Debt-Obsessed Man Shares How Money Fights Are Tearing His Relationship Apart

At some point, debt stops being just a number and starts feeling like a clock ticking in the background of your life. Every payment is a reminder, every purchase carries weight, and every plan for the future has an asterisk next to it.

Right now, the OP and his partner are staring at roughly $130,000 in combined debt. The OP has $70,000 in student loans while his partner has about $60,000 in credit card debt she took on to help pay for her father’s cancer treatment — a sacrifice made out of love, and thankfully, he’s now in remission, but the balance remains.

The OP decided he was done stretching his debt out for years. He picked up a second job and is working close to 80 hours a week and earning about $130,000 annually, so he can wipe his debt out by the beginning of next year.

It’s exhausting, it’s not glamorous, but it’s temporary, and to the OP, freedom on the other side is worth the grind. His partner already works 60–65 hours a week as a teacher, making around $65,000.

OP suggested that tutoring an extra 15 hours a week could bring in another $15,000–$20,000 and make her debt disappear in about 18 months. She says agreeing to do a budget was a compromise, but OP says a budget without increasing income or cutting spending is just math on paper.

A back-and-forth argument ensues, and you can read all about it below.

The OP writes...

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The OP can help and she'll be done quicker

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Paying the debt is important to OP's mental health

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They might get divorced due to money problems

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She called the OP an AH for his suggestions

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She wants a honeymoon after their wedding

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Let's head into the comments section and find out what other Redditors have to say about the story

It's so unhealthy in so many levels

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The OP is free to stick to his plans

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This Redditor happens to be very mad at the OP

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To the above comment, the OP replied saying...

I am not telling her to do this forever. She wants to go on a freakin honeymoon. She wants to buy a house before we are 35. She also wants to travel. None of that is going to happen unless we get out of debt.

And the comments continues...

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This Redditor had to ask if the OP is for real

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The OP doesn't get how student loan works

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You see, debt tests more than your bank account — it tests your values, your endurance, and your alignment as a couple. To the OP, the season is about sacrifice now for freedom later, but to his partner, it feels like survival is already demanding enough.

Maybe the real issue isn’t math — it’s mindset. Are they building the same future at the same pace or just sharing the same bills?

Because paying off debt is one thing, but making sure you’re still on the same team when it’s gone is another.