Driver Gets Applauded Online For Banning Men On His Bus Because Of The Rising Theft And Harassment But Gets Called An A-Hole By His Coworkers
"AITA for not allowing men on the bus?"
Rules are meant to be broken–this is how the quote goes. It is so, until another person suffers the consequences of breaking a specific rule.
But, in many cases (like this one), there are moments when those rules are not strictly implemented. And the workers—amongst themselves—are the ones who decide for most situations.
One reason for having rules in the first place is to create limitations—limitations that concern the safety of an institution or organization. If these are not implemented well, or at all, it could lead to chaos, however, in this case, everything leads to the endangerment of students involving theft, stalking, and sexual harassment.
This Redditor shares his personal—and kind of guilty—experience of breaking the rules. His main concern is if he is an asshole for not allowing men on the bus in order to protect college girls from being harassed.
While their co-workers' advice contributed to his actions, he still did it even when knowing about the rules and that he is breaking them. He felt responsible for the things he had done and came up with a sort of solution to make up for it.
Is he being sexist with his stance? Or is there genuine concern for sticking with the rules?
Let's dive into the situation:
RedditOP has been a bus driver for almost 15 years. Mind you, he is not from the US–their laws are different and may not apply to him.
RedditWorking for the government, he is assigned to one of the special buses in universities. Those are primarily for the use of all-girls dormers since their dorms are far from the colleges.
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Examining the Psychology of Prejudice
The decision to ban men from a bus due to theft and harassment reflects underlying societal prejudices and fear-based responses. Research in social psychology indicates that fear often drives people to make sweeping generalizations about groups based on the actions of a few. According to Dr. John D. DeLamater, a sociologist at the University of Wisconsin, these behaviors can reinforce stereotypes and perpetuate cycles of discrimination.
This highlights the importance of understanding the broader implications of our actions and the need for nuanced approaches to addressing safety concerns. Effective interventions should focus on specific behaviors rather than making blanket assumptions about entire groups.
Exploring Social Dynamics and Personal Safety
Dr. Jennifer Lee, a social psychologist at University of Toronto, emphasizes that personal safety is a fundamental psychological need that can drive behavior.
Her research indicates that feelings of threat can significantly influence decision-making, particularly in public spaces.
This situation illustrates how social dynamics can create tension when individuals feel their safety is compromised.
Coworkers, although technically not allowed, said it was okay to let other people (those who are not college students) ride the special bus because of bad public transport. OP was wary, but he thought of the students’ safety.
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On public transit, the number of incidents involving theft and sexual harassment has risen. A person’s capabilities cannot be judged by appearance–you can’t really make sure if they are harmless or not.
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In his bus, the amount of theft has risen. A recent incident was someone sexually assaulting an asleep girl.
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When addressing safety in public spaces, it's essential to implement strategies that promote inclusivity while ensuring security. Research has shown that community engagement initiatives, such as involving local law enforcement in discussions about public safety, can lead to more effective solutions without marginalizing specific groups. Studies published in the Journal of Social Issues suggest that collaborative approaches foster trust and understanding between communities and authorities.
Additionally, educational programs that address issues of consent and respect can help create safer environments for all, reducing the likelihood of harassment and theft.
This scenario reflects the psychological principle of in-group versus out-group dynamics, where individuals may feel compelled to protect their social circle from perceived threats. According to Dr. Rick Hanson, a neuropsychologist, "Our brains are wired to identify threats, which can lead to protective behaviors that sometimes manifest as exclusion." Studies published in the Journal of Happiness Studies suggest that this protective behavior can lead to exclusionary practices that may escalate conflict. Understanding these dynamics can help individuals navigate their reactions with greater awareness.
Loading up the bus, the majority of the girls shared with him about the things they have experienced because of OP letting strangers in the bus–theft, stalking, and sexual harassment. They had witnesses and proof.
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After, he started asking students for their college IDs before letting them into the bus. He does let the usual old grandma in, but no grown men.
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A somewhat scary experience he had encountered was a stranger who had to be physically be pushed away–the person reported the bus driver, but got was told off instead. OP’s colleagues are teasing him, saying that he did it just because he wants to “impress the girls.”
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Understanding Fear-Based Decision Making
Fear can significantly influence decision-making processes, often leading individuals to act in ways that contradict their values. According to behavioral psychology, fear triggers the fight-or-flight response, which can cloud judgment and promote reactive behaviors. This is particularly relevant in situations where safety is perceived to be at risk.
Research shows that individuals who can regulate their emotional responses to fear are better equipped to make rational decisions during crises. Techniques such as mindfulness and cognitive reframing can help individuals manage their fears and respond more thoughtfully to challenging situations.
The Impact of Fear on Decision-Making
Fear can drive individuals to make decisions that may seem extreme or irrational, particularly when safety is at stake.
Research from Stanford University highlights how fear can activate the brain's fight-or-flight response, leading to heightened emotional reactions.
Recognizing these patterns can empower individuals to respond more thoughtfully in high-stress situations.
OP replies to those who said he is the AH–he will do better. Aside from making a report (to be submitted to his higher-ups), he will also refrain from allowing old people from getting on the bus.
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OP admits to being ignorant of the signs but wants to make up for it. He wants to revise their policy to accommodate their concerns.
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Since he used to serve in the military, he let in uniformed men (military and cops). He asks them to stay standing near the door, but this was not always the case–sometimes the bus gets crowded and they want to sit down a little.
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Understanding the emotional triggers that lead to defensive behaviors is crucial for navigating conflict effectively.
Studies show that recognizing these triggers can help individuals manage their reactions and engage in more constructive dialogue.
Implementing mindfulness techniques can enhance emotional regulation, allowing individuals to respond calmly in tense situations.
OP admits to being TA for allowing normal people to get on. He can (and is willing to) physically stop any man that will force himself in.
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He has said this to many Redditors who responded to his Reddit thread–he allows college boys on the bus. The boys (a lot of them) are even concerned boyfriends.
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OP has successfully applied the policy he was hoping for. The bus is now strictly for college students–they must present their IDs before getting on.
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Balancing Safety and Inclusion
Creating a balance between personal safety and social inclusion is essential for fostering healthy community dynamics.
Research from the University of Michigan suggests that feeling safe in social spaces can enhance overall well-being and reduce anxiety.
Encouraging inclusive practices can mitigate the negative impact of fear on social interactions.
The bus is for students. OP is just following the rules–rules that will keep the students safe.
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Spot on! Sexism is not at work here.
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This Redditor questions OP second-guessing himself when he is actually finally doing his job–correctly. OP was not doing so well before this whole incident happened.
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To navigate these complex dynamics, fostering open dialogue about safety concerns can promote understanding and collaboration.
Research indicates that having discussions about personal experiences and safety perceptions can enhance empathy and reduce defensiveness.
Creating an environment where individuals feel heard can lead to healthier social interactions.
The coworkers don’t seem like good people–OP is doing this for the abuse the girls have experienced. Also, OP’s job is to transport students to and from the university and dorm, not solving public transportation issues.
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TA. OP was the reason why the girls were violated–he let normal people walk in.
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Both–TA and NTA. There wouldn’t have been a complaint if only they had followed the rules.
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The Role of Social Norms
Social norms often dictate acceptable behavior in public spaces, influencing how individuals react to perceived threats.
A study from Yale University highlights how adherence to social norms can lead to exclusionary practices that exacerbate conflict.
Recognizing these norms can help individuals approach social situations with greater awareness and empathy.
The peer pressure (of sorts) from work colleagues is a big challenge to overcome, but the main point of having that job is to fulfill the work and hold the responsibility the position entails.
Rules are not meant to be broken–they are made for a reason. In this case, it is to make commuting to the university convenient and safe for the female dormers.
Comment down your thoughts or share this article with your family and friends!
Engaging in community-building activities can enhance feelings of safety and belonging, reducing the impulse to exclude others.
Research indicates that fostering connections within diverse groups can create a more inclusive environment.
Encouraging collaborative efforts can help mitigate fears and promote healthier social dynamics.
Psychological Analysis
This situation illustrates the complex interplay between personal safety and social dynamics. It's important for individuals to recognize their triggers and engage in open dialogue to foster understanding and collaboration.
Encouraging inclusive practices can help mitigate fears and promote healthier community dynamics.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Navigating social dynamics, particularly regarding safety and inclusion, can be challenging. When individuals approach these situations with empathy and open communication, they can foster healthier interactions and reduce conflict.
Recognizing personal triggers, setting boundaries, and encouraging community engagement are essential strategies for creating a sense of safety and belonging.
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
In conclusion, addressing safety concerns requires a balanced approach that considers the complexities of human behavior and societal dynamics. Research supports the necessity of understanding and addressing the root causes of fear and prejudice rather than reacting impulsively. By fostering dialogue and collaboration, we can create safer, more inclusive environments for everyone.
