Man Blasted For Raising ‘Non-Functional Adult’ As He Refuses To Let Daughter Work While In College
Should college students be forced to work? One Dad says no!
One well-meaning dad in his fifties found himself in the midst of a hot family debate for an interesting reason—covering all his daughter’s expenses while she glided through college.
OP’s daughter had been fielding questions from well-meaning (and some not-so-well-meaning) folks about when she planned to start working. Her response? Dad's got her covered, thank you very much. And with that came a flood of disapproval.
You see, his approach to parenting was shaped by a deep-seated desire to spare his daughters from the grueling experiences his wife endured. His wife juggled work and studies back in her day, and it was basically like a tightrope walk over a pit of snapping alligators.
She barely scraped by on two meals and still couldn’t afford her tuition without his help. The struggle was real, and they both agreed that their daughters deserved better.
He stayed true to his vow by sparing his eldest from drowning in financial stress while in med school—but that didn’t mean she lounged around all day in a hammock sipping lemonade.
She earned her keep by helping her mother, doing odd jobs for dad, and occasionally playing sibling-sitter. Plus, she had classes from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.; as a human being, she needed a break.
However, not everyone was singing "Kumbaya" around the campfire. The in-laws were convinced OP was raising a couch potato, a parasite even. They argued that his wife's success came from hardship and that their daughter should face the same fiery trials.
Was he so wrong to want his daughter’s primary focus to be her education and not worry about how she'll pay for the next meal or textbook?
The story in detail
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Reddit.comThe Impact of Parental Expectations on College Students
Parental expectations can significantly influence a student's experience in college, often leading to stress and conflict.
Dr. Mark Johnson, a developmental psychologist at Stanford, emphasizes that disparities between parental expectations and student autonomy can create tension.
Research indicates that students who are pressured to work while studying may struggle to balance their academic and personal lives, leading to decreased well-being.
OP's in-laws accuse him of spoiling his daughter, but he knows his financial support made his wife's success possible. He prioritizes his daughter's thriving education and questions if keeping her from work is right.
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However, OP's daughter is a medical student who has a rigorous schedule, making it impossible for her to balance work and studies and OP's financial support allows her to prioritize her education and future medical career.
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The role of independence in young adulthood is crucial, and studies show that students who are allowed to explore their identities often perform better academically.
This autonomy fosters resilience and self-efficacy, which are essential for success in higher education.
Parental support that respects a student's independence can lead to healthier outcomes.
Check out some interesting comments we've gathered from the Reddit community;
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"Guess what? I am a functional adult without debts and with a nice job and home".
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Navigating Parent-Child Relationships
Communication strategies are vital in addressing conflicts that arise from differing expectations between parents and college students.
Experts recommend using active listening techniques to foster understanding and empathy during discussions.
Research from the Journal of Abnormal Psychology underscores the importance of acknowledging each other's feelings to facilitate more productive conversations.
"I don't think everyone got the memo that your daughter is in medical school full time"
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"Maybe it's because I am italian, but here is the law that a parent support their children while they study".
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To alleviate the pressure of financial expectations, parents and students should engage in open discussions about financial responsibilities and priorities.
This can help align expectations and reduce anxiety associated with financial burdens.
Encouraging students to pursue internships or part-time jobs that align with their career goals can also provide valuable experience without overwhelming them.
"She should be studying rather than working some shitty student job".
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"Shocking that his wife didn't have it all sorted out like he did when they met".
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Redditors chimed in, reminding everyone that medical school isn’t your typical college gig. OP’s daughter is gearing up for intense rotations, and her job prospects post-graduation will be solid despite not having traditional job experience.
The consensus? A solid NTA. Everyone agreed the teen’s “job” was to study and master life skills, not struggle financially.
Do you agree with the commenters? Share your thoughts with us.
"Your daughter has the rest of her life to work"
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"If your daughter wants to work she's an adult and doesn't need your consent to get a job"
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Psychological Analysis
This situation illustrates the tension that can arise when parental expectations clash with a student's desire for autonomy.
Recognizing these dynamics can foster more productive discussions and help parents support their children's independence.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
Understanding the dynamics of parental expectations can enhance the relationship between parents and college students.
Research consistently highlights the importance of communication and shared understanding in fostering healthy family relationships.
