Young Man's Deadbeat Dad Vanished When He Was 6 - His Mom Thinks It Is Wrong To Accept His Inheritance

Sometimes the past doesn’t stay buried. No matter how far you’ve come or how carefully you’ve rebuilt your life, it has a way of resurfacing—unexpected, unresolved and complicated.

Especially when the person who hurt you the most suddenly offers something that could change your future. The OP is 19 now, but his last clear memory of his biological father is from when he was around six years old.

He was drunk and yelling at his mother while OP hid under the kitchen table, wishing it would stop. OP's dad had a serious alcohol problem and not long after that, he fled the country and disappeared from his life completely.

No birthdays, no calls, no child support... nothing. OP's mom eventually met his stepfather, who raised him as his own son.

He showed up for everything and became the stable, loving parent OP's biological father never was. Then a few months ago, OP received a formal notice from his biological dad.

His mother - OP's grandmother, whom he never met - had died. He wrote that he didn’t expect the OP to attend the funeral or contact him.

He admitted he had been a terrible father and said nothing could excuse it but he wanted to pass her apartment on to him. OP was super happy about the news but to his family, it feels like reopening an old wound.

The OP writes...

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He wrote that he knows how terrible he was and nothing can excuse that

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If the OP decides to accept the apartment, it does not oblige him to anything

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

AITA for accepting the aparment from my terrible father, while my mother told me to not do it. 2. I might be AH, because I did not listen to my parents and still did it.

Let's head into the comments section and find out what other Redditors have to say about the story

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This Redditor can understand the concerns of OP's mom

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They can't expect the OP to reject a free apartment

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Never give up organic opportunities out of spite

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The OP replied the above comment saying...

From what I understand from the lawyer, in our county you inherit automatically and if you don't want it, you fill out a document to give it up.My real father was the first closest living relative and refused it, meaning that I was automatically next in line - that means I am accepting inheritance from my grandmother and that has nothing to do with my father.My country doesn't have an inheritance tax and land tax for apartments is a very tiny amount. He knows where we live anyway, as we never moved.

And the comments continues...

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This Redditor has a similar story to share

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It does not have to change a thing

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What OP's mom is afraid of

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Sometimes doing what’s practical doesn’t feel the same as doing what’s loyal. What OP's father did is unforgivable, but OP also can’t ignore that this apartment could shape his future in ways his real dad never did.

The OP is torn between protecting his family’s peace and protecting his own opportunity. Maybe the real question isn’t about the apartment at all but whether accepting help from someone who failed you means you owe them anything in return.

In the end, the OP was declared not the AH.