Dad Uses Daughter As Therapist For Every Problem Life Throws At Him, Daughter Limits Contact And Gets Blamed For His Depression

A 28-year-old woman didn’t just grow up with a broken home, she spent years managing her dad’s emotional emergencies. Her parents split right after she was born, and instead of moving on, her dad kept pulling her back in, whenever things fell apart.

Then it escalated. When her father tried to un-alive himself in front of her, she tried to talk him down and push him toward real help, but he ran. After that, every new crisis seemed to land on her shoulders, until she finally set limits and cut him off.

And now she’s stuck in the messy fallout, wondering if refusing contact makes her the villain.

Here's the story's headline

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OP's parents broke up right after she was born and since then, she has had to support him through that

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OP's dad then tried to un-alive himself in front of her and ran when she tried to talk to him and get him a therapist

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Her dad’s breakup-from-the-start story would be heavy enough, but the way he leaned on OP after his attempted un-aliving is what really twists the knife.

Parentification and Its Effects

Parentification occurs when a child is placed in a role that requires them to care for their parents, often leading to emotional distress.

Research in developmental psychology highlights how this dynamic can impact a child's emotional development and relationships.

In this case, the daughter is experiencing the heavy burden of her father's emotional needs, which can be detrimental to her own well-being.

The OP tried to message her dad to convince him to get help again, but to no avail

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

I'm worried I'm the asshole because I left my dad and excommunicated him because he's depressed.

The OP sounds very sensible and kind, and that's a really good thing

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This Redditor thinks it would be better for the OP to live with her mom

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When OP tried to get him to talk and get help again, he literally ran, and that’s when the “support him” dynamic turned into something far darker.

This AITAH about refusing to get pulled into your sister’s divorce drama echoes the same “stop using me as your crisis therapist” boundary fight.

Psychologists have found that individuals in parentified roles often struggle with feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

The OP should take care of herself, grow apart from her dad, and build her life

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The OP doesn't have to see him until he gets his life in line

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The OP loves her half-brother and wants to keep him in her life

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The moment OP started messaging him anyway, offering another chance, it only confirmed what she already felt, she was being treated like the emotional safety net.

Establishing emotional boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships, especially in parent-child dynamics.

Encouraging the daughter to prioritize her emotional needs can help her navigate her relationship with her father more effectively.

It is okay to love someone from afar

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This Redditor thinks the OP doesn't know what excommunication means

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So when OP limited contact and got blamed for her dad’s depression, even her own family situation, like keeping her half-brother in her life, became part of the argument.

OP's dad needs to realize that he is in charge of his emotions and his behavior and should not place the responsibility on her. People who drink too much frequently find excuses to attribute their troubles to others in order to continue drinking.

Redditors advised the OP to take care of herself, distance herself from him, and create a life for herself. She was declared not the AH in the story.

One practical solution is for the daughter to engage in therapy or counseling, where she can explore her feelings and develop coping strategies.

Research has shown that therapeutic interventions can significantly improve emotional resilience and assist individuals in reclaiming their own identities.

Encouraging her to seek support can empower her to establish healthier boundaries.

The situation presented in this article underscores the significant impact of parentification on emotional well-being.

Nobody gets to dump their depression on their kid and call it love.

Wondering if it’s wrong to push for therapy when your parents resist, read this AITA about demanding family therapy for a strained, uncooperative parent situation.