Pregnant Lady Gets Mad At Her Mom For Not Disclosing To Her That She Wasn't Breastfed As A Baby

A 28-year-old woman is pregnant, trying to get through the last stretch, when her mom drops a bomb that feels weirdly personal, like she’s been keeping score her whole life. OP is not mad about a small secret, she’s mad about a big one: her mom never told her she was not breastfed as a baby.

The complication is that OP’s daughter has been talking up breastfeeding like it’s the gold standard, and OP’s mom has been sitting on the fact that she didn’t do it herself. So when the conversation finally happens, it is not a calm “by the way” moment, it turns into a confrontation that leaves everyone emotionally exposed, including the pregnant daughter who thought she was getting the full story.

Here’s the full story.

The OP writes

Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

The only two people she knew who breastfed complained about it constantly, and it didn't seem worth the hassle.

Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

I could be an a-hole for not telling her how she was fed as a baby.

The Reddit post went viral and received thousands of comments, and we've gathered some of the most upvoted ones below.

Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

This Redditor wants to know if the OP's daughter was malnourished as a baby.

Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

Right away, OP’s daughter is already acting like breastfeeding is unquestionably superior, which makes her mom’s silence hit even harder.

The emotional landscape surrounding breastfeeding is complex and often charged with societal pressures that can deeply affect new mothers. The article highlights a poignant example of this as a pregnant woman confronts her mother for not revealing that she was not breastfed herself. This revelation strikes at the core of the mother's anxieties, illustrating how personal histories can reverberate through generations. Many expectant mothers, already grappling with the impending realities of childbirth, may not fully grasp the emotional toll breastfeeding can take until they are in the thick of it.

Research has consistently shown that feelings of guilt and inadequacy are prevalent among new mothers, particularly when they perceive themselves as falling short of societal or familial standards. This is echoed in the struggles of the pregnant woman in the article, who feels betrayed and unsupported by her mother's silence. The weight of these expectations can amplify anxiety and stress during the postpartum period, a reality that is all too common yet often overlooked in discussions about maternal health.

There wasn't a time when the breastfeeding discussion could have come up.

Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

OP's daughter has been talking about how superior breastfeeding is.

Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

The family drama kicks into gear when OP realizes there was “no time” for the breastfeeding talk, even though the topic has been floating around for years.

Interestingly, the psychological concept of maternal identity can play a significant role in how mothers experience breastfeeding and related decisions. A researcher in developmental psychology explains that mothers often tie their self-worth to their ability to fulfill traditional maternal roles, such as breastfeeding. This can lead to significant emotional distress when they learn of their own breastfeeding history, especially if it deviates from societal norms.

It also echoes the roommate who moved into the living room, and the OP demanding extra rent.

It looks like OP's daughter is reading too many things.

Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

Many babies were not breastfed, and they turned out just fine.

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Everything gets messier because OP’s mom’s secret clashes with how OP’s daughter has been framing her own future postpartum plans.

Open communication between family members about breastfeeding can alleviate some of the stress associated with these decisions.

This Redditor just had to ask.

Reddit/BookkeeperHot62

It's not a reasonable or workable option for many women for a variety of reasons.

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Understanding the emotional weight of breastfeeding decisions can help family members provide the necessary support to new mothers.

"I was not breastfed and I need all the tests" kind of reply.

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This Redditor believes the OP's daughter is just being ridiculous and the doctor will dismiss her concerns.

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By the time OP confronts her mom, the argument is no longer about feeding methods, it’s about betrayal, assumptions, and what was never said.

Redditors say that OP's daughter gets to portray the martyr, highlighting the difficult life she has had as a result of not receiving breast milk. She will be the center of attention with her victim complex, especially now that she can claim she is ending the cycle of "neglect."

Still, a verdict had to be made, and the OP was declared not the AH. Share this story with your loved ones to get their own verdict as well.

The emotional landscape surrounding breastfeeding is often underestimated, particularly in the context of familial relationships.

Strategies for Supporting New Mothers

This can include engaging in discussions that normalize diverse feeding practices and acknowledging the challenges mothers face.

The family dinner did not end well.

For another tense household standoff, read about a sibling suspected of stealing, and the OP asking them to move out.