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Mom and Son Butt Heads Over His Negligent Parenting Behaviors After an Argument Erupted About Visiting Disneyland

His daughter does not live with him and his new family, but it's not because of an evil stepmother; it's because of him.

Mom and Son Butt Heads Over His Negligent Parenting Behaviors After an Argument Erupted About Visiting Disneyland

Some family conflicts start small, then turn into something much bigger once a child gets hurt in the middle. On Reddit, one grandmother shared how her son’s uneven parenting has left his daughter feeling pushed aside, even though she still adores him.

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OP raised her son, Julius, after becoming a mother at 18, and he eventually built a good life for himself. But when Julius had a daughter, Annabella, with his then-girlfriend Iza, the situation became messy, especially after Iza was deported and Annabella ended up living with OP instead.

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Now Julius is planning a Disneyland trip with his wife and sons, and Annabella is once again left wondering where she fits in. Read on.

Julius told his mom that he and Katja were planning a trip to Disneyland in a few months.

OP said Annabella would be really excited by this news and that OP should tell her on her birthday. OP told her that Annabella wasn't going with them and that the trip was for his boys.

She told him that Annabella should be on the trip with them quite forcefully. Julius said that OP is an a**hole for trying to control him.

Julius told his mom that he and Katja were planning a trip to Disneyland in a few months.DisneyTripGrandma
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OP admits that the way she said it was a bit controlling, but is she really wrong? Read her original post below and judge for yourself:

OP admits that the way she said it was a bit controlling, but is she really wrong? Read her original post below and judge for yourself:DisneyTripGrandma
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Mother and son arguing at home, discussing a planned Disneyland tripDisneyTripGrandma Disapproving mother confronting father over child support and negligent parentingDisneyTripGrandma

It takes more than blood and money to be a father, but paying child support is the least he could do.

It takes more than blood and money to be a father, but paying child support is the least he could do.fridgepickle

The bar is in hell, and if he doesn't pay child support, then he's obviously worse than we imagine.

The bar is in hell, and if he doesn't pay child support, then he's obviously worse than we imagine.Moissanita

As it turns out, the best dad in the world does pay child support but isn't involved in his child's life since her mother got deported.

As it turns out, the best dad in the world does pay child support but isn't involved in his child's life since her mother got deported.DisneyTripGrandma

This is a big, scary 'what if' that should be answered.

This is a big, scary 'what if' that should be answered.RaichuMew21

Annabella is lucky to have OP in her life.

Annabella is lucky to have OP in her life.DisneyTripGrandma

This is probably the truth about that once-a-month box of toys...

This is probably the truth about that once-a-month box of toys...Impossible-Pause3788

... OP believes it as well.

... OP believes it as well.DisneyTripGrandma

OP should probably do this, and in another comment, OP said that Annabella and her brothers have a good relationship.

OP should probably do this, and in another comment, OP said that Annabella and her brothers have a good relationship.ingodwetryst

For another family blowup, see the inheritance fight between the OP and the reconnected half-sister who’s asking for an unequal split: should split inheritance unequally.

His wife seems to care for Annabella as well. So, the only issue here is the deadbeat dad.

His wife seems to care for Annabella as well. So, the only issue here is the deadbeat dad.DisneyTripGrandma

Another commenter agreed that OP should do some meddling in this case for Annabella's sake.

Another commenter agreed that OP should do some meddling in this case for Annabella's sake.Plantsandanger

If Julius's neglect of Annabella is due to sexism, then he is scum of the earth.

If Julius's neglect of Annabella is due to sexism, then he is scum of the earth.DisneyTripGrandma

If Julius were your son, what is the best way to cut him out of your will?

If Julius were your son, what is the best way to cut him out of your will?shelballama

OP says cutting him out is easier said than done...

OP says cutting him out is easier said than done...DisneyTripGrandma

... he obviously doesn't share that belief if his treatment of Annabella is any indicator.

... he obviously doesn't share that belief if his treatment of Annabella is any indicator.halskill

OP can keep trying to teach her son how to be a good father and a better human, but ultimately, his choices are his.

OP can keep trying to teach her son how to be a good father and a better human, but ultimately, his choices are his.FloppyEaredDog

This doting grandma should prioritize Annabella's well-being and get her into therapy as soon as possible.

This doting grandma should prioritize Annabella's well-being and get her into therapy as soon as possible.FloppyEaredDog

OP says that while she doesn't have Disneyland money, she will try to organize something fun for Annabella.

OP says that while she doesn't have Disneyland money, she will try to organize something fun for Annabella.DisneyTripGrandma

Another thing: OP should stop enabling her son's unacceptable brand of parenting.

Another thing: OP should stop enabling her son's unacceptable brand of parenting.FloppyEaredDog

OP still sees it as her responsibility to correct Julius and his actions.

OP still sees it as her responsibility to correct Julius and his actions.DisneyTripGrandma

If Annabella's mother, Iza, is a better parent than Julius, why isn't she living with her?

If Annabella's mother, Iza, is a better parent than Julius, why isn't she living with her?DisneyBuckeye

Annabella spends a month every year in Mexico with her mom, but Iza insists on giving Annabella a Canadian education.

Annabella spends a month every year in Mexico with her mom, but Iza insists on giving Annabella a Canadian education.DisneyTripGrandma

Maybe three women will be enough to make Julius realize how much he's messed up.

Maybe three women will be enough to make Julius realize how much he's messed up.TheBaddestPatsy Three women planning education for Annabella, family conflict and concernTheBaddestPatsy

If Julius can treat his sons lovingly, why can't he do the same for Annabella?

If Julius can treat his sons lovingly, why can't he do the same for Annabella?showersinger

OP can try sitting down with her son and talking about the real problems causing his neglect.

OP can try sitting down with her son and talking about the real problems causing his neglect.showersinger

OP says she will advocate for Annabella and talk to Julius and Katja to see how they can mend things.

OP says she will advocate for Annabella and talk to Julius and Katja to see how they can mend things.DisneyTripGrandma

So far, OP hasn't made any updates about the result of their talk. Let's hope that they bring Annabella when they visit Disneyland because she deserves to be happy with her brothers.

Moving forward, Julius should be more active in his daughter's life, and if he doesn't, OP has a lot of difficult decisions to make in order to protect her grandchild. When parents mess up, it's the kids who suffer the consequences, but fortunately, Annabella has her grandma and mom to rely on.

That family trip could say a lot.

Then decide what to do about the neglectful partner when you’re trying to reclaim a neglected adopted cat: rescinding ownership of a neglected cat.

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