Dealing with Unhygienic Massage Partner: AITA for Addressing Concerns?

A 28-year-old massage student, OP, thought her practice sessions with a classmate would be no big deal, until Beverly started turning “practice” into a gross little food and germ festival. At first, it was harmless snacks, like crackers, right there on the table during sessions.

Then it escalated fast. Beverly brought tuna salad and even dropped some on OP’s arm mid-session. After that, she sneezed into her hands and kept massaging without cleaning or sanitizing, and OP was left staring at the absolute lack of hygiene rules in front of her.

OP switched partners quietly, and that’s when the drama really kicked off.

Original Post

So I'm (28F) currently in massage school, and recently, I got paired with a classmate, Beverly, for practice sessions. Beverly seemed nice at first, but during our sessions, I noticed some behaviors that made me extremely uncomfortable.

Beverly had a habit of snacking during our massage practice. It started with small snacks like crackers, but one day, she brought tuna salad and even dropped some on my arm during a session.

Another incident that crossed the line was when Beverly sneezed into her hands and then continued massaging without cleaning or sanitizing them. I was taken aback by her lack of basic hygiene, especially in a context like massage school where cleanliness is crucial.

After these instances, I knew I had to address the situation. I quickly found a new practice partner without directly confronting Beverly.

However, word got around, and Beverly confronted me about switching partners. She seemed hurt and asked if it was because of her snacking habits.

I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I was honest about my discomfort with the food and hygiene issues. Beverly was defensive, claiming that it was normal to eat during sessions, and a small sneeze shouldn't be a big deal.

She accused me of overreacting and making her feel bad. The tension between us is palpable now, and other classmates are taking sides.

Some agree with me about hygiene standards, while others think I should have been more understanding of Beverly's habits. I can't shake off the feeling that I may have handled the situation poorly, but at the same time, the thought of continuing sessions with Beverly made me incredibly uneasy.

So, Reddit, based on how I handled this situation, AITA?

Hygiene is crucial in any therapeutic practice, particularly in massage therapy.

Comment from u/JadedButCool

Comment from u/coffeebean_87

Comment from u/travelingTales

Beverly’s crackers were annoying enough, but the tuna salad incident was the moment OP’s stomach turned for real.

Communication can often alleviate tensions in professional relationships.

Comment from u/moonchild_333

Comment from u/socksNsandals22

Comment from u/musiclover_56

The sneeze into her hands, followed by zero sanitizing, is what made OP feel like she had to act, not just complain.

It’s giving the same vibe as the Redditor who refused to be their friend’s 6:30 a.m. chauffeur, even when everyone called them selfish.

In massage therapy, establishing these boundaries can enhance the learning experience and minimize discomfort. Open discussions about personal preferences and hygiene expectations can lead to improved teamwork and a more positive atmosphere for all involved.

Comment from u/snowboardingqueen99

Comment from u/mochi_bunny13

Comment from u/neonlights_forever

Instead of confronting Beverly, OP found a new partner, and Beverly immediately noticed, taking it personally.

This can involve creating checklists or reminders for hygiene practices that all students agree to follow.

Comment from u/adventures_of_vic

Now classmates are split, with Beverly insisting eating during sessions is “normal” and OP wondering if she handled it wrong.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

In the realm of massage therapy, hygiene transcends personal preference to become a cornerstone of professionalism.

In situations like this, it’s common for individuals to prioritize personal comfort and safety, especially in close-contact professions like massage therapy. The original poster’s reaction likely stems from a strong need for hygiene and trust, which are crucial in therapeutic settings.

Meanwhile, defensiveness could reflect a lack of awareness or understanding of professional standards, highlighting how differing perspectives on hygiene can strain relationships and complicate communication in collaborative environments.

OP might not be the problem, but Beverly’s hygiene drama sure made the classroom feel contagious.

Still not sure about boundaries and “inheritance” pressure? See why this mom says it’s wrong to accept her vanished son’s inheritance, after his deadbeat dad vanished when he was 6.