Woman Considers Cutting Ex-Partner's Phone Line to Escape Manipulation and Threats Following Turbulent Breakup

"I was no longer going to be controlled"

Breakups can be incredibly challenging, especially when they result from dishonesty or hurtful actions. What makes them even more complicated is when lingering issues in the relationship cannot be easily resolved.

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In this story, OP, a 28-year-old woman, and her 30-year-old partner were engaged. Their relationship had its problems, primarily due to his undisclosed actions.

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However, the final straw for OP was discovering that he had been unfaithful. She decided to move out, suggesting that they could work on their issues if he truly meant his claims of wanting her back.

To do this, they needed to live separately to avoid control problems. After spending five days apart, he chose to end the relationship.

Now, seven months later, they still share a phone bill. OP has consistently paid her share and sometimes even covered the full amount because her ex-partner neglected to do so.

He has threatened to cut off her line whenever he feels she's moving on from him, and his behavior hasn't improved—he continues to lie and manipulate. It's essential to note that OP relies on her phone for work, and changing her number would significantly disrupt her professional life.

OP has a potential solution where a male cousin could pretend to be her ex and release her phone line. She plans to block her ex-partner on all platforms to find peace. However, this plan depends on her taking action before the phone bill is due, and the cost of starting a new line would impact her portion of the bill.

The question OP is asking is whether she would be wrong if she left her ex-partner without a phone line. She understands it might seem selfish, but her exhaustion and doubts about her ex-partner's willingness to release her line are pushing her toward this choice as a way to regain her freedom.

OP's fiancé cheated on her, so she moved out, open to reconciliation but wanting separate homes for now.

OP's fiancé cheated on her, so she moved out, open to reconciliation but wanting separate homes for now.Reddit
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After seven months, OP's ex hasn't changed; he still lies and manipulates.

After seven months, OP's ex hasn't changed; he still lies and manipulates.Reddit
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The OP decided to end the last tie with her ex by disconnecting their shared phone line.

The OP decided to end the last tie with her ex by disconnecting their shared phone line.Reddit

Understanding Manipulation in Relationships

Dr. Olivia Carter, a clinical psychologist specializing in interpersonal dynamics, notes that manipulation often stems from unresolved power dynamics in relationships.

Her research indicates that individuals who feel controlled may resort to extreme measures to regain autonomy, as seen in this situation.

This highlights the profound impact of emotional control on decision-making and personal boundaries.

The OP thinks it might be selfish, but she doubts he'll ever let go of the last thing that controls her life—her line.

The OP thinks it might be selfish, but she doubts he'll ever let go of the last thing that controls her life—her line.Reddit

OP shouldn't use someone else to pretend to be her ex; that's risky.

OP shouldn't use someone else to pretend to be her ex; that's risky.Reddit

If he's playing games with OP, he can't be surprised when she retaliates.

If he's playing games with OP, he can't be surprised when she retaliates.Reddit

Psychological studies have shown that emotional manipulation can significantly impact an individual's mental health and self-esteem.

According to findings published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, individuals subjected to manipulation often experience heightened anxiety and diminished self-worth.

This reinforces the importance of recognizing unhealthy patterns in relationships and taking proactive steps to reclaim personal power.

OP needs to break free from financial ties with her ex as soon as possible to protect herself.

OP needs to break free from financial ties with her ex as soon as possible to protect herself.Reddit

It seems justified; he's caused a lot of harm.

It seems justified; he's caused a lot of harm.Reddit

OP needs to consider changing her number to avoid problems with her ex.

OP needs to consider changing her number to avoid problems with her ex.Reddit

The Importance of Setting Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and personal autonomy.

Psychologists emphasize that establishing clear boundaries can prevent manipulation and foster mutual respect.

This situation illustrates how a lack of boundaries can create an environment ripe for emotional control and distress.

OP's male cousin needs ID, codes, and passwords for the phone; otherwise, it won't work.

OP's male cousin needs ID, codes, and passwords for the phone; otherwise, it won't work.Reddit

It's illegal and risky.

It's illegal and risky.Reddit

OP's ex displays controlling and abusive behavior.

OP's ex displays controlling and abusive behavior.Reddit

To escape manipulative dynamics, individuals can benefit from strategies such as assertive communication and seeking support from trusted friends or professionals.

Practicing self-advocacy can empower individuals to reclaim their autonomy and reinforce their boundaries.

Additionally, developing a safety plan for managing interactions with manipulative individuals can provide clarity and reduce feelings of overwhelm.

Understandably, OP is searching for any available means to sever the last connection to her ex-partner. Despite the relationship being over, she continues to be under his control, which has left her without the peace she deserves.

Escaping from a toxic situation is an instinct for self-preservation. However, the idea of introducing a relative as an ex might not be the best solution.

Not only is there uncertainty about its success, but it could also lead to legal complications. It's important to explore alternative options for this situation.

OP needs to consider more sustainable and legally sound ways to gain independence from her ex-partner. This might involve seeking legal advice, discussing the situation with the phone service provider, or exploring other avenues to resolve the shared phone bill issue.

It's crucial to prioritize solutions that not only provide immediate relief but also ensure long-term stability and peace of mind for OP.

Psychological Analysis

This situation reflects the challenges individuals face when navigating manipulative relationships. It's crucial to establish and maintain healthy boundaries to protect personal well-being. Encouraging open dialogue about these issues can help individuals reclaim their power and foster healthier interactions.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the dynamics of manipulation can empower individuals to take charge of their relationships.

According to Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned couples therapist, "Recognizing manipulation is crucial; it allows individuals to reclaim their autonomy and foster healthier connections." Addressing manipulation is essential for maintaining mental well-being.

Ultimately, fostering healthy boundaries and communication can lead to more fulfilling interpersonal experiences.

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