” Experiences
“Will you step on insects and film it for money? Here’s an example video”
Some DMs are awkward, some are flattering, and some are so creepy they make you want to throw your phone across the room. In a Reddit thread asking women about the weirdest messages they had ever gotten from men, the replies quickly turned into a parade of harassment, obsession, and straight-up disturbing behavior.
The stories range from gross sexual comments to messages that sound like they were written by someone with no sense of boundaries at all. A few are bizarre enough to be funny in hindsight, but most are just unsettling, especially when the women involved were clearly young or trying to mind their own business.
Here are some of the creepiest DM experiences people shared, and they are hard to forget.
1. Some serious issues here…
“You would be f*ckable even if you were dead.”
Uhm… thanks??
- Vivid_Fishing
Many women report feeling violated or harassed by unsolicited DMs, reflecting a broader issue of entitlement in digital communication.
This miscommunication can stem from a lack of non-verbal feedback in digital mediums, which plays a critical role in human interaction. Understanding the boundaries of consent and communication can be crucial for fostering healthier online environments.
2. So many compliments…
“That he loved my fair skin and the fact I looked FERTILE.
I was also like 15.”
- alotofpisces
That is exactly the kind of message that makes your skin crawl.
3. Online groups…
“I was in an online DnD group, and I was the only female as well as the youngest.
I was fourteen, and the oldest player, who was 27, would regularly flirt with me while we played, but I let it pass (and even felt flattered by it) because it was in character.
Until he messaged me saying how he would stare at the only picture I’d ever sent to the group (which was of my dice and featured some of my hand) every time he masturbated, and that he wished I could be his pet.
Yeah, blocked and left the group.”
- cherrypastel
4. Disgusting…
“Will you please mail me a box of your toenail clippings? I would be honored to chew them.”
I’m serious here.
- chirpfox
Some people really do type the first thing that pops into their heads.
5. No thanks. Maybe next time...
“He wrote out how he saw our entire future together, including meeting each other’s families, moving in together, getting married, buying a goat, getting pregnant, having a miscarriage, nearly divorcing, then mending the relationship and growing old together. Then he asked if I would consider going on this life journey with him.
I would not. I blocked him immediately.”
- nope-tastic
6. Hundreds of comments...
“Met one in college. He seemed normal at the time, although we rarely talked. We had literally one class together.
He friend requested me on Facebook, and I accepted. Soon after, he asked me out on Facebook, and I rejected him.
He started staring at me in the one class we had together and followed me around a lot.
One day, I got a text from my mom telling me I should check my Facebook. I maybe looked at it once a day at the time.
He had commented on every single post I made, every picture, anything on my wall. Literally everything he could.
Every comment was different too, but all were some variation of how I’m a slut. How all I’m good for is to please a man and produce his offspring… if he finds me worthy.
He planned it out well, I think, because the semester ended the week before. Which was good for me, I guess; I didn’t have to see him anymore.
I blocked him then deleted my Facebook. I was rarely using it anyway. He put so much effort into those comments-hundreds of them. Just weird.”
- ZanderBramble
That is a lot of effort to be awful.
7. Well, what introduction do you need?
“I got a guy who asked me if I would use his face as a toilet.
No introduction, no build-up, just that.”
- mythirdpersonality
8. Ask first...
“I’m coming to (your state). Can I stalk you?” I mean, credit for asking before stalking, but c’mon…
- Girl_Anachronism1
9. Man with a plan...
“Had a guy who used to patronize the gas station I worked at message me asking if I had any interest in him.
I said I don’t have any interest in anyone, especially since he has a girlfriend.
He basically explained that his plan was to cheat on his girlfriend because he “walked in on it and got to see it happen.”
So instead of leaving, he was going to try to convince me that doing the same to her was a good idea. So gross.”
- Hannymal
10. Too creepy.
“A guy wanted to pay me to send him a picture of my nose. The dude had a nose fetish, but he was also very specific about dimensions.
He wanted the pics with a ruler to show that the nose is only a little bit more than 1.5 inches wide.
I ended up not doing it because I was way too creeped out over $10.”
- lilyxpham
11. Crush bugs for me...
“Will you step on insects and film it for money? Here’s an example video.”
- PoisonTheOgres
12. Stupidity gene and racists...
“Started getting DMs from some random guy telling me that he ‘hopes my family dies from corona’ and calling me a ‘low IQ r*tarded b*tch.’
When he started telling me to ‘go back to where I come from’ and messaging ‘cao ni ma c*nt,’ I realized he was a racist targeting me for being Asian because I have the Vietnamese flag in my bio, which he mistook for the Chinese one.
The stupidity gene runs high in racists.”
- helios626
13. A poetic soul…
“Not a DM, but I once received a two-page poem that described how distracting my breasts were and how he wanted to smear Cheeto dust/Cheetle on them to lick off.
I had known the guy for a couple of months?
He will forever be known as either Poem Guy or Cheeto Guy to my friends.”
- CatsOverFlowers
14. Lovely smile... for a vampire...
“Your smile is so lovely. If you were a vampire, I wouldn’t even be afraid of you biting my neck later.”
- Trouble_in-paradise
15. Underage...
“I’m 15, and a man in probably his 40s said he wanted a friendship with me.
The next message was ‘I want you as a soulmate,’ and when I said I was underage, he said things like ‘age is just a number,’ ‘I don’t care,’ and ‘that’s okay.’
I get creepy men in my DMs all the time, so I have a folder of screenshots from them on my phone.”
- may-b-not-ok
That last one is especially hard to read.
Cyberpsychology experts have found that online communication can often lead to misunderstandings, particularly in contexts where intentions are ambiguous.
Research shows that the anonymity of the internet can embolden individuals to express themselves in ways they might avoid in face-to-face interactions.
This disinhibition effect, while sometimes beneficial for open communication, can also lead to negative experiences, particularly for women in vulnerable situations.
Studies highlight the importance of digital literacy and awareness in navigating online interactions safely.
The experiences shared by women about their creepy direct messages highlight a troubling aspect of online interactions.
The prevalence of creepy DMs illustrates a troubling aspect of social psychology known as the 'bystander effect.' A study from the University of Michigan found that individuals are less likely to intervene when they believe others are present, leading to a diffusion of responsibility.
To combat this, women share these experiences to raise awareness and validate their feelings. Creating support networks can empower individuals to address harmful behaviors, fostering a community that discourages such unsolicited advances.
The prevalence of inappropriate DMs, as highlighted in the Reddit discussion, underscores the urgent need for both individual and collective action. The shared experiences of women reveal that open dialogues about boundaries and consent are essential in mitigating harassment in digital spaces. The stories recounted range from unsettling to outright horrifying, showing that what some may consider charming is often a guise for unacceptable behavior.
By encouraging women to share their experiences, we not only validate their feelings but also build collective resilience against such harassment. The chilling anecdotes shared in the article serve as a powerful reminder of the work that still lies ahead in creating a safer digital landscape for everyone.
Some people should never be allowed near a message box.
Want another boundary disaster, read what happened when a roommate used OP’s dating profile without permission.
