Dry Pot Dinner Plan Gets Awkward After The Host Asks A Guest To Help Cover Groceries
The host called it normal, the guest called it tacky.
In a high-cost city where dinner can easily hit $100, it makes sense that OP felt excited when her friend invited her over to the new apartment for a first-time hosted meal.
The dish was a dry pot, a spicy stir-fry loaded with meats or veggies, and a long list of specialty seasonings. OP was excited, agreed to come, and even offered to cook something too, since the kitchen is small.
Then the invite started to come with conditions. The friend suggested OP bring a bottle of wine, which felt normal. But she also casually asked OP to pitch in for ingredients and spices.
At this point, OP felt a bit confused, since they knew their friend wasn't struggling financially and could definitely afford the ingredients and spices needed.
That reaction also comes from their history. OP has hosted this friend many times, mostly for cocktails. Interestingly, OP used to bartend and built a full home bar over the years: bottles, bitters, syrups, infusions, special ice molds, and the whole setup. Friends routinely stop by for pre-dinner drinks, and OP has never once asked anyone to chip in.
The friend argued that hosting people to drinks isn’t the same as cooking a full dinner and cleaning up after. She insisted that a dry pot is expensive, and despite what she's already bought, there are still many more spices to buy for the event.
Both couldn't seem to reach a compromise, as their perspectives on hosting have shown to be two opposing poles that may never attract.
Scroll through the screenshots below to see how this “cute dinner idea” became a debate that may very well threaten a wonderful friendship.
Let’s dig into the details
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OP was surprised when their friend asked them to pitch in for the cost of ingredients and spices, especially since they have hosted her several times FREE in their own apartment
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OP explained they have never asked anyone to contribute a single cent in any of their events
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When OP declined to contribute, she got upset. Her argument was that dry pot is expensive to make, and she'd be the one doing all the cooking and cleaning afterwards
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She also added that the dry pot would make about 5 - 6 servings. Considering that OP was planning to be there for dinner alone, her excuse still didn't make sense
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OP's belief is that if you offer to host people, you should be prepared to carry the cost and labor involved
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OP feels that going to a restaurant and splitting the bill would be a better option than what she's requesting
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Important edit
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We gathered some interesting comments from the Reddit community
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“Sounds like she wants to have a fun cooking adventure night but didn’t talk to you about the cost factor beforehand..”
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“NTA. She wants you to help stock her spice cabinet.”
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“In nearly every culture on earth what she did would be considered shameful.”
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Money and friendship get awkward fast when the “invite” starts sounding like an invoice. From the look of things, an overwhelming majority of Redditors have tilted towards OP's side on this matter.
This probably isn’t really about dry pot at all. It’s about expectations that were never said out loud, plus a little bit of scorekeeping on both sides.
Do you think OP is being fair, or is the host’s request totally reasonable? Share your take in the comments.
