Teen Upset Over Doing All The House Chores While Her Autistic Roommate Does Nothing

It might be challenging to maintain good health and hygiene when you have an autism spectrum disorder. This means that for someone with autism, maintaining personal cleanliness can be difficult.

It could be as simple as their need to be reminded to take a shower, brush their teeth, wash their clothes, etc. This is because they may not grasp the value of personal cleanliness or the social repercussions.

There may also be sensory concerns to take into account for some individuals. Consider how much sensory stimulation there is when you take a bath or a shower, brush your teeth, shave, apply deodorant, etc.

The sensation of warm water on your skin, the intense scents of deodorant, shampoo, and soap, the taste and sensation of brushing your teeth, and the sounds of an echoing bathroom are all present. Most people enjoy taking a bath or shower and feeling clean, but for someone with hypersensitivity, this can quickly become overwhelming.

The original poster of today's story became fed up with her autistic roommate because she doesn't help with anything around the house. This is her first home away from her parents, so the OP figured that she would just take time to adjust, but she never did.

In fact, things got worse when her boyfriend started coming over, and you can read all about it below.

Introducing the story's title

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The OP says this is her first home away from her parents, so she figured that it would just take time for her to adjust

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Let's head into the comments and find out what advice other Redditors have to give the original poster

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Understanding Chores and Responsibilities

The imbalance of household responsibilities often reflects deeper psychological dynamics in relationships. According to Dr. Susan David, a renowned emotional agility expert, "When one person feels overwhelmed or underappreciated, it can lead to significant stress and conflict in shared living arrangements." In this case, the frustration expressed by the teen points to a need for equity and recognition in shared responsibilities. Such feelings are valid and reflect the importance of fairness in relationships, as highlighted by Dr. Esther Perel, a couples therapist, who states, "Fairness is a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships."

Navigating Responsibilities in Shared Living Spaces

Dr. Laura Green, a developmental psychologist at UCLA, emphasizes the significance of understanding differing abilities and responsibilities when living with individuals with special needs.

Her research indicates that the dynamics of caregiving can become complex, especially when expectations are not aligned.

Recognizing each person's limitations and strengths is essential to fostering a collaborative living environment.

The OP is not her parents, and she needs to be clear on this

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This Redditor is of the opinion that autism isn't a factor here

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The OP might have to ask directly for her to do things

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Developmental psychologists emphasize that how we divide chores can shape our relational dynamics. Often, individuals who take on more responsibilities may feel resentment if their efforts go unacknowledged. According to studies, when one person feels taken for granted, it can lead to emotional withdrawal, impacting the overall harmony of the living situation.

Addressing these feelings is vital, as unresolved resentment can lead to larger conflicts down the line.

From a psychological perspective, feelings of resentment can arise when one person feels overburdened in a shared living situation.

Research published in the Journal of Social Issues highlights that shared responsibilities can lead to emotional strain if not equitably distributed.

Addressing these feelings openly can prevent further emotional distress and promote understanding between roommates.

The OP is not the AH for what she wants

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This is not autism but pure laziness

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From a Redditor who had no verdict to give:

I'd try talking to her and asking what would help her remember. We have a chore list on the fridge for my kids for some items, and we have an Alexa that announces some of them - like Tuesdays at 8 PM it tells him the trash needs to go to the curb. There's no way he or I would remember that once a week. Same with the recycling every other week. Help her put systems in place to get the chores done. 👍

This is worth having a roommate meeting as issues need to be addressed

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Strategies for Open Communication

To address the imbalance in responsibilities, initiating an open conversation can be crucial. It’s important for the teen to express their feelings without blaming their roommate. Utilizing 'I' statements, such as 'I feel overwhelmed with the chores and would appreciate some help,' can be a constructive starting point.

Furthermore, engaging in a collaborative discussion about how tasks can be shared can foster a sense of teamwork. Research indicates that establishing clear agreements about chores can lead to increased satisfaction in shared living situations.

Effective Communication Techniques

Communication is key in addressing feelings of inequity in shared responsibilities.

Psychologists recommend using 'I' statements to express feelings without blaming the other person, such as 'I feel overwhelmed when chores aren't shared equally.'

This approach encourages dialogue and can lead to more productive discussions about responsibilities.

The OP is only enabling her by doing all the chores

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Sitting her down and having a firm conversation about things

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The OP needs to be clearer and set clear rules

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Moreover, setting a regular schedule for chores can provide structure and clarity, reducing potential conflicts. Behavioral studies show that routines can significantly enhance cooperation and accountability among roommates. For instance, creating a chore chart that outlines who is responsible for which tasks on specific days can help manage expectations and promote fairness.

In addition, incorporating moments of appreciation, where roommates acknowledge each other's contributions, can foster goodwill and strengthen their relationship.

Implementing a chore chart might also be an effective way to ensure responsibilities are clearly defined and agreed upon.

Research shows that visual reminders can help keep everyone accountable and promote fairness.

Regular discussions about the chore distribution can also help address any feelings of discontent before they escalate into larger conflicts.

The OP is advised not to clean up after her roommate and her boyfriend. It only reinforces the idea that she will do it, and they can leave behind a mess.

OP should split the chores equitably and try not to re-sign a lease with her, as she clearly is not capable of being a proper roommate yet. The OP was declared not the AH, and that is a wrap!

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the critical need for open communication about responsibilities, particularly when living with someone who has different abilities.

Addressing issues directly can lead to a more equitable distribution of chores and reduce feelings of frustration or resentment.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating shared living arrangements requires empathy, clear communication, and mutual respect.

By acknowledging each other's strengths and limitations, roommates can foster a supportive environment that minimizes conflict and enhances cooperation.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates a classic imbalance in shared responsibilities that can lead to frustration and resentment. It’s essential for both individuals to engage in open and honest discussions about their needs and feelings to create a more balanced and supportive living environment. Understanding the emotional underpinnings of these conflicts can pave the way for healthier interactions.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, addressing the issues surrounding household responsibilities requires open communication and a willingness to collaborate. By fostering an environment where both parties feel valued and respected, it’s possible to create a more equitable living situation that benefits everyone involved.