Woman Who Cleared Her Debts Wants Her BF To Do The Same Before Marriage And Offers Him Plan And Support, But He Just Wants Her To Pay Off His Debt, Calls Her Plans "Weird"

Living debt-free is, for the majority of people, a worthwhile aim that signifies a certain level of financial freedom. Debt relief can help you feel less stressed.

Student loans, car loans, and credit card debt can feel overwhelming. But what does being debt-free actually entail?

For some people, being debt-free means having no outstanding debt, while for others, it may include having only "good debt," such as a home loan with a low interest rate. The word "debt" has an unattractive four letters.

It can make your life a complete misery, is easy to slip into, and is difficult to escape. The OP in today's story has about $67k in debt from college, his car, and a little bit on his credit card, but his fiancée is debt-free.

She worked hard to pay off her debts and even has almost $300K in investments, savings, etc. The OP's fiancée pulled out a spreadsheet of his debts and pointed out that if he put all of his paychecks, minus maybe $200 a month for "fun money," into paying off his debt, he would be debt-free by the wedding.

But instead, the OP wanted her to just pay off his debts so he could pay her back without interest. Keep scrolling to read the entire story in full. 

The Title

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The OP's fiancée got a few scholarships to help with college

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We chose a date 3 years from now, since some of our family is out of the country and needs to save

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Financial Expectations in Romantic Relationships

The differing expectations regarding debt repayment in this relationship reflect common financial dynamics in romantic partnerships. Research indicates that financial compatibility is a crucial factor in relationship satisfaction. According to David Bach, a financial author and speaker, "When couples align their financial goals, they create a stronger foundation for their relationship." Furthermore, Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship expert, emphasizes that "Open conversations about finances can foster intimacy and trust, which are essential for a healthy partnership."

The Role of Financial Independence

Dr. Angela Smith, a financial behavior expert at Duke University, emphasizes the importance of financial independence in romantic relationships.

In this case, the woman's desire for her partner to be debt-free before marriage reflects a common concern about financial stability and shared responsibility.

Understanding these dynamics can help clarify the motivations behind such requests.

She seemed unhappy with this and said she would have to think about it first

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And the comments from other Redditors roll in...

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This Redditor would tell her to cancel the wedding

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Financial stress can create significant strain on relationships, particularly when partners have differing views on debt management. Psychologists suggest that addressing financial issues early can prevent larger conflicts from arising.

Research shows that couples who engage in proactive financial planning are more likely to experience less stress and greater emotional intimacy.

Research indicates that financial stress can significantly impact relationship satisfaction. According to studies published in the Journal of Financial Psychology, couples who manage their finances collaboratively tend to experience greater relationship satisfaction.

This underscores the importance of addressing financial issues openly to foster a healthy partnership.

Your counter offer is very laughable

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It's your debt, and it's not her responsibility

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Your idea makes it easier to scam her

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The Importance of Open Communication

Open dialogue about financial expectations can foster understanding and trust in a relationship. Studies indicate that couples who practice transparent communication tend to navigate financial challenges more effectively.

Therapists recommend establishing a budget together, which can help partners feel more aligned in their financial goals.

Addressing Debt in Relationships

When discussing debt, it's vital to approach the topic with sensitivity and openness. A licensed psychologist notes that discussions around money often evoke strong emotional responses, which can complicate conversations.

Research shows that couples who communicate effectively about finances are better equipped to navigate challenges and reduce conflict.

You have a sweet offer, and you want more

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That's a huge risk in and of itself

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You have a wonderful fiancée, and you need to listen

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In this case, it may be beneficial for the couple to sit down and discuss their financial philosophies. This conversation can help clarify their expectations and lead to a more collaborative approach to debt repayment.

Encouraging mutual understanding can strengthen their partnership and enhance emotional closeness.

Moreover, creating a shared financial plan can promote accountability and transparency. Studies indicate that couples who set financial goals together tend to experience less stress related to money.

This might involve drafting a budget that outlines income, expenses, and debt repayment plans.

I'd be wondering if you were trustworthy or responsible

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You are the one in debt, not her

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You need to get it all done in writing

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Navigating Financial Stress Together

Financial stress can take a toll on emotional well-being and relationship satisfaction. Research indicates that couples who support each other through financial challenges tend to report greater relationship satisfaction.

According to psychologists, creating a shared vision for financial goals can enhance partnership and foster resilience against external stressors.

Fostering Mutual Support

Encouraging mutual support in financial matters is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. Research published in the Family Relations Journal suggests that couples who actively support each other's financial goals experience higher relationship satisfaction.

This can involve celebrating small wins and providing encouragement during challenging times.

She is offering you a solid chance to pay off your debt

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She is handing you that money with no guarantee

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You should show gratitude for her offer to support you

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To build a supportive approach to financial issues, the couple might consider working with a financial counselor. Professional guidance can provide tools for managing debt while preserving relationship harmony.

Studies show that couples who engage in financial counseling report improved communication and reduced financial stress.

Additionally, seeking financial counseling can offer a neutral space to discuss financial issues. Studies show that professional guidance can help couples navigate financial discussions more effectively, reducing tension.

This can empower both partners to approach financial matters with greater confidence and clarity.

Her plan was thoughtful and solid

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You need to think about this logically from her end

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It's really a good idea to marry someone like that

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Creating a Financially Healthy Relationship

Ultimately, fostering a financially healthy relationship requires both partners to actively engage in discussions about money. Encouraging each other to express their financial fears and aspirations can lead to greater understanding and support.

Research indicates that couples who prioritize financial communication tend to have more resilient relationships and better conflict resolution skills.

Creating a Plan for the Future

Ultimately, developing a clear financial plan that includes both partners' input can enhance relationship satisfaction. Research indicates that couples who collaborate on financial planning tend to experience increased harmony in their relationship.

This might involve establishing a timeline for debt repayment and discussing future financial goals together.

She is offering an incredibly generous plan

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Your fiancée is making an incredibly kind offer

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Better hope she's still okay with the plan

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It can be challenging to imagine a life without debt in a society that promotes the "buy now, pay later" mentality. But having no debt is indeed liberating, and this is only one of its many advantages.

The OP was not just called an AH by his friends, but he was thoroughly roasted in the comments as well. Drop your thoughts about this story in the comments below.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the significance of addressing financial concerns before marriage. Encouraging open dialogue about debt and financial goals can lead to greater understanding and cooperation in the relationship.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the interplay between financial independence and relationship satisfaction is crucial for fostering healthy partnerships.

By promoting open communication and mutual support, couples can navigate financial responsibilities more effectively and enhance their relationship.

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Financial dynamics can significantly impact romantic relationships. Open communication and shared financial planning are essential for fostering a harmonious partnership.

As noted by Dr. William Doherty, a family therapist, "Financial discussions can be a source of tension, but when approached collaboratively, they can strengthen the relationship." He emphasizes that "transparency about finances is crucial for building trust and reducing stress in partnerships."