Debating Walking Out on Friends Who Made Me Wait 2 Hours: AITA?

Some people treat “I’ll be there at five” like it’s a suggestion, not a promise. In this Reddit post, OP did everything right, showed up on time at the train station, and still got left hanging for two full hours while Andy’s excuses piled up.

OP has been part of a small film-program friend group for about a year and a half, with Andy, Chris, and Jeremy, and the whole dynamic already felt off. OP says they were often the “backup friend” and the butt of jokes, then the group makes a plan near Andy’s place, an hour away. OP confirms the meetup time, but Andy responds rudely, the messages go quiet, and when Andy finally shows up late, he frames it like traffic is OP’s fault.

Now OP is stuck asking whether walking out made them the jerk, or if the group finally crossed a line.

Original Post

For context, I've been friends with this small group of people in my college's film program for about a year and a half now. There's four of us-- me, Andy, Chris, and Jeremy.

Those aren't their real names but I guess they're close enough. Most of us live in the downtown area of our state's biggest city, but Andy lives in the outskirts of the suburbs.

For the longest time I felt like the "backup friend" as I would rarely be included when they would make plans to h**g out; and I also felt like the butt of every joke. The other Monday, we made plans to hangout around where Andy lives (an hour away from everyone else).

I texted in the groupchat what time we should meet up at the train station so Andy can pick us up, and Chris says, "He gets off work around five I think." I then ping Andy to make 100% sure what time we should be there. His actual response.

"Chris just send a f*****g text. Do you not know how to f*****g read bro?" Okay, I guess, but kind of rude.

Five it is. The next day, I get ready at 3, leave around 4, and get there right before 5.

I text to see if any of the other guys are on their way. No response.

I wait until 5:30. I text a few more times.

Still no response. I'm standing here at the train station in the cold, with zero communication.

I don't get any response from literally anyone until 6:00. "I'm on my way now.

I'll be there *in an hour*." **That's a total of** **two hours after the time I was given; and that he spoken to me like a jerk for trying to clarify.** I just go ahead and leave, and tell them how cartoonishly inconsiderate of my time that was. The response, "I can't do much about traffic dawg, I ain't Moses of the modern age." It's been over a week and a half and I still haven't gotten a single apology from anyone.

Am I overexaggerating, or was that a d**k move?

The experience of waiting for friends can trigger feelings of rejection and disrespect, significantly impacting self-esteem. Research has shown that social exclusion can lead to increased feelings of loneliness and anxiety (Williams, 2007). When individuals feel like "backups," as this OP described, it can exacerbate these feelings, leading to a negative self-perception. Understanding the psychological implications of social situations like this can help individuals process their emotions and decide on appropriate responses.

For example, reflecting on one's value in relationships can help reinforce self-worth.

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OP leaves their place around 4, gets to the train station right before five, and starts texting Andy, Chris, and Jeremy, only to get silence.

A study from the University of California, Berkeley, suggests that effective communication is key in maintaining healthy relationships.

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Practicing 'I' statements can help communicate feelings without assigning blame.

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When Andy finally replies at 6:00 with “I’ll be there in an hour,” OP clock-watches the delay and realizes they were given a completely different timeline.

It also reminded me of the single friend who refused the bunk bed while couples demanded double rooms.

Social psychology research highlights the importance of personal boundaries in friendships.

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OP also remembers Andy’s earlier attitude, the rude “send a text” response and the way he snapped at OP for clarifying the plan.

The emotional impact of feeling disrespected by friends can lead to a range of negative feelings, including anger and betrayal. Research indicates that emotional intelligence plays a critical role in managing these feelings (Mayer & Salovey, 1997). The OP could benefit from developing emotional awareness to better navigate interpersonal conflicts. Recognizing one's emotions and understanding their triggers can empower individuals to respond thoughtfully rather than reactively.

Engaging in mindfulness practices can enhance emotional regulation skills.

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It’s essential to consider that friendships are complex and can be influenced by factors like personal stressors and life changes. In this case, the OP might reflect on whether their friends are facing external pressures that led to the delay. A compassionate approach could foster empathy and strengthen the group dynamic.

Encouraging a culture of understanding can lead to stronger connections.

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After OP leaves and calls the whole thing cartoonishly inconsiderate, the group hits back with “I ain’t Moses of the modern age,” and nobody apologizes.</p>

Finally, the importance of self-advocacy in friendships cannot be overstated.

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Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

The situation presented in the Reddit post underscores the complexities of friendship dynamics, particularly when communication breaks down. The OP's experience of waiting two hours in the cold reveals a troubling lack of consideration from their friends, prompting a reevaluation of loyalty and self-worth within the group. In navigating such conflicts, it is essential for individuals to engage in honest dialogues about their feelings and expectations. By addressing these issues head-on, friends can not only resolve misunderstandings but also cultivate deeper, more meaningful connections that enhance the quality of their relationships.

OP might be better off finding friends who can actually show up on time, not just send late messages and jokes.

For another family blowup, read how a brother kept calling collect over commissary debt.