Mother Tells Daughter to Finally Let Go of Her Broken Promise from the Past and to Stop Using It as an Excuse

Parenting is filled with challenging moments, and sometimes, in the heat of the moment, we make decisions we later regret. One Reddit user shared her experience of making a false promise to her daughter to keep her quiet in an ER waiting room and the lasting impact it had on their relationship.

Here’s OP's story and the complexities involved in handling past mistakes and current consequences. Several years ago, OP found herself in a difficult situation.

Her son, then 8 years old, had busted his lip and needed stitches. OP’s husband went to the back with their son, while OP stayed in the waiting room with their daughter, who was 6 at the time.

To keep her daughter from whining and disturbing others, OP made a false promise, saying they would buy a tablet after leaving the hospital. OP admits this was a desperate and thoughtless move, but she was trying to manage the situation as best as she could.

Once her son was stitched up and they were on their way home, her daughter eagerly asked about the tablet. OP’s husband, surprised, said they couldn’t afford a tablet. When her daughter realized the promise was a lie, she had a massive meltdown.

She screamed, kicked the seats, and called OP a liar, stupid, ugly, and bad. OP had to discipline her for her behavior, so she sent her to bed early that night. The punishment wasn’t for being upset or crying, but for the disrespectful way she spoke and her aggressive behavior.

Years later, OP’s daughter, now 14, frequently brings up the incident whenever she’s in trouble or breaks a promise. She accuses OP of always lying and recalls being sent to bed "about three hours early" (though OP clarifies it was barely an hour early).

OP is frustrated and told her daughter to let it go, explaining that it was a mistake any parent could make.

A Desperate Attempt to Calm Her Daughter

Source

The Aftermath of the ER Visit Was Difficult

Source

The Impact of Broken Promises on Family Dynamics

In family relationships, broken promises can lead to a breakdown of trust. As Dr. Tara Brach, a renowned psychologist and meditation teacher, states, "Trust is the bedrock of healthy relationships, and when it is compromised, it can create deep emotional wounds." This highlights that trust is foundational to familial bonds and can be severely impacted by unmet expectations. When promises are broken, especially by a parent, it can evoke feelings of abandonment and insecurity in children. Dr. Dan Siegel, a child psychiatrist, emphasizes, "Children who experience broken promises may struggle with relational difficulties later in life, as they learn to navigate trust and intimacy." Such insights underline the importance of maintaining commitments within family dynamics.

Handling the Immediate Fallout of Their Relationship

Source

The Incident Haunts OP for Years

Source

Psychologists emphasize the importance of empathy in addressing past transgressions. Research indicates that empathetic communication fosters healing and allows for the rebuilding of trust. When parents acknowledge their child's feelings and validate their experiences, it can significantly enhance the parent-child relationship.

Empathetic listening promotes resilience and helps children develop emotional regulation skills, which are essential for healthy relationships.

A Recent Confrontation from Her Daughter and Her Response

Source

Reflecting on Her Childhood and the Incident

Source

Strategies for Rebuilding Trust

To effectively address the issue of broken promises, parents can establish consistent communication strategies. According to Dr. Michael L. Smith, a family therapist, regular check-ins can help families stay connected and reinforce trust.

Additionally, setting small, achievable commitments can help rebuild credibility over time. When parents prove they can follow through on these smaller promises, it can gradually restore their children's confidence in them.

OP Is Now Clarifying Misconceptions and Seeking Judgment

Source

Lost Her Trust That Day

u/south3y

Research suggests that family therapy can be beneficial in addressing broken promises and their emotional repercussions. A study from the University of Minnesota found that families who engage in therapy report better communication and understanding, leading to healthier relational dynamics.

Therapeutic environments allow for guided discussions where family members can express their feelings about past grievances without judgment, fostering healing and connection.

OP Did Lie to Her

u/TRoseee

u/Saffiyier

This situation highlights the long-term effects of seemingly small moments on a parent-child relationship. Ultimately, OP's frustration is understandable, but so is her daughter’s lingering hurt.

By addressing the past mistake with empathy and striving to build a stronger, more honest relationship moving forward, OP can help her daughter let go of the past.

Taking the time to discuss what happened openly and acknowledging her daughter's feelings can be a pivotal step in healing old wounds. It’s important for OP to express genuine remorse for any pain caused and to listen actively to her daughter.

32-Year-Old Redditor Still Complains to His Mother Over a Broken Promise

u/Mandielephant

She and Her Daughter Could Leave the ER

u/bedofagony

The Role of Forgiveness in Family Relationships

Forgiveness is a critical component in healing from broken promises. According to Dr. Fred Luskin, a psychologist and author, the act of forgiving can lead to improved emotional well-being and relationship satisfaction.

Encouraging children to express their feelings about the broken promise while also discussing the concept of forgiveness can promote emotional maturity and resilience. This dialogue can be crucial in teaching children how to navigate relational complexities in the future.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the profound impact that broken promises can have on family relationships. When children feel let down by a parent, it can lead to deep-seated feelings of insecurity and mistrust.

It's essential for parents to acknowledge these feelings and work towards rebuilding that trust through consistent, empathetic communication.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, addressing broken promises within family relationships requires a blend of empathy, communication, and forgiveness. By fostering an environment that encourages open dialogue, families can rebuild trust and strengthen their bonds. Healing takes time, but with commitment and understanding, families can navigate these challenges successfully.