Daughter Claims Mom Favors Successful Brothers, Faces Ultimatum to Earn Cosmetology License or Move Out

A 48-year-old mom of five was accused by her youngest and only daughter of favoring her sons over her. The argument started when OP bought a building to help her son, Hudson, jump-start his business.

Her daughter and Hudson's twin, Hope, found out and asked OP to do the same for her career. She studied cosmetology but hasn't passed the state board exam to obtain a license.

OP declined to purchase the salon Hope wanted because she didn't have a license. OP warned her dad not to buy the salon Hope desired when he offered, as he would be entangled in legal issues.

OP only agreed to purchase a building for her son because he already had half of the money for it, but OP didn't want him to wipe out his entire savings. She gave him five years until he needed to start paying for half of the building in monthly installments, but he already started repaying her.

To add to the drama, OP found out that Hope worked in her sketchy friend's salon. When OP confronted her about it, Hope said she wouldn't have to work for her friend if OP had bought her the building.

She claimed her late father would have bought the property for her without any questions. OP told Hope that while her father loved her, he wasn't foolish.

When the salon was shut down for illegal activities, Hope asked OP if she could entertain customers in OP's home.

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OP declined because she didn't want strangers in her house. She instead encouraged Hope to retake the licensure test.

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The Emotional Impact of Familial Favoritism

Feeling that a parent favors successful siblings can deeply affect one's self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

Research by Dr. Jessica B. Lahey highlights how parental favoritism can lead to sibling rivalry and feelings of inadequacy, particularly in children.

These dynamics often create a hostile environment where individuals feel compelled to compete for parental affection and validation.

OP got tired of Hope dragging her feet, so she gave her an ultimatum. She even posted a calendar that said, "Hope's Countdown to Eviction."

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Hope rallied her grandfather and brothers to support her against OP. Their opinions were heard but not considered.

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Studies indicate that perceived favoritism can lead to long-term emotional issues, including anxiety and depression, which can persist into adulthood.

According to research published in the Journal of Family Psychology, open discussions about favoritism can help mitigate these feelings and promote healthier family relationships.

Understanding these emotional patterns is crucial for fostering positive dynamics within families.

OP refused to entertain Hope's accusation that she was biased against her. OP's frustration with her daughter was evident in her post, as she also ended up caring for the dog that Hope adopted.

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OP was doing great until she resorted to petty punishment. She risks courting her daughter's resentment if she stoops to her level.

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Addressing Feelings of Favoritism

To address feelings of favoritism, it’s essential for families to engage in open communication about feelings and perceptions.

Experts recommend creating a safe space where all family members can express their concerns without fear of judgment.

Research shows that fostering a culture of transparency can enhance understanding and reduce feelings of resentment.

It's good that OP set expectations and boundaries for her daughter. She wants to motivate her to make better decisions, but the calendar undermines all of those intentions.

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OP said in another comment that she would take the calendar down. She explained it was a mistake borne out of frustration.

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Additionally, encouraging parents to recognize and celebrate each child's unique strengths and contributions can foster a sense of belonging.

Helping children understand that success can take many forms can promote a healthier perspective on familial relationships.

Ultimately, fostering an inclusive environment can lead to healthier family dynamics and emotional well-being.

Could Hope still be struggling with her father's passing?

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OP said they all got therapy when her husband passed away. She also asked Hope if she needed professional help, but her daughter declined.

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A majority of the Redditors agreed that OP didn't act like a jerk. They said that while the calendar countdown to Hope's eviction was petty, it came from an understandable place of frustration.

They did feel that OP treated Hope unfairly for not being as successful as her brothers. Redditors advised OP to give Hope some time to grow instead of giving her "tough love" whenever she makes an immature decision.

OP needs to sit Hope down. Apologizing for the calendar should be the first thing she does before they can tackle their frustrations.

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Hope sees how OP supports her brothers; she can't fathom that the support was not a spur-of-the-moment decision.

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Hope could also be afraid that OP would constantly compare her to her brothers' success. That kind of pressure can be daunting.

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Most of the comments agreed that Hope isn't mature enough to run a business. She needs to get her license first and then get a job to learn from the experts in her field.

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Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the emotional challenges posed by perceptions of favoritism within families, leading to feelings of inadequacy and competition.

Encouraging families to engage in open discussions about these feelings can help alleviate misunderstandings and foster a sense of belonging among all members.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, feelings of favoritism within families can have significant emotional impacts on individuals.

By fostering open communication and recognizing each member's unique contributions, families can work towards creating more equitable and supportive environments.

Ultimately, recognizing the emotional significance of these discussions is crucial for maintaining healthy familial relationships.