Mom and Son Butt Heads Over His Negligent Parenting Behaviors After an Argument Erupted About Visiting Disneyland
His daughter does not live with him and his new family, but it's not because of an evil stepmother; it's because of him.
Everyone deserves a grandma who will bake cookies for them, trade stories with them, and sneak them sweets when their parents aren't looking. A grandma on Reddit shared her story about her son and his daughter.
OP (original poster) got pregnant with her son, Julius, a month after she turned 18. Although it was difficult, she did her best for him, and he got into a good engineering school.
However, history seemingly repeated itself when Julius got his then-girlfriend, Iza, pregnant. Their daughter, Annabella, was born, but Iza got deported.
After graduating, Julius married his next girlfriend, Katja, and they have two sons together. Annabella doesn't live with them; she lives with OP instead.
Iza has maintained contact with Annabella by FaceTiming her every night, and she spends July with her. On the other hand, Julius doesn't spend nearly enough time with Annabella compared to his sons.
He visits OP's home once a month with a box full of toys for his daughter. He spends the day with her, but at the end of that short day, he goes home to his sons, which breaks Annabella's heart.
Despite her dad's shortcomings, the child loves Julius a lot. No matter how much OP tries to fill that void that gets bigger every time Julius leaves, she's just a grandma, but Julius is Annabella's hero.
The reason Annabella does not live with her dad is not because of her stepmom, Katja. If it were up to Katja, Annabella would want for nothing.
She talks about all the things she and Annabella could do while calling her princess, sweetie, and other endearments. The only reason Annabella doesn't live with them is Julius; he says Annabella should just stay with OP.
Julius told his mom that he and Katja were planning a trip to Disneyland in a few months.
OP said Annabella would be really excited by this news and that OP should tell her on her birthday. OP told her that Annabella wasn't going with them and that the trip was for his boys.
She told him that Annabella should be on the trip with them quite forcefully. Julius said that OP is an a**hole for trying to control him.
DisneyTripGrandmaOP admits that the way she said it was a bit controlling, but is she really wrong? Read her original post below and judge for yourself:
DisneyTripGrandma
DisneyTripGrandma
DisneyTripGrandma
It takes more than blood and money to be a father, but paying child support is the least he could do.
fridgepickle
The bar is in hell, and if he doesn't pay child support, then he's obviously worse than we imagine.
Moissanita
As it turns out, the best dad in the world does pay child support but isn't involved in his child's life since her mother got deported.
DisneyTripGrandma
This is a big, scary 'what if' that should be answered.
RaichuMew21
Annabella is lucky to have OP in her life.
DisneyTripGrandma
This is probably the truth about that once-a-month box of toys...
Impossible-Pause3788
... OP believes it as well.
DisneyTripGrandma
OP should probably do this, and in another comment, OP said that Annabella and her brothers have a good relationship.
ingodwetryst
His wife seems to care for Annabella as well. So, the only issue here is the deadbeat dad.
DisneyTripGrandma
Another commenter agreed that OP should do some meddling in this case for Annabella's sake.
Plantsandanger
If Julius's neglect of Annabella is due to sexism, then he is scum of the earth.
DisneyTripGrandma
If Julius were your son, what is the best way to cut him out of your will?
shelballama
OP says cutting him out is easier said than done...
DisneyTripGrandma
... he obviously doesn't share that belief if his treatment of Annabella is any indicator.
halskill
OP can keep trying to teach her son how to be a good father and a better human, but ultimately, his choices are his.
FloppyEaredDog
This doting grandma should prioritize Annabella's well-being and get her into therapy as soon as possible.
FloppyEaredDog
OP says that while she doesn't have Disneyland money, she will try to organize something fun for Annabella.
DisneyTripGrandma
Another thing: OP should stop enabling her son's unacceptable brand of parenting.
FloppyEaredDog
OP still sees it as her responsibility to correct Julius and his actions.
DisneyTripGrandma
If Annabella's mother, Iza, is a better parent than Julius, why isn't she living with her?
DisneyBuckeye
Annabella spends a month every year in Mexico with her mom, but Iza insists on giving Annabella a Canadian education.
DisneyTripGrandma
Maybe three women will be enough to make Julius realize how much he's messed up.
TheBaddestPatsy
TheBaddestPatsy
If Julius can treat his sons lovingly, why can't he do the same for Annabella?
showersinger
OP can try sitting down with her son and talking about the real problems causing his neglect.
showersinger
OP says she will advocate for Annabella and talk to Julius and Katja to see how they can mend things.
DisneyTripGrandma
So far, OP hasn't made any updates about the result of their talk. Let's hope that they bring Annabella when they visit Disneyland because she deserves to be happy with her brothers.
Moving forward, Julius should be more active in his daughter's life, and if he doesn't, OP has a lot of difficult decisions to make in order to protect her grandchild. When parents mess up, it's the kids who suffer the consequences, but fortunately, Annabella has her grandma and mom to rely on.
