Young Man's Deadbeat Dad Vanished When He Was 6 - His Mom Thinks It Is Wrong To Accept His Inheritance

Some people don’t recognize a favor, and this Reddit thread is basically proof of that. A young man’s deadbeat father vanished when he was 6, leaving his mom to pick up the pieces, emotionally and financially.

Now the timeline flips. The OP is staring at an inheritance-related apartment situation, and his mom is telling him not to accept it. The father may have refused his share, but because of how the paperwork works where they live, OP ends up next in line, meaning the apartment is tied to his grandmother, not the man who bailed. Still, it feels messy, because it is not just money, it is the same family name that disappeared years ago.

And that is why the real question is not just about an apartment, it’s about whether accepting it makes him a jerk.

The OP writes...

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He wrote that he knows how terrible he was and nothing can excuse that

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If the OP decides to accept the apartment, it does not oblige him to anything

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When OP explains the inheritance rules and how his deadbeat father refused first, the comment section immediately starts side-eyeing the mom’s “don’t accept it” stance.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

AITA for accepting the aparment from my terrible father, while my mother told me to not do it. 2. I might be AH, because I did not listen to my parents and still did it.

Let's head into the comments section and find out what other Redditors have to say about the story

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This Redditor can understand the concerns of OP's mom

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They can't expect the OP to reject a free apartment

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Never give up organic opportunities out of spite

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That’s when OP’s mom’s fear comes into focus, she worries that taking the apartment means opening the door to the kind of drama her family already survived once.

It’s also like the AITA case where a sister’s endless babysitting demands sparked a boundary showdown, mom’s caregiver sibling vs. the sister who kept asking.

OP also makes it clear the apartment is a practical win, his country has no inheritance tax, the land tax is tiny, and the family never moved so the father already knows where they are.

The OP replied the above comment saying...

From what I understand from the lawyer, in our county you inherit automatically and if you don't want it, you fill out a document to give it up.My real father was the first closest living relative and refused it, meaning that I was automatically next in line - that means I am accepting inheritance from my grandmother and that has nothing to do with my father.My country doesn't have an inheritance tax and land tax for apartments is a very tiny amount. He knows where we live anyway, as we never moved.

And the comments continues...

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This Redditor has a similar story to share

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It does not have to change a thing

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What OP's mom is afraid of

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After someone points out that doing the smart thing is not the same as doing the loyal thing, the thread lands on the verdict that OP is not the AH.

Sometimes doing what’s practical doesn’t feel the same as doing what’s loyal. What OP's father did is unforgivable, but OP also can’t ignore that this apartment could shape his future in ways his real dad never did.

The OP is torn between protecting his family’s peace and protecting his own opportunity. Maybe the real question isn’t about the apartment at all but whether accepting help from someone who failed you means you owe them anything in return.

In the end, the OP was declared not the AH.

He might be getting an apartment, but he’s still trying to figure out if it comes with emotional strings attached.

Before you decide what to do, read the AITA fight over not sharing inheritance with a sister who didn’t help care for mom.