Pregnant Lady Gets Mad At Her Mom For Not Disclosing To Her That She Wasn't Breastfed As A Baby

"She hit all her milestones in infancy and was very healthy."

It's probable that at some point during your pregnancy, you worried about how painful childbirth would be. The pain associated with breastfeeding is likely something you haven't considered.

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There's a strong chance this will become a more pressing issue once your child arrives. It is a fact that many parents who are nursing their babies encounter pain or discomfort at some point in the process.

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Once the cause is identified, breastfeeding pain can be managed; however, it may not always be preventable. In the initial days and weeks of nursing, many of the usual reasons for pain will manifest.

Some issues might not arise until after you've been nursing for several months. Like anything else in parenting, you never quite master a new skill until a new challenge presents itself.

The OP and her pregnant daughter were discussing her upcoming baby. She asked the OP how difficult breastfeeding was, and the OP told her that she never breastfed.

The OP was aware of breastfeeding pains, and the only two people she knew who breastfed complained about it constantly. To the OP, it didn't seem worth the hassle, so she never breastfed her daughter.

OP's daughter was upset and accused her of hiding this vital piece of information from her. She's quite angry and placed a call to her doctor to see if she is at a disadvantage because of this.

The OP writes

The OP writesReddit/BookkeeperHot62
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The only two people she knew who breastfed complained about it constantly, and it didn't seem worth the hassle.

The only two people she knew who breastfed complained about it constantly, and it didn't seem worth the hassle.Reddit/BookkeeperHot62
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

I could be an a-hole for not telling her how she was fed as a baby.

The Reddit post went viral and received thousands of comments, and we've gathered some of the most upvoted ones below.

The Reddit post went viral and received thousands of comments, and we've gathered some of the most upvoted ones below.Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

This Redditor wants to know if the OP's daughter was malnourished as a baby.

This Redditor wants to know if the OP's daughter was malnourished as a baby.Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

The Psychological Impact of Breastfeeding Decisions

Breastfeeding is often surrounded by strong emotions and societal expectations, which can complicate parental feelings about their own experiences. Dr. Laura Simmons, a maternal health psychologist, notes that many new mothers grapple with feelings of guilt or inadequacy related to their breastfeeding choices. Research supports this notion, indicating that maternal guilt can lead to heightened anxiety and stress during the postpartum period.

According to a study in the Journal of Human Lactation, these feelings can be exacerbated when mothers feel they are not meeting societal or familial expectations.

There wasn't a time when the breastfeeding discussion could have come up.

There wasn't a time when the breastfeeding discussion could have come up.Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

OP's daughter has been talking about how superior breastfeeding is.

OP's daughter has been talking about how superior breastfeeding is.Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

Interestingly, the psychological concept of maternal identity can play a significant role in how mothers experience breastfeeding and related decisions. A researcher in developmental psychology explains that mothers often tie their self-worth to their ability to fulfill traditional maternal roles, such as breastfeeding. This can lead to significant emotional distress when they learn of their own breastfeeding history, especially if it deviates from societal norms.

It looks like OP's daughter is reading too many things.

It looks like OP's daughter is reading too many things.Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

Many babies were not breastfed, and they turned out just fine.

Many babies were not breastfed, and they turned out just fine.Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

Understanding the Importance of Open Communication

Open communication between family members about breastfeeding can alleviate some of the stress associated with these decisions. A family therapist emphasizes that discussing feelings surrounding breastfeeding openly can create a supportive environment for mothers. Research shows that families who maintain open communication about parenting choices often report greater satisfaction and lower levels of conflict.

This can involve family discussions that address feelings of guilt and expectations, allowing for a more nuanced understanding of individual experiences.

This Redditor just had to ask.

This Redditor just had to ask.Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

It's not a reasonable or workable option for many women for a variety of reasons.

It's not a reasonable or workable option for many women for a variety of reasons.Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

Understanding the emotional weight of breastfeeding decisions can help family members provide the necessary support to new mothers. A clinical psychologist notes that when families acknowledge the complexities surrounding breastfeeding, they can foster a more accepting and nurturing environment. This can significantly improve the emotional well-being of new mothers, who often feel isolated in their struggles.

"I was not breastfed and I need all the tests" kind of reply.

Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

This Redditor believes the OP's daughter is just being ridiculous and the doctor will dismiss her concerns.

This Redditor believes the OP's daughter is just being ridiculous and the doctor will dismiss her concerns.Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

Redditors say that OP's daughter gets to portray the martyr, highlighting the difficult life she has had as a result of not receiving breast milk. She will be the center of attention with her victim complex, especially now that she can claim she is ending the cycle of "neglect."

Still, a verdict had to be made, and the OP was declared not the AH. Share this story with your loved ones to get their own verdict as well.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the emotional complexities surrounding breastfeeding choices. Many new mothers experience guilt and anxiety related to their feeding decisions, often influenced by societal expectations. It's essential for families to create a supportive atmosphere that allows for open discussions about these topics.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the psychological implications of breastfeeding decisions is crucial for supporting new mothers. Research emphasizes the importance of open communication and community support in alleviating feelings of guilt and isolation. By fostering an accepting environment, families can significantly enhance the emotional well-being of new mothers.

Strategies for Supporting New Mothers

To support new mothers grappling with feelings related to breastfeeding, experts recommend establishing a non-judgmental support network. This can include engaging in discussions that normalize diverse feeding practices and acknowledging the challenges mothers face. Research indicates that when mothers feel supported in their choices, they experience lower levels of stress and greater overall satisfaction with their parenting experience.

Additionally, participating in support groups for new mothers can provide valuable opportunities for sharing experiences and emotions, fostering a sense of community and understanding.

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