High School Student Feels Guilty After Embarrassing Classmate For Not Paying Attention, But Reddit Thinks He Deserved It

There are different personalities in a classroom. Among the most annoying are the slackers—those who don't pay attention and rely too much on their classmates.

One Redditor encountered this kind of person in his sophomore year. He describes how he dealt with such a classmate on the "Am I The A**hole?" (AITA) subreddit.

In his honors English class, he had a classmate who constantly asked him what they were doing, despite the teacher's clear instructions. This classmate would ask multiple times per class, even when instructions were written on the board and explained in detail.

This behavior became particularly frustrating when, during an assignment to look up definitions, the classmate repeatedly asked for help and didn't write anything down, despite the teacher going over the answers.

During one class, the teacher assigned homework, and the classmate, predictably, asked what they were supposed to do. The Redditor told him the instructions again and then advised him to pay more attention in class.

The classmate argued that it was hard to follow along, which led to the Redditor's frustration boiling over. He called out the classmate in front of the entire class, questioning how he managed to get into honors English and expressing his annoyance at being asked for help so frequently.

The classroom fell silent, and the teacher had to repeat the homework instructions. The Redditor later told his friend, who thought he had been too harsh.

The classmate didn't show up the next day, leaving the Redditor wondering if he had crossed a line.

The OP felt guilty after shaming his classmate. He asks this question.

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This guy just doesn't pay attention.

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Understanding Guilt in Social Interactions

Guilt is a complex emotion often rooted in our social and moral values. According to research by Dr. June Tangney, a leading psychologist at George Mason University, guilt can serve a functional purpose in promoting prosocial behavior, but it can also lead to excessive self-criticism if not managed well.

When someone feels guilty about their behavior, it often indicates an internal conflict between their actions and their values. This is particularly relevant in high school settings, where peer relationships and social dynamics can become intense and fraught with emotional undercurrents.

He depends on the OP to tell him the details of what they're supposed to do in class.

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One day, his classmate wasn't paying attention again, as expected.

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Behavioral analysts suggest that when individuals embarrass others, it can stem from their own insecurities or a need to assert dominance in a social hierarchy. This aligns with social comparison theory, which posits that individuals assess their own worth by comparing themselves to others. As noted by Dr. Daniel Kahneman, a behavioral economist, "People often engage in social comparison to gauge their self-esteem, which can lead to harmful behaviors like embarrassing others." Such behaviors can lead to social ostracism and increased anxiety among peers, particularly in adolescent environments, as highlighted by Dr. Susan David, an emotional agility expert, who states, "The impact of social dynamics during adolescence can significantly shape one's self-perception and emotional well-being."

He kept asking what the teacher just said.

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The OP has had it. He called his classmate out, but the guy talked back, saying that it was hard to follow along.

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The Role of Empathy in Conflict Resolution

Empathy plays a crucial role in resolving conflicts and understanding differing perspectives. According to Dr. Jamil Zaki from Stanford University, empathy can be cultivated through practices that enhance emotional awareness and perspective-taking.

In situations where one feels guilty for their actions, leveraging empathy can help individuals recognize the impact of their behavior on others and foster healthier communication strategies.

Research has shown that empathetic engagement can lead to more constructive outcomes in social disputes, highlighting the importance of emotional intelligence in peer interactions.

He then shames his classmate, asking him how he got into an honors class.

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Everyone in the classroom noticed the OP's annoyance.

He told his friend about it and believes he's in the wrong.

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To address feelings of guilt and improve interpersonal relationships, it's beneficial to engage in self-reflection and open dialogue with those affected. Techniques such as journaling can help individuals process their emotions and articulate their thoughts more clearly.

Additionally, practicing assertive communication can create opportunities for individuals to express their feelings and repair any damage done to relationships, ultimately fostering a more supportive social environment.

Unfortunately, students like the OP's classmate are just everywhere.

It's understandable why the OP became mean. It was just frustrating.

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This classmate needs to realize that his peers wouldn't be able to keep up if he keeps asking these questions.

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People are bound to encounter classmates who don't pay attention to the teacher. It's challenging, but the only way to deal with this is to stop answering the questions so that the student will either be forced to concentrate or ask questions directly to the teacher.

Sure, the OP could have been nicer, but it's understandable why he responded in frustration. What would you have done if you had a classmate like the OP's?

Maybe the OP should just stop answering.

But since he called the guy out and embarrassed him in front of everyone, he probably won't be doing it anymore.

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Those concerns should be directed at the teacher, not his fellow student.

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Redditors giving the OP the best responses:

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Psychological Analysis

This scenario illustrates a common struggle with guilt in social settings, particularly among adolescents. The feeling of embarrassment towards a peer can reflect deeper insecurities about one's social standing and the desire to fit in, resulting in a defensive reaction that may not serve the individual well in the long term.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the psychological underpinnings of guilt and social behavior is essential for fostering healthier relationships. Addressing these emotions through empathy and open communication can lead to personal growth and improved social dynamics.

Mental health professionals emphasize that these patterns can be transformed through conscious effort and emotional awareness, paving the way for more fulfilling connections.