Entitled Father Expects Babysitter To "Sense" When Needed, Cuts Her Pay Drastically As Penalty

The two children she was babysitting did not take it well when a 20-year-old quit after an argument with the kids' dad. OP and the family that employed her had a great relationship.

They compensated her well for her 20-hour work week. They didn't have a set schedule for how those twenty hours were divided.

It varied based on the parents' schedules and their children's needs. On Friday, the father told OP to report at 1 p.m. the following Monday.

He said he needed to ask his wife just to be sure and promised to text OP about the final schedule. Monday came, and OP received no message from either parent.

She didn't follow up because she forgot about the message entirely. She was planning on showing up at 5 p.m. as usual when she received no special instructions from her employers.

Around 12:55, the dad called OP to ask if she was running late. OP said she thought she was supposed to be at their house later that afternoon because she had received no confirmation from him.

OP mentioned it would take her 25 minutes to get to their place when the dad said she was urgently needed. OP apologized for the misunderstanding, which the dad refused to accept.

He said OP would be useless to their kids if she showed up during their usual schedule

u/collegekit13

At 5:10 that afternoon, OP received another irate call from the dad. He asked if she was seriously not going to show up twice in one day.

u/collegekit13

OP was confused. He told her that she wasn't needed that day. The dad said OP should have been more proactive in showing that she cared for their children.

u/collegekit13

Understanding Entitlement and Its Effects

Dr. Paul Piff, a psychologist at UC Berkeley, explores how entitlement can manifest in interpersonal relationships.

His research shows that individuals with a strong sense of entitlement often exhibit a lack of empathy towards others, which can lead to abusive dynamics.

This situation reflects how entitlement can skew expectations for caregivers, creating an unhealthy power dynamic.

OP insisted that she wasn't wrong. The dad berated her further and called her a b*tch.

u/collegekit13

OP resigned before hanging up. An hour before she was set to go to her employer's house to train her replacement, OP received a long letter from them.

They fired her, deducted her pay for the next two weeks, and accused her of child endangerment. OP messaged her employers that since they fired her, she was under no obligation to continue working for them for two more weeks.

u/collegekit13

OP turned her phone off. When she finally answered their call, the dad called her an a**hole. They had to cancel a trip to take care of their kids, who were panicked about not seeing OP anymore.

u/collegekit13

Studies indicate that entitlement often stems from childhood experiences where individuals were not held accountable for their actions.

According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, entitlement can lead to a disregard for others' feelings and contributions, resulting in exploitation.

Recognizing these patterns can help caregivers set healthier boundaries with entitled individuals.

"We're so mad that you endangered our children. You're fired! But you must continue coming to work for $5!"

Sure-Maintenance7002, EinsTwo

If a babysitter put your kids in danger, would you still trust them around your kids?

Wonderful_Noise_9756

The dad couldn't admit that he made a mistake, so he overreacted and insulted the person he needed to take care of his children.

PaddyCow

Establishing Healthy Boundaries

Experts recommend that caregivers establish clear boundaries with entitled individuals to protect their well-being.

Setting limits on acceptable behavior can help foster mutual respect and prevent exploitation.

Research in clinical psychology emphasizes that boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships.

OP did all she could to rectify her employer's mistake. The subsequent events and his strong feelings are not her burden to carry.

TinyRascalSaurus

OP should stop beating herself up over the consequences of someone else's actions.

TiniestGhost

They would have made her life difficult if OP had agreed to the terms her former employer set. Those two weeks would have been hell.

MaybeAWalrus, collegekit13

Moreover, caregivers are encouraged to communicate their feelings assertively when boundaries are crossed.

Studies show that assertive communication can reduce the likelihood of conflict and promote understanding.

For instance, using 'I' statements such as 'I feel disrespected when my work is undervalued' can help express feelings without escalating tensions.

That dad is the kind of wealthy person who looks down on the people that provide services for him and his family, expects excellence from them, and yet, he won't acknowledge their contributions to ease his life.

Reddit

OP got out just in time. If she had tolerated her employer's abusive language even once, it would have escalated eventually.

He would always find fault in everything she did and make excuses to dock her pay. Redditors sided with OP on this issue and voted that she was not the a**hole.

The Role of Empathy in Conflict Resolution

Dr. Brené Brown's research on vulnerability highlights the importance of empathy in resolving conflicts.

When individuals approach conflicts with empathy, they can foster a deeper understanding of one another's perspectives.

Encouraging a culture of empathy can significantly improve interactions, even in challenging situations like this.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the complexities involved when entitlement intersects with caregiving roles.

It's crucial for caregivers to assert their boundaries while fostering understanding to maintain healthy relationships.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Research demonstrates that entitlement can negatively impact interpersonal relationships and caregiving dynamics.

As psychological insights indicate, establishing boundaries and fostering empathy are essential for healthy interactions.

Ultimately, caregivers must prioritize their well-being while navigating these challenging dynamics.