Dad Uses Daughter As Therapist For Every Problem Life Throws At Him, Daughter Limits Contact And Gets Blamed For His Depression

The majority of people can relate to what it's like to have challenging, uneasy, or stressful family interactions. Many young adult children find it tiring and emotionally taxing to spend time with their parents or other family members.

They frequently make an effort to stay in touch with their relatives while creating space in these circumstances. However, in some situations, known as parental alienation, adult children end up abandoning their parents and other family members.

There are several causes of parental estrangement, and the decision is rarely simple.

The safest and healthiest choice may be to "divorce your parents" as adults if you experienced abuse or other trauma at the hands of your parents. Other situations, though, are less obvious. 

Let's delve into today's story and find out why the OP excommunicated her dad. Since the OP was little, she has always been a therapist to her dad.

Her parents broke up right after she was born, and since then, she has had to support him through that. OP's dad later started dating a woman, and everything was going great until they began to fall out.

OP's dad spiraled and became more dependent on her for emotional support. After that, the OP left the house to live with her mom for a few months because she couldn't handle it.

It got to the point where the OP told him to get help or she wouldn't talk to him anymore.

Here's the story's headline

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OP's parents broke up right after she was born and since then, she has had to support him through that

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OP's dad then tried to un-alive himself in front of her and ran when she tried to talk to him and get him a therapist

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Parentification and Its Effects

Parentification occurs when a child is placed in a role that requires them to care for their parents, often leading to emotional distress.

Research in developmental psychology highlights how this dynamic can impact a child's emotional development and relationships.

In this case, the daughter is experiencing the heavy burden of her father's emotional needs, which can be detrimental to her own well-being.

The OP tried to message her dad to convince him to get help again, but to no avail

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

I'm worried I'm the asshole because I left my dad and excommunicated him because he's depressed.

The OP sounds very sensible and kind, and that's a really good thing

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This Redditor thinks it would be better for the OP to live with her mom

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Psychologists have found that individuals in parentified roles often struggle with feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

Studies indicate that these feelings can lead to anxiety and depression, particularly when the parent fails to recognize the child's needs.

Understanding this dynamic can help the daughter validate her feelings and recognize that it's okay to set boundaries.

The OP should take care of herself, grow apart from her dad, and build her life

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The OP doesn't have to see him until he gets his life in line

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The OP loves her half-brother and wants to keep him in her life

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The Importance of Emotional Boundaries

Establishing emotional boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships, especially in parent-child dynamics.

Research in family therapy demonstrates that clear boundaries can promote healthier interactions and emotional safety.

Encouraging the daughter to prioritize her emotional needs can help her navigate her relationship with her father more effectively.

It is okay to love someone from afar

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This Redditor thinks the OP doesn't know what excommunication means

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OP's dad needs to realize that he is in charge of his emotions and his behavior and should not place the responsibility on her. People who drink too much frequently find excuses to attribute their troubles to others in order to continue drinking.

Redditors advised the OP to take care of herself, distance herself from him, and create a life for herself. She was declared not the AH in the story.

One practical solution is for the daughter to engage in therapy or counseling, where she can explore her feelings and develop coping strategies.

Research has shown that therapeutic interventions can significantly improve emotional resilience and assist individuals in reclaiming their own identities.

Encouraging her to seek support can empower her to establish healthier boundaries.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights a classic case of parentification, where the child is forced into a caregiver role, often leading to emotional burnout and resentment. The father's reliance on his daughter for emotional support not only places an unfair burden on her but also reflects his avoidance of personal responsibility for his mental health. It’s crucial for her to set boundaries to protect her well-being, as doing so can foster healthier dynamics and allow both parties to seek appropriate support.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, parentification can have lasting effects on emotional health and relationships.

Dr. Anna Freud's work on child psychology suggests that recognizing these dynamics is the first step toward healing.

By prioritizing her own needs and seeking professional support, the daughter can reclaim her sense of agency and foster healthier relationships.