Did I Overreact by Not Inviting a Friend to My Birthday Party After Hurtful Comments About My Partner?

AITA for not inviting a friend to my birthday party after they made hurtful comments about my partner? Opinions are divided on whether I overreacted or stood up for what's right.

Davy

Published in Interesting
2025-08-20 07:02

Did I Overreact by Not Inviting a Friend to My Birthday Party After Hurtful Comments About My Partner?

Are you in the right for not inviting a friend to your birthday party after they made hurtful comments about your partner? This Reddit thread delves into a situation where a friend, Sarah, crossed boundaries by making disrespectful remarks about a partner during a birthday celebration.

The original poster felt deeply hurt by Sarah's comments and decided to exclude her from a subsequent gathering, leading to a rift in their friendship. The dilemma lies in whether standing up for one's partner against hurtful behavior justifies potentially hurting a friendship in the process.

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Many Redditors are divided on the issue, with some supporting the original poster's decision to prioritize their partner's feelings and set boundaries, while others suggest that open communication could have been a better approach to address the situation. The discussion touches on themes of loyalty, respect, and the importance of addressing hurtful behavior within friendships.

As the debate unfolds, perspectives vary on where the line should be drawn between standing up for a partner and maintaining friendships. The thread raises thought-provoking questions about navigating conflicts in relationships and the complexities of loyalty and boundaries.

Original Post

I (28F) recently had my birthday and decided to throw a small party with close friends. My friend, let's call her Sarah, has known my partner (30M) for years.

During the party, Sarah made a series of rude and disrespectful comments about my partner's appearance, calling him 'unattractive' and 'weird'. These comments deeply hurt me and made my partner uncomfortable.

I tried to brush it off in the moment, not wanting to create a scene, but it bothered me throughout the evening. Later on, when it came time to plan a gathering with a few friends, I purposely did not invite Sarah.

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When she asked about it, I explained that her comments about my partner had crossed a line, and I didn't feel comfortable having her around him after what she said. Sarah was taken aback and insisted she was just joking, but I stood my ground and explained that those 'jokes' were hurtful and unacceptable.

She left in a huff, and now mutual friends are saying I overreacted and should've just let it go. I believe in standing up for my partner and not tolerating disrespectful behavior, but I can't help feeling conflicted.

So AITA?

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