Deciding Not to Renew Lease: AITA for Increasing Friends Rent?

AITA for considering not renewing the lease with my friend due to living habits? OP questions impact on friendship and potential rent increase.

Damjan

Published in Interesting
24 Dec 2025

Deciding Not to Renew Lease: AITA for Increasing Friends Rent?

In the complex world of shared living, sometimes friendships are tested in unexpected ways. A recent Reddit thread has sparked a lively discussion about the dilemma of an 18-year-old female user, who is grappling with the decision not to renew her lease with her 20-year-old roommate and close friend.

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While the bond between them seems strong, the realities of cohabitation have unveiled a series of uncomfortable truths that the OP feels are irreconcilable. The OP has outlined key grievances that have led to her decision, including her roommate's frequent use of her belongings without permission, a stark difference in cleanliness standards, and a lack of shared responsibility for household tasks.

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Despite previous conversations and some improvements in behavior, the OP believes that continuing to live together could jeopardize their friendship. As she prepares to move out, she is acutely aware of the financial strain this decision could impose on her roommate, who may struggle to afford the rent alone.

With the thread now open for discussion, many commenters have weighed in, offering varying perspectives on whether the OP is justified in her choice or if she bears some responsibility for her friend's situation. Join the conversation and share your thoughts on navigating the delicate balance between friendship and personal boundaries in shared living arrangements.

Original Post

I18F moved in with my 20F roommate about four months ago. She’s one of my closest friends.She’s genuinely one of the sweetest people I know which is why this situation is so hard.I have no interest in renewing our lease at the end of June.

Here’s why. She uses my things without my permission.

Example: She’ll go into my room and take my fan and or my air mattress from my closet when I’m not home this wouldn’t be a problem if she would just asked me first.(she also never puts things back).Our ideas of clean are very different. Example: she’ll have people over multiple nights in a row leave dirty dishes and mess everywhere, then leave for the weekend and text, “Don’t feel like you need to clean anything, I’ll do it when I get back.” I’m only ever home on weekends also out first ever “rule” was to keep common areas clean.

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She has people over almost every night. Example: some night she’ll have three or more people over without even letting me know first.

I feel used. We got this apartment because of me.

I found it, contacted the landlord, handled the paperwork and got accepted because of my credit. I also bought all the furniture and handled the utilities and insurance.

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I gave her chances to take on some of these responsibilities but she wouldn’t contact her insurance or handle things on time so I had to do it myself. We have talked about these things and some things have improved!

So this is where I might be the a*****e even with improvements, I have zero intention of renewing the lease with her. She thinks I am.

I agreed to move in with her while we were still in high school (her parents were supposed to move out of province) I promised I’d move in to help her and I kept this promise even after meeting my wonderful bf (I would never change a promise for a man) Her parents actually never ended up moving. When I leave I’ll be taking all my furniture and removing my name from the lease she can’t afford the full rent (I pay more than half to help her out she’s still in Cégep)or to replace the furniture I know that sounds mean but it’s the truth.

As much as I wish I could stay I know if I do this situation could definitely ruin our friendship so in my opinion I believe it’s better we go our own ways. I just feel bad that I’ll be leaving her in a tough spot and my brain can’t stop thinking about all the logistics of this, she doesn’t even have a credit card to her name or savings.

I know it’s not my problem but what should I do? Am I the a*****e for wanting to leave?