Dealing with a Partners Excessive Drinking at Christmas Dinner: AITA?

Christmas dinner brought the usual holiday chaos, but for this 29-year-old woman, it turned into a full-on drinking disaster. Her 31-year-old partner comes from a family where alcohol is basically part of the decor, and every year seems to ratchet things up a notch.

Last Christmas, he went from “a drink or two” to slurring, embarrassing her in front of her family, and eventually passing out. This year, they were at his family’s dinner, and he was already knocking back drinks before food even hit the table, getting loud, making inappropriate jokes, and brushing off her attempts to slow him down.

Now she’s wondering if she’s the asshole for pushing back when he insists she’s ruining the holiday fun.

Original Post

So I'm (29F) and my partner (31M) come from families where alcohol is a big part of celebrations, especially at Christmas dinner. For background, my partner enjoys a drink or two, but when we're with family, it's like he can't stop.

Last Christmas, he got way too drunk at my family gathering, said some embarrassing things, and ended up passing out. It was mortifying for me.

This year, we were at his family's Christmas dinner, and he was knocking back drinks like it was a competition. By the time dinner started, he was already slurring his words and being overly loud.

I tried to discreetly ask him to slow down, but he brushed me off. As the night went on, he got more sloshed and started making inappropriate jokes.

When I confronted him, he got defensive and accused me of ruining the holiday fun. It was upsetting to see him like that in front of his family, especially since his parents don't seem to mind his drinking.

I know it's a sensitive topic for him because he uses alcohol to cope with stress, but I can't stand seeing him like this. So AITA?

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By the time dinner started at his parents’ place, her partner was already slurring, and she knew this Christmas was headed for round two of last year’s humiliation.

A therapist specializing in addiction treatment suggests that tackling the issue of excessive drinking should start with empathy and understanding. Acknowledging the partner's struggle with alcohol can foster a supportive environment where they feel safe discussing their behavior.

These conversations should focus on feelings rather than accusations, promoting a more productive dialogue. Setting mutual goals, such as limiting alcohol intake at family events, can also be an effective strategy for couples to explore together.

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When she tried to ask him to slow down, he brushed her off like her concerns were the problem, not his behavior.

This is similar to the AITA about leaving an entire inheritance to a financially dependent youngest son.

Promoting Healthy Boundaries

Ultimately, it's about finding balance and ensuring that both partners feel heard and respected.

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The jokes got inappropriate, the room got awkward, and the moment she confronted him, he flipped it on her, saying she ruined the fun.

This vulnerability can pave the way for more meaningful discussions about boundaries and expectations, transforming potentially awkward moments into opportunities for growth.

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Even worse, his parents seemed to shrug it off like this is just how Christmas goes, leaving her stuck between “support him” and “stop embarrassing everyone.”

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

The recent Reddit discussion highlights the struggles many face when a partner's drinking becomes a source of tension.

This scenario illustrates the intricate relationship between alcohol consumption and emotional coping strategies.

The family dinner did not end well, and now she’s stuck asking if she’s the asshole for finally drawing a line.

Wait until you see what happened when a father refused auto-pay on his son’s student loans.