Dealing with a Rude Coworker: AITA for Standing Up for Myself?

AITA for standing up to a rude coworker who accused me of pressuring her? Colleagues weigh in on whether I handled the situation appropriately.

Damjan

Published in Interesting
25 Dec 2025

Dealing with a Rude Coworker: AITA for Standing Up for Myself?

Navigating workplace dynamics can be tricky, especially in small teams where tensions can run high. In this Reddit thread, a newcomer to a small business finds themselves in a heated confrontation with a coworker who reacts strongly to what was intended as a casual lunch invitation.

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The original poster (OP) describes how, after only three weeks on the job, they offered to accompany a colleague, L, to grab food after she expressed her hunger. However, what should have been a simple suggestion escalated into a dramatic exchange, where L accused OP of trying to undermine her and even threatened to report them.

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The OP felt compelled to stand up for themselves, warning L that if her hostility continued, they would have to involve their manager. This incident raises questions about workplace boundaries, communication styles, and the potential for misunderstandings in a high-pressure environment.

As commenters weigh in on whether OP's response was justified, the discussion opens the floor for a broader discussion of handling conflicts with coworkers, especially when one is still finding their footing in a new role. What strategies have others employed in similar situations, and how can one effectively balance assertiveness with collegiality?

Original Post

So for context, I started working at a small business about 3 weeks ago, so small there is only three of us and we don't have fixed lunch breaks and usually I work with this woman L. Now this day I had bought my lunch in advance so I wouldn't have to walk anywhere too far that day because I had hurt my leg the week prior, about an hour into the day L said she's hungry and wants to go to the shop across the mall where we work, to get food but wanted to wait for the boss to bring the rest of the stock for the day, I said it was no problem.

So The boss comes and delivers the stock and when he leaves again, I innocently ask her if she wants to go get food quickly. That's when L goes off on me telling me that she doesn't answer to me and that I should stop pressuring her to do things.

I try to calm her down by saying that it's what *she* said she wanted to do and that I was just trying to be courteous but she keeps going on and on about how 'I want to make her look bad for being out of the shop too much' and by 'getting my food before we open so I don't have to leave', L kept getting angrier so I finally tell her I won't allow her to speak to my like that and if she kept going I'd tell our manager (the other person who works there). So I feel like I might have been the a*****e to threaten L with our manager but it was obvious that nothing else was going to calm her down.

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AITA?